Husband is a saint

[Anonymous]

Ok, this will seem weird, but it's been bugging me a lot more than usual in recent weeks. My husband of ~20 years is a saint. Gentle, intelligent, kind, hardworking, healthy, and good-looking. He has no vices. Never tried drugs, never smoked a cigarette, has maybe 2-3 drinks per month. Solid career, good money, faithful, loving, thoughtful - I could go on. Yes, I know how lucky I am, and here's the issue.... It is quite stressful trying to live up to him. I am a good but flawed person. In my younger days I was a bit of a party girl, and I still have a drink every night. He has always inspired me to be a better person, and as soon as we started dating I worked hard to 'shape up' - no more partying, got serious about my career, grew up emotionally. Part of that was in response to family and friends telling me that he was too good for me - part of it was a genuine desire to emulate this incredible man that I fell in love with. Now, I am a responsible, successful adult and I generally like myself and am proud of what I've done with my life. But, I still enjoying having fun on occasion - the occasional cigarette with a girlfriend, the occasional toke when it crosses my path. I feel the need to hide these moments from my husband for fear that he'll judge me or be disappointed. Anyone dealt with these sorts of feelings?

[Anonymous]

He sounds really boring to me You are allowed to let go on occasion as long as it doesn't impact your kids and you keep in PG

[Anonymous]

OP here - no kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no kids.

Okay - I'm the PP - then you really should have no guilt about letting go. I have three and still go out drinking and dancing with my girls at least once every two months. Plenty of fun in between too. Then again...I"m not a have a drink every night kind of person. But we all have out things to keep us sane and happy. I believe having fun is one of the essential joys of life. As long as it is in moderation...like all things...even being good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Okay - I'm the PP - then you really should have no guilt about letting go. I have three and still go out drinking and dancing with my girls at least once every two months. Plenty of fun in between too. Then again...I"m not a have a drink every night kind of person. But we all have out things to keep us sane and happy. I believe having fun is one of the essential joys of life. As long as it is in moderation...like all things...even being good!

Thanks, OP. I guess what makes me feel weird is that he doesn't seem to need anything to keep himself sane and happy. So I feel like I shouldn't either. Maybe he is just boring - he seems 100% content with work and projects around the house and all the mundane details of daily life.

[Anonymous]

Must listen


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nIqZ1UU1Sms

[Anonymous]

Karma will strike you. It always does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Karma will strike you. It always does.

How? He'll wake up one day and turn into a monster? Or he'll leave me for someone better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Karma will strike you. It always does.

How? He'll wake up one day and turn into a monster? Or he'll leave me for someone better?

Nobody knows until it happens. But it will happen.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'll bite. What is the 'karma' part? This implies that I have done or will do something to deserve eventually being bitten in the ass by karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Okay - I'm the PP - then you really should have no guilt about letting go. I have three and still go out drinking and dancing with my girls at least once every two months. Plenty of fun in between too. Then again...I"m not a have a drink every night kind of person. But we all have out things to keep us sane and happy. I believe having fun is one of the essential joys of life. As long as it is in moderation...like all things...even being good!

Thanks, OP. I guess what makes me feel weird is that he doesn't seem to need anything to keep himself sane and happy. So I feel like I shouldn't either. Maybe he is just boring - he seems 100% content with work and projects around the house and all the mundane details of daily life.

I'm the first PP - you can just have different styles - maybe he's an introvert or you are an extrovert. Everyone needs different types and levels of social interaction. Doesn't make him a "saint" or you "bad". Talk to him!!

[Anonymous]

You're lucky. Just be happy.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a similar boat with genders reversed. Only I've corrupted her and feel a little guilty for dragging her down into my decadent lifestyle. Then I realize that she chose me for a reason. She appears happy and interested after a couple decades. She makes me better. I make her less than she might be otherwise. We make each other happy. Don't over think it. Enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

can you make your partying or sinfulness into a fun sex game?

[Anonymous]

He probably chose you for a reason, OP. My DW and I have some things in common, but are also very different in many ways. Even some of her flaws (temper, emotional) I secretly like in some ways as they counter aspects of my personality that are probably too far in the opposite direction (sometimes I probably should have more of a temper or be less logical about things).

My wife liked to party when we met, but when it comes to health, one thing I really respected was that she completely quit smoking. The drinking and going out is fine, but if he really loves you, I'm sure he would prefer you don't smoke at all. There are too many bad things that can happen to people with regards to health to tempt fate by smoking...