Can I ask my sister not to talk about someone?

[Anonymous]

My oldest sister has a friend. For very good reason, I hate this friend. I have never in my life hated anyone....Until now. I think she is a terrible person. The friend hasn’t done anything to me specifically beside some verbal rudeness. I have known the friend for 30 years. She used to be best friends with my middle sister until they had a falling out. Oldest sister used to also hate the friend while she was friends with middle sister. Now she likes her and won’t accept that I don’t.


So, it totally puts me in a mad mood when my sister talks about this friend. My sister knows this and it seems all she want to talk about is the friend. I don’t want to hear it. I have asked her not to talk about the friend to me. She told me I can’t control what she talks about. I only request she doesn’t talk about the friend to me and DH. She baits DH into talking about the friend in front of me. For example she will say “ my friend got seasons tickets to xxx” and my DH will causally ask who and then sister starts talking about the friend nonstop.

Go easy on me. She has done many things I don’t agree with. Am I wrong?

I know when my friends ask that I don’t talk about something, I respect that. My sister doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Your post indicates that you’re at least in your thirties. Yet both of you sound like you’re in middle school.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can ask. But if she doesn't comply your choice is to cut off speaking with your sister or hearing about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can ask. But if she doesn't comply your choice is to cut off speaking with your sister or hearing about it.

OP here, I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Leave the room. Simply walk away. If it is in your home, tell her, "If this is the topic you'd like to discuss, we're going to have to cut the visit short." If it is her house or your mom's house or something, walk out for a bit; if you return and it's still the topic, simply leave.

If it is somewhere neutral, like a restaurant, say, "I'm going to have to leave if this is the topic. Shall I get my food to go?"

[Anonymous]

Your sister is baiting you, and you are taking it.

Just respond with "that's nice. how 'bout them mets?"

and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is baiting you, and you are taking it.

Just respond with "that's nice. how 'bout them mets?"

and move on.

She is! But what kind of an ass sister would do that? I can’t imagine.

[Anonymous]

Like in Christmas, she pulls up a picture on her phone and says to DH “ look at this amazing car”. Naturally, he asks whose car it is. Then sister starts talking about the friend.....and her new car.

[Anonymous]

Since your sister doesn't respect your wish and intentionally brings the friend up, you should team up with your DH to talk about something else while your sister's yapping about that friend. If you're alone with yours sister, simply walk away (bathroom break excuse or something like that). Hopefully, after a few times, she will get the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like in Christmas, she pulls up a picture on her phone and says to DH “ look at this amazing car”. Naturally, he asks whose car it is. Then sister starts talking about the friend.....and her new car.

So did your DH get your back and say ‘SIL, DW has asked that you not talk about this person. To respect my wife’s wishes, im going to ask the same of you with me. I have no interest in this person, please don’t bring her up again.”

You all need to grow up. You just walk away. DH stands up for you. Everyone ignores sister and walk out of the room

[Anonymous]

I say this as one of 6 sisters: you shouldn't have to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this as one of 6 sisters: you shouldn't have to ask.

So if I ask and she ignores, what do you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this as one of 6 sisters: you shouldn't have to ask.

So if I ask and she ignores, what do you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as one of 6 sisters: you shouldn't have to ask.

So if I ask and she ignores, what do you suggest?

The same thing as everyone else on the thread has said. Stop engaging when she does it. Remove yourself physically if necessary. You’re making this harder than necessary. I’m guessing she enjoys the reaction she’s getting from you so she keeps doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as one of 6 sisters: you shouldn't have to ask.

So if I ask and she ignores, what do you suggest?

The same thing as everyone else on the thread has said. Stop engaging when she does it. Remove yourself physically if necessary. You’re making this harder than necessary. I’m guessing she enjoys the reaction she’s getting from you so she keeps doing it.

Ok, thanks. I will do that. She is a terrible person though, if she enjoys seeing me upset.