would you allow your 17 y.o. DD meet and date people online?

[Anonymous]

DD is dating a woman that she met on Instagram. They are both seniors in high school. I don't like that my DD is meeting people via the internet- it just seems so random and we know nothing about these people. FWIW-I'd feel this way even more so if she were meeting boys.... Thoughts??
If I tell her I don't like it she'll claim that I'm not supportive of her being a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

My same age niece's "teen, high school" online romantic interest was actually a middle age possible transgendered or maybe not creep posing as a teen.

[Anonymous]

FEck no

[Anonymous]

It seems too young OP but I understand once she's 18 she can do what she likes.

Tell her it's not about her preference but her safety! Are there any girls she could date at school or through school activities? Hopefully she'll be able to meet potential dates in person when she goes to college.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP OP and I forgot to add, I think you sound like a very supportive mom!

[Anonymous]

I do allow my 17 year old DD to have an online dating profile and meet people she feels are interesting. My DD identifies as bi and has met both males and females. They meet in public spaces and she does not go anywhere with them.
So far she has met some really interesting young people and she is learning to navigate these social interactions (including how to end communication, the ups and downs of having an unrequited crush and maintaining a sense of dignity, seeing through some b.s.). I do worry and feel frantic when I dont get a text back. I discreetly (?) track her phones location.
I am not thrilled with by the inherent stranger danger but so far she has met really decent people with a lot of impressive things going on in their lives. I am super grateful she shares her impressions and hopes with me still, even asking my advice now and again. I prefer this to what many young relationships are - tunnel visioned obsession!
visionedobsession

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

My same age niece's "teen, high school" online romantic interest was actually a middle age possible transgendered or maybe not creep posing as a teen.

That’s disturbing!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the horse has already left the barn on this one since she's already dating someone she met online. She'll be an adult and away from home so soon, so maybe it makes sense to use this to talk about precautions and safety? If you tell her she can't meet potential dates online, she has more limited dating pool at her school than a girl interested in guys and high motivation to hide any more meeting people online and she won't tell you if she's meeting someone new from Instagram for coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

My same age niece's "teen, high school" online romantic interest was actually a middle age possible transgendered or maybe not creep posing as a teen.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

This is not so simple for LGBTQ kids. The dating pool for hetro kids is huge. But for others, there really is very little opportunity to meet potential dates. The Internet is one of the biggest sources for connections. If you are going to take that away as an option, what are you going to offer in return? Teens crave romantic relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do allow my 17 year old DD to have an online dating profile and meet people she feels are interesting. My DD identifies as bi and has met both males and females. They meet in public spaces and she does not go anywhere with them.
So far she has met some really interesting young people and she is learning to navigate these social interactions (including how to end communication, the ups and downs of having an unrequited crush and maintaining a sense of dignity, seeing through some b.s.). I do worry and feel frantic when I dont get a text back. I discreetly (?) track her phones location.
I am not thrilled with by the inherent stranger danger but so far she has met really decent people with a lot of impressive things going on in their lives. I am super grateful she shares her impressions and hopes with me still, even asking my advice now and again. I prefer this to what many young relationships are - tunnel visioned obsession!
visionedobsession

A lot of good perspective and strategy here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not so simple for LGBTQ kids. The dating pool for hetro kids is huge. But for others, there really is very little opportunity to meet potential dates. The Internet is one of the biggest sources for connections. If you are going to take that away as an option, what are you going to offer in return? Teens crave romantic relationships.

This is true. All good points.

Also, look at the relationship board. Everyone there is using dating apps. Why is that so different on the lgbt board? Why can’t the lgbt community use dating apps?

[Anonymous]

I think Instagram is different than if she were using hook-up apps.

This is a great opportunity to talk about those safety rules the PP talked about.

Also, I was dating boys from other schools, friends of friends, when I was in high school. I didn't know much about them either.

[Anonymous]

OP, is there nobody in your life that you've met through the internet? It doesn't feel that uncommon, these days. One of my best friends is someone I knew online for a couple of years before we met in person.

I agree with PPs -- this is the time to teach her how to manage interactions with strangers safely, as she is on the verge of adulthood.