Parenting a teen in love

[Anonymous]

My 15yo is newly in a relationship, which came a little out of nowhere because a few weeks ago I would have said he wasn't anywhere close to that stage. But suddenly here we are and I'm trying to strike some kind of balance in this new phase of life. His SO is a great kid and I don't have any issues there, which is a relief. But I am having issues with managing this new and all-consuming thing in my son's life and the ripple effect it's having. Suddenly the texting is nonstop and every time I walk into his room they are facetiming. They want to be together every afternoon after school and all weekend long.

This is a kid who has never had much in the way of a social life, so we don't really have any systems in place for this sort of thing and I'm not sure where to start. He's not great at being self-motivated to do his work, so I'm worried this distraction will just complicate an already difficult homework situation, and I'm also just feeling like he's never present even when his SO isn't physically in our house because of the constant texting. At the same time, I don't want to start making all kinds of rules that make it feel like I don't support his relationship, because I really am happy he's found someone he wants to be with right now. I'm looking for some basics to start with, so if you have some suggestions please send them my way. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Phone goes into a communal area to charge after a certain time in the evening until the next morning.

Be prepared for the break up.

[Anonymous]

Why not tell him that you miss him and your concern about homework. Ask him to suggest solutions. I’d also let him know how important maintaining other relationships is. Couples that drop everything else when they start dating put a lot of pressure on the relationship. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If all school work is done, grades are acceptable, we allow our DS to go to girlfriends house after school or evening (or she to our house) IF a parent is home. If no parent home, to bad. And I check (text with parent) every time.

Sometimes they do homework together. IF there was a missed assignment at school that week, nope, they can't see each other.

Phones are never allowed at the table (by any of us) and always plugged in and charging on the main level starting at 9:30pm (bedrooms upstairs, teen hangout space in the basement). If they are at our hoise, in the basement, the door is left open, and I go downstairs frequently.

It's all fine. They are sweet! We have had many conversations about respectful relationships, had and continue to have sex talks, and so far anyway, he has a good, what I would call healthy balance of hanging out with her and hanging out with guy friends and doing his sports activities and keeping grades up. Oh to be young again and have that much energy!