How long did it take your DC to feel at home at CES?

[Anonymous]

DD transferred to the CES this year for 4th but she's still spending most of her time with neighborhood friends. Is this typical?

[Anonymous]

It took no time for my DS to adjust. About 1/3 of the kids from two CES classes were either his friends from previous school or he already knew previously from extra-curriculum activities, so it's very easy for him to adjust, and he made a couple of new friends ever since. Room teacher did discuss seriously with every parent in the past teacher-parent meeting of how CES kids adjust, and if they ring alarm, teacher would let you know. If both teacher and your DD do not complain, mostly likely it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Not atypical. My CES 4th grader is in same boat. Older CES child also took a while to get to know the new kids in class. Patience. They'll work in groups soon and they will have reading groups too. Connections will be made.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean your child spends most of her time outside of school with her neighborhood friends? Or most of lunch/recess?

I think most regional CES kids spend a lot of outside school time with neighborhood friends because they have been friends longer, they are closer to home, and families want to maintain those ties/friendship so that coming back to the neighborhood middle school will be an easier transition.

My 4th grader has made new friends at school and spends lunch/recess playing with them, but on the weekends most of our activities are with neighborhood/old school friends for the reasons above.

If your neighborhood attends the same school as the regional center, I would think it's also normal for a kid to gravitate toward friends they've known longer and take time to get to know the kids in their classes. But I don't know, my CES kid seems to know the kids in her classes pretty well now. But none has been over to our house on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

DD is in fifth grade CES now. It took until the spring before she had true friends other than those she knew before the program. There was one new friend she saw a bit over the summer but it’s not until this fall when she has been going to birthday parties and seeing CES friends outside of school. It took awhile and it’s really a shame that most of this new cohort will no longer be together next year.

[Anonymous]

OP here. She definitely has friends to sit with at lunch and play with a recess and likes her classmates but she hasn't made any effort to try to connect with them outside of school. She was at a birthday party for a CES classmate and I noticed every child was from the CES. Her birthday is coming up and she'd like to have a party but her list only includes friends from the old school.

PP with the 5th grader--How does she feel about her CES friends going to different middle schools? I wondered about that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is in fifth grade CES now. It took until the spring before she had true friends other than those she knew before the program. There was one new friend she saw a bit over the summer but it’s not until this fall when she has been going to birthday parties and seeing CES friends outside of school. It took awhile and it’s really a shame that most of this new cohort will no longer be together next year.

I have a 5th grader at a CES and agree with this. It is definitely a huge down side to the MCPS CES system.

Our CES draws from multiple HS clusters. Kids are going to 3 different home MS, and possibly a few will end up at the Magnet MS. It would be much better if they kept the CES just for kids from each MS. At least then, the kids would know they'd see each other again in MS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She definitely has friends to sit with at lunch and play with a recess and likes her classmates but she hasn't made any effort to try to connect with them outside of school. She was at a birthday party for a CES classmate and I noticed every child was from the CES. Her birthday is coming up and she'd like to have a party but her list only includes friends from the old school.

PP with the 5th grader--How does she feel about her CES friends going to different middle schools? I wondered about that too.

Sounds like both my kids. Both had friends at HGC (what it was called back then) but didn't have close friends until 5th grade. Also, they do have a fair bit of homework, and kid are spread out geographically. It's not always easy planning playdates.

[Anonymous]

Which CES? My DD is slow to warm up to new people, and has taken a strong liking to one girl but is kind of lukewarm on the others. I keep trying to encourage her to see them as potential friends. I wish the teachers could do more to spur the social side of the equation.

OP, it's great that your DD has good friends from her old school, who I assume live fairly nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is in fifth grade CES now. It took until the spring before she had true friends other than those she knew before the program. There was one new friend she saw a bit over the summer but it’s not until this fall when she has been going to birthday parties and seeing CES friends outside of school. It took awhile and it’s really a shame that most of this new cohort will no longer be together next year.

I have a son who is in 5th grade CES and his experience aligns with this post. The first few months were challenging, and he was comfortable by spring of 4th grade. His teacher tells me he's friendly or friends with everyone in the class, and he seems quite happy in the program, so it is a shame (like PP said) that most of them will not be together next year.

[Anonymous]

If your child is in 6th and at a CES last year did your child keep in touch with friends who go to a different MS?

[Anonymous]

I have a 6th Grade CES Alum. In 4th Grade, I think friendships were still forming at this time of year. During 5th Grade, the CES bonds were strong. Now in 6th, my DD spends lunch with mostly CES friends at the home school, and the fall birthday parties have been CES kids from multiple schools. There are Google hangouts, and texts among the CES group. My DD isn't too into the group chats, but does stay in touch by text with close CES friends at other MS.

[Anonymous]

My CES 4th grader hangs out with kids from her previous school plus one or two new friends at lunch and recess. I was concerned too so I talked to the teacher at parent-teacher meeting. The teacher said it could take up to a year depending on the kid. Thinking of it DD has been feeling fine about this and it was me who has been anxious, so I'm trying to be more patient.

[Anonymous]

My CES kid didn't really make strong friendships at her new school until later in 4th, and more so in 5th. She didn't really hang out with the CES kids from her old school, as she'd already started to have less in common with them in 3rd grade, but it took a while for her to really find her tribe in 4th. She mainly hung out with one best friend still at her old school, at first, as well as friends from extracurriculars.

Especially early on, she had some rough days on the playground where she felt like certain groupings of kids weren't really welcoming, even though individually she considered them friends. Eventually she found a few she could reliably count on, and started getting together with them out outside of school. In 5th grade, they had some projects they worked on with the non-CES kids, and she made a few friends among that group as well. She did find that a lot of the CES kids were really heavily scheduled in the afternoons and on weekends, which made getting together pretty tough. That's not unique to CES kids, but we did notice it a bit more, perhaps because the increased homework exacerbated the tight schedules.

She's now in 6th at a MS magnet, and many of the the kids zoned for it were also zoned for her CES elementary, so she does already have some non-magnet friends. She's still chatting and getting together regularly with old friends from her home school and CES, as well as friends from other activities. So far this year, the kids she's gotten together with outside of school have all been at other middle schools. She's got lots of buddies at school, both magnet and non-magnet, but other than studying by Google hangout or school-related texting, that's about it. She's definitely still clung to old friends outside of school.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the kid. I've had two kids go through CES. We moved to MoCo when the older one started third grade; she liked her teacher but was bored silly. I think maybe only 1 other kid from her ES went to the CES and she wasn't friends with him anyway, so she had to start over from scratch but jumped right in with both feet. She is now at a magnet MS and her closest friends are those that she knew from CES, but she has made more friends in MS.

My younger girl started at her ES in K so she had 4 years to develop a group of neighborhood friends before she went to CES. Her friends are probably half and half now, but it's a lot easier to get together with the neighborhood friends for playdates and other social events, so that's where the majority of her outside socializing is done.

It is harder to maintain the CES friendships when they go off to middle school if they're not neighborhood friends, so I think my younger daughter will have the easier time of it next year whether she goes to home MS or magnet MS. And then there's HS -- my older daughter is experiencing significant social anxiety at having to start all over again in HS since almost all of her friends are CES/MS friends. I think overall it's great to maintain that base of neighborhood friends so that when your kid transitions to MS/HS there's at least a home base to start from even if they develop friendships in completely different directions.