How to resolve the division of domestic labor?

[Anonymous]

Even before we had kids, our household was out of wack in terms of domestic chores, but having kids definitely didn't help things. Kids are now 11 and 9. I work half time, so it's natural that I would take the lion's share of domestic chores, and yet the division still seems out of wack. Has anyone managed to work through this issue successfully? It feels like the one fight we keep having. Any books or articles that are worth reading?

[Anonymous]

I think joint counseling might help. I expect the issue here is communication, not division of chores. Better communication can help better than a book or article, and could help in other areas in the relationship as well. If you can get him to buy in to counseling.

[Anonymous]

Some people will chime in and suggest it’s better to outsource chores than pay for a counselor or have conflict in your marriage. Depends on what’s really causing the issue with your fighting. You said this is the only fight. My vote would be to just outsource what you can and bite your tongue. If everything else is fine.

[Anonymous]

Is there an app for this? I have looked and they all seem to be either patronizing apps geared toward incentivizing kids or "partner" apps that don't allow to include all family members on an equal basis.

Any apps out there that work for anyone? I'd love my partner and my kids to be able to see visually who's doing what and how much.....

[Anonymous]

Outsource and add chores to the kids' plates. If it's the one fight you keep having, you can make your life a lot easier by not fighting about it anymore.