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kids caught us in the act--what is the right way to handle?
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Anonymous
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Our kids are school aged, go to bed around 8:30, and are great sleepers. DH and I have our evening together after they go to bed. Last night, well after 11 when they are usually sound asleep, DH were in the most literal throes of the act when DC1 walked in and said "What's that sound? What's happening?" DH and I first froze and tried to pretend we were asleep, which made DC1 walk over to my side of the bed and ask me if I was having a nightmare. I told her, yes, I had a bad dream but I'm fine and please go back to bed now. DH kept "sleeping" and didn't utter a peep. This morning, I overheard DC1 telling DC2 that she didn't sleep because mommy had had a nightmare last night and woken her up and she was worried and couldn't go back to sleep. DC2 said, "yeah, I heard something too".
I am completely mortified. Our kids have seen DH and me kiss, cuddle, and have seen us unclothed getting in and out of the shower, etc. But who wants to even think about their parents...let alone overhear it and walk in on it? Are my kids permanently scarred? Do I bring it up and continue the I-had-a-nightmare-thanks-for-your-concern-I'm-fine thing? Or pretend it never happened? It's not time for "the talk" is it? |
Anonymous
| How old are they? I would just let it go. The talk can come another time when they are not picturing you. . . |
Anonymous
1st grader and 3rd grader |
Anonymous
| I would let it go, too. No need to bring it back up. They may figure it out eventually but they probably won't want to talk about it! |
Anonymous
| I would let slide, as mentioned before. |
Anonymous
LOL! I agree with the others. |
Anonymous
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I would let it slide, but if you haven't yet, I think you need to start talking to your kids about sex and where babies come from. "The talk" shouldn't be a one time thing but a gradual education in age appropriate terms over time.
Also, get a hook and eye for your door, start teaching them to knock before entering, etc. I think that "nobody wants to think about their parents" that way is learned, not necessarily innate. You shouldn't be ashamed for your kids to know that you and Daddy share that special kind of love between a husband and wife and that there's a physical part of that. |
Anonymous
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ugh, had this happen before too. dd would try to come in our door and say "keep jumping! i want to jump too!"
mortified. we would say either oh we were wrestling. or.... oh i'm just about to take a shower? i don't know how people deal with it. |
Anonymous
| The last thing you want to do is make this a bigger deal. They probably didnt know anything specific, so why tell them? Better get a good lock for your door, though. It was at about that age we had to put a big ole deadbolt on our bedroom door. |
Anonymous
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I already knew about sex by the time I was in first grade, so they may already know (that sex exists, not that that's what you were doing).
I also walked in on my parents once when I was around that age -- closer to 1st than 3rd grade, I think -- and I knew what they were doing but didn't think anything of it, just learned to knock before entering. They never talked to me about it afterward. In other words, I say it's no big deal. |
Anonymous
| Get, and use, a lock. |
Anonymous
| better they see you loving each other as opposed to arguing with each other-both occur in normal adult relationships. just tell them mommy and daddy love each other and they love you too as well (although not in the same way). Sorry, meant to help not make things more complicated. |
Anonymous
You have just inspired me to get a hook and eye lock for my door 
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