When did you discuss salary info with your SO?
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Anonymous
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Listening to the radio, and they're talking about how many couples don't discuss their salaries...even after they marry. That's just crazy!
When did you disclose? If you haven't, why not? |
Anonymous
| We were pretty open when we got serious (how much student loan debt, general ballpark on salaries), and new actual numbers when we moved in together. Married now and everything is on a shared Mint account so we can see each other's takehome to the penny. Joint finances. |
Anonymous
| For me, it was when we were moving in together, and we had to fill out a rental application. |
Anonymous
| we met as grad students so knew about all the job offers the other person was getting, including salary, to help each other decide - that was about a year after we started dating. we also knew how much in student loans the other had from while we were dating - discussed that early-ish on |
Anonymous
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We got married in college.
"I make 10.50 at Chick-Fil-A." "Can I get a job there? I only make 7 at Toys R Us." |
Anonymous
| Basically immediately. In detail. Not like "I need to disclose this," but I feel like it's just a pretty integral part of your life as you're getting to know someone. Not sure why you wouldn't and CERTAINLY once it became serious (before moving in, getting married, etc.) |
Anonymous
| Once things got serious. We moved really fast and were serious after about 6 weeks. I joked that I loved SO even though I had no idea how much he made. He told me, and it was more than I thought. Ironically he doesn't make much for this area ($140K) and I make more. He lived in a smaller town and thought women liked him for his salary. I didn't have the heart to tell him that if I was looking for money I wouldn't have picked him. LOL. |
Anonymous
True love! |
Anonymous
On the flip side, I had been seeing this woman for about 4 months. When she found out what I made -- PhD scientist, 2 years out of grad school, she dumped for a big law associate. This was about 25 years ago. Through a mutual friend, I learned that he did not make partner and is currently doing document review. (this friend was horrified at how I was treated). I have risen in my organization, and am now making 220K. Bwahaha.... |
Anonymous
+1 This was us, too. |
Anonymous
| My salary is public, but takes a bit of searching. My now-husband tracked it down before our third date. He figured out I made half as much as him so immediately suggested that I pay for half as much as him on our outings, which we’ve been doing ever since (But now by dumping money into a shared account). |
Anonymous
| When we started seriously talking about moving in together. He told me first. |
Anonymous
And you find this story charming? |
Anonymous
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Never. We both teach for MCPS. I knew his degrees and years teaching in this district. He knew mine. It’s public record. There was a bit of discussion about non-salary income: we both do extracurricular activities, I used to tutor, he taught CC classes. However, that conversation was about was it worth continuing if we saw each other less. Ultimately, because we each had a kid in college and I had a younger child in private school, we did keep those side gigs going and delayed marriage about 18 mos for FA reasons.
I appreciate being spared the hypothetical awkwardness of disclosing total income to a dating partner. I had a lot of debt at the time and got that out in the open fairly early. |
Anonymous
| We worked for the same company. He started at $17,000 and I started a year later at $17,500. We didn't date for a few years but we knew. I know that sounds like below minimum wage but that was over 40 years ago when $17,500 was really big money. |