What would you do about this PE class situation for HFA DS?

[Anonymous]

Hello, my 4th grade 10 year old DS has mild ASD. School has been going great except for PE class, which has been a heart-breaking disaster. DS is the least athletic kid in the class and is increasingly self-conscious about it. Before this year, he actually enjoyed gym class. What changed is that his new gym teacher seems to be more of an old fashioned, staff-sergeant type than his previous teachers, and in addition they've started Healthy Fitness Zone tests twice a year, where kids are graded on their athletic skills in things like running and sit-ups. DS has always been averse to climbing, running, and the other kinds of physical activities that would give him these skills. We exercise as a family at home, but we can only push DS so far and so the returns are very limited. Not unexpectedly, he scored poorly in all of the Healthy Fitness Zones test areas. Yesterday, his gym teacher announced everyone's scores in front of the entire class, and DS was utterly humiliated. He cried when he told me about it at home.

To make matters more complicated, DS's school doesn't know that he has ASD. The neuropsychologist who diagnosed DS recommended that we wait several years to speak openly with him about it. Because DS is doing great in school academically and because of the recommendation to wait awhile before discussing autism with DS, we made a decision to keep the diagnosis as private as possible. We want to minimize the odds that DS will find out before his Dr. thinks he's ready for it.

In this situation, what would you do? I want to do something - ANYTHING - to make it so that DS doesn't have to be so embarrassed and stressed about PE. I've encouraged him just to try his best and not worry about grades and what not, but this only helps so much. Would you make the PE teacher aware of his ASD, and take on the risk that she doesn't keep it private? Should we seek some sort of accommodation for DS? I have no idea what to do and welcome any suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the school, OP. I understand waiting to tell your child about their diagnosis but not why you wouldn't tell the school - even if he's doing great academically there can be social and behavioral areas where school could be helping/more understanding if they knew your child needed support.

[Anonymous]

This isn't an ASD issue. Though if the school is not aware, than this must be the most mild case ever or the school already knows and is wondering why you are not doing something about it.

I would let the teacher know that announcing the scores in front of everyone was humiliating for your child and ask that the teacher please respect his privacy. It is not about having a disability but about being sensitive to the needs of the kids.

[Anonymous]

If the gym teacher knew he humilitated your child, I’m sure he would feel horrible. Even old style gym teachers are human beings.

I would start by setting up a conference with the teacher. You are both adults that want the best for your child. Explain how your child feels and see what the teacher says. If your child’s General studies teacher embarrassed your child, would you say something?

If the teacher blows you off, then it’s time to escalate to the principal. If your child needs accommodations due do his disability, then you should work with the school to obtain them.

[Anonymous]

Tell the school. My son was not diagnosed until 4th grade an having staff know the diagnosis has made a huge difference in how they respond to him. They don't need to say anything specific to him about it, it's all in how they view his behavior (deliberate vs. not, bratty vs. clueless, intentionally rude vs. anxious, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the gym teacher knew he humilitated your child, I’m sure he would feel horrible. Even old style gym teachers are human beings.

I would start by setting up a conference with the teacher. You are both adults that want the best for your child. Explain how your child feels and see what the teacher says. If your child’s General studies teacher embarrassed your child, would you say something?

If the teacher blows you off, then it’s time to escalate to the principal. If your child needs accommodations due do his disability, then you should work with the school to obtain them.

I as never diagnosed with anything and was regularly bullied and humiliated by a teacher who knew damn well what she was doing. I think the gym teacher here did, too.

OP, as others have said it is not an ASD issue. I am not sure how you should proceed because if the gym teacher is just a bully and a jerk confronting her might only escalate her behavior. If you trust the principal I would involve he or she early on. You could maybe say that you DS has a medically based coordination issue that does not impact his academics but does set an upper limit for his physical performance. I would stress that he once enjoyed PE and now dreads it, and you are searching for solutions to make it motivating for your DS again because it is important to you that he maintain his physical fitness to whatever degree he is able. If the teacher is searching for a way to honor the kids who have done well, she could simply announce the top 3 performers or something like that.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell the school. Things get so much tougher socially in the next year or two and you need to have some proactive plans in place. Otherwise what is the point of having a diagnosis at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to tell the school. Things get so much tougher socially in the next year or two and you need to have some proactive plans in place. Otherwise what is the point of having a diagnosis at all?

+1. Your school already knows your DS has issues and either thinks you are in denial and/or simply unaware of your DS’s struggles at school. What made you get your DS a neuropsych eval in the first place? Share the diagnosis with the school. There are many things your school can do to support your DS with his social communication deficits.

- signed mother of a DS with “mild” ASD/ADHD, 11 in 6 grade, who never had academic issues.

P. S. If your son has an ASD, level 1, diagnosis it isn’t “mild”

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but announcing scores like that is a FERPA violation. those scores are educational records and a teacher can not disclose them without violating privacy rights.

There is no discussion or negotiation to be had about this.

Write a simple email - state the facts about the disclosure. State the law - that it’s a privacy violation and impermissible disclosure of educational records. State that you expect it was an oversight that won’t happen again. Send to the gym teacher and Principal.

For bullies like the Gym teacher, IME, the behavior doesn’t stop until they realize it could affect them professionally in a negative way. They only realize this when bullying is exposed to supervisors inside and outside school. They depend on your fear of retaliation to keep you submissive and accepting of the abuse, but they lose their power when you speak up.

If this issue happens again raise it outside the school in writing with the head of special education. Forward the previous note. While this is not per se a Special ed issue because ALL kids would hate this kind of shame-based motivation, IME, special education top level supervisors recognize better than most administrators that this kind of behavior can potentially represent an expensive civil liability.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for these helpful and thoughtful replies. It seems to be a consensus that we should be more open with the school about DS's ASD diagnosis, and we'll do so starting with our upcoming P/T conference.

One side question, in MCPS if it matters. If we approach the school about an iep or 504 plan, can the school test my DS for gross and fine motor issues, or is this something we would need to do on our own? From what I understand about the iep/504 process, which is admittedly not very much, schools don't have to address or test for disabilities unless we can show an educational impact. Is doing poorly in gym class considered an educational impact? The neuropsychologist who diagnosed my DS with ASD did recommend he be evaluated by a physical therapist. We haven't followed up yet, in part because we're still reeling from the OOP cost of the ASD evaluation. Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?

Thanks so much again for the quick replies - they were so helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for these helpful and thoughtful replies. It seems to be a consensus that we should be more open with the school about DS's ASD diagnosis, and we'll do so starting with our upcoming P/T conference.

One side question, in MCPS if it matters. If we approach the school about an iep or 504 plan, can the school test my DS for gross and fine motor issues, or is this something we would need to do on our own? From what I understand about the iep/504 process, which is admittedly not very much, schools don't have to address or test for disabilities unless we can show an educational impact. Is doing poorly in gym class considered an educational impact? The neuropsychologist who diagnosed my DS with ASD did recommend he be evaluated by a physical therapist. We haven't followed up yet, in part because we're still reeling from the OOP cost of the ASD evaluation. Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?

Thanks so much again for the quick replies - they were so helpful.

Since you already did the neuropsych, the school May not reevaluate him again for ADHD. When you submit the neuropsych for an IEP, ask the principal in writing that your DS be evaluated for speech, OT and PT - the school has to evaluate him if asked. Motor issues certainly has educational impact.

FYI, it is very common for kids with ASD to have developmental coordination disorder, low tone, etc. My DS with ASD/ADHD got OT, PT and Speech (for pragmatics) when he was diagnosed with ASD at 4. Still gets OT and Speech in 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for these helpful and thoughtful replies. It seems to be a consensus that we should be more open with the school about DS's ASD diagnosis, and we'll do so starting with our upcoming P/T conference.

One side question, in MCPS if it matters. If we approach the school about an iep or 504 plan, can the school test my DS for gross and fine motor issues, or is this something we would need to do on our own? From what I understand about the iep/504 process, which is admittedly not very much, schools don't have to address or test for disabilities unless we can show an educational impact. Is doing poorly in gym class considered an educational impact? The neuropsychologist who diagnosed my DS with ASD did recommend he be evaluated by a physical therapist. We haven't followed up yet, in part because we're still reeling from the OOP cost of the ASD evaluation. Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?

Thanks so much again for the quick replies - they were so helpful.

Since you already did the neuropsych, the school May not reevaluate him again for ADHD. When you submit the neuropsych for an IEP, ask the principal in writing that your DS be evaluated for speech, OT and PT - the school has to evaluate him if asked. Motor issues certainly has educational impact.

FYI, it is very common for kids with ASD to have developmental coordination disorder, low tone, etc. My DS with ASD/ADHD got OT, PT and Speech (for pragmatics) when he was diagnosed with ASD at 4. Still gets OT and Speech in 6th grade.

Also, don’t wait until parent teacher conference unless it is tomorrow to get the IEP process rolling. Email the principal ASAP. It can take 60 days to get an IEP and supports and services.

[Anonymous]

^^ And discussing with the teacher does not initiate the school evaluation process.

[Anonymous]

OP, This board has a bias towards being really open about diagnoses with schools but many of the parents have children with more serious issues than yours. Your child's condition probably IS mild if no one has suggested getting an IEP and you have not had to tell him.

I do not think the PE issue is due to your child's challenges but the teacher's and I would address it as such.

If you're going to tell the school about your child's diagnosis you need to tell your child first. He's old enough that you owe him that. I know parents who have not told their children diagnoses they got when they were very young, especially if they were not clear cut cases or there was conflicting information, but 4th grade is pretty old not to understand that he has challenges.

Separately, if you do want to work on his gross motor skills enroll him in some sport outside of school. Swim lessons or soccer are good for building endurance.

At our school you would get nowhere in the IEP process. You'd go to the trouble of calling a meeting and they would meet and tell you there is no "suspected" impact from their perspective and they would not even test. A 504 for what? What accommodations are you seeking? The ability to opt out of the PE testing or get a modified test? On what grounds? Being physically uncoordinated is not a disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?
.

This. Yes. I know that's not what you want to hear.