HeartbrOken

[Anonymous]

Son with anxiety and depression was doing great, then crashed a couple of weeks ago. Now refusing to go to school. I cannot handle this. He has given up. Says he won’t fight the anxiety because it just comes back and he would rather just sleep on his bed. Looking at treatment centers. Heard awful things about everything around here. Looking to Mountain Valley in NH. Or Newport Academy in CT - but heard some bad things about it there.

[Anonymous]

So sorry you are going through this. Is he received treatment and seeing a psychiatrist? If so, sounds like his meds need to be tweaked. That should improve his condition.

[Anonymous]

We have tweaked lots of meds and nothing seems to be helping.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t want to talk to a therapist but I told him that if he didn’t he was going to have to go to a residential program.

[Anonymous]

Sending you support and good wishes. BTDT. My advice is to look for a program with a strong family component. My DD's residential program (girls only) includes weekly family sessions and a number of 3-4 day family workshops. We found those to be incredibly useful in giving us a sense of how to build a supportive home life for DD.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. How old is he? Does he have an IEP or supports in school?

[Anonymous]

Teachers are supportive. Working on a 504. But he won’t go.

[Anonymous]

How old?

[Anonymous]

Inform school of illness and ask for Home and Hospital teaching right away. With a note from the doctor, school must provide HHT. (Different states call it different things, but all must provide this.)

It's important to make the point that kids still have to do school, even when they're ill. It may be modified, some work or classes may be cut, but you can't get out of school entirely.

While on HHT, develop a plan with doctor and student to return to school -- maybe fewer classes? Hand-scheduled to be with supportive teachers? Re-entering with only one class at a time, slowly weaning off HHT?

Defintiely needs a 504 plan. What does "working on it" mean? The school must meet with you and make accommodations ASAP. Have you written an official letter requesting a 504 plan stating 1) diagnosis/disorder and 2) substantilally limits one or more major life activity and 3) requesting specific accommodations?

I have a lot of sympathy as my DC had major depression, missing up to 50 % of classes sometimes. But, we have a good 504 plan (after a bit of fighting with school). DC had lots of work cut, certain classes she could skip, accommodations like extra time, rescheduling of deadlines, copies of class notes, etc. At times she was on home and hospital, although that is not ideal because the teaching was very bad. But, at least it kept her on track and graduating on time with good grades.

Anxiety is a different animal, but the principles are the same -- what is it that DC *can* do? Even continuing a couple of classes at home or school helps. Accommodations might be different -- flash pass to the nurse, counseling or library where DC can work quietly.

Also, has DC been assessed with a complete psychoed? Sometimes it can come as a surprise that underlying drivers of anxiety area actually exacerbated by learning or social communication issues.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the advice. With school refusal they are reluctant to do himebound instruction but maybe it can keep us on track until new therapist kicks in. 504 request is being sent in today. This has all come to a head very quickly. Trying to stay above water. Teachers have informally done 504 accommodations in the mean time. - removed some assignments, etc. He doesn’t need flash pass because when he is at school he is fine. Right now his anxiety is so bad he cannot go in.

[Anonymous]

Op, I am so sorry. I am in the same boat right now - late for work in fact because it was so hard to get my son out of bed. But for us, my son is not fine at school. I have no words of advice because I'm too overwhelmed at our situation. Just want to send you good thoughts and strength and hope. Remember that it can take 8 weeks to see the effects of medication.

[Anonymous]

But school refusal is because of a HEALTH concern (yes, issues like depression and anxiety are MEDICAL conditions). So there should be homebound instruction - this isn't a case of a spoiled child who doesn't want to get dressed and go - this is a case of a child who CANNOT.

How old is your son?

[Anonymous]

He has been on meds for months. And he is in 10th grade.

[Anonymous]

And I have officially asked for homebound instruction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I have officially asked for homebound instruction.

In writing? How long ago? If they declined, did they respond in writing with a reason for declining?