Long view / perspective of parents with older players

[Anonymous]

I am a parent of soccer players (boys and girls) of different talent levels, the oldest of which is a U16. They play at different travel clubs that are appropriate for their skill levels (e.g., one of them plays for a DA/ECNL team (yes, I am being intentionally vague) and is quite good; another is with an entirely different club, as they love playing but probably would not make the “C” team of their siblings’ DA/ECNL club; etc.).

With that lengthy intro, I would love to hear from parents with older kids to get their perspective on their kids’ development as they aged through U13-their senior years. For example, we have seen with our kids that development is not linear over the years. One of them was arguably the top player on their team in the early U little years, then declined and was one of the worst players on the top team for a couple years, before rebounding and becoming a mid-level player for the top team. One of our other kids, on the other hand, has been consistently one of the top players on the top team. I imagine these varied experiences are common among soccer players, but would love to hear from other parents on this topic. For example, for those of you whose kids were starters or significant contributors for their high school or college teams, were they consistently “top half” players for their teams or was their development more uneven until they grew into their bodies? I would imagine the answers will be mixed, but am curious to hear people’s stories.

Thank you in advance.

[Anonymous]

I would love to hear and learn from the other parents too.

Did both of your kids have similar love of the game, training schedules, training routines and trainers?

[Anonymous]

OP here. We have 3 kids. They each have similar love of the game, but it is different based on their ages. For example, our oldest will want to attend DC United / Spirit games and will frequently watch soccer highlights on YouTube. Our youngest does not yet do those things, but I attribute it more to age and attention spans (as our oldest was not doing these things until a couple years ago). As for training, they all participate in their respective clubs’ formal training programs, both in- and out-season. Obviously that varies depending on the club and their ages. Informally, if one of them starts juggling/practicing at home, it does not take long before all of them are doing it, but I think that it more typical of younger siblings wanting to do whatever their older sibling is doing. In general, the younger siblings are more technically developed than the older siblings at their respective ages, but I think that is fairly common, given that the younger kids started informally playing with their older siblings and get better by playing against the older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of soccer players (boys and girls) of different talent levels, the oldest of which is a U16. They play at different travel clubs that are appropriate for their skill levels (e.g., one of them plays for a DA/ECNL team (yes, I am being intentionally vague) and is quite good; another is with an entirely different club, as they love playing but probably would not make the “C” team of their siblings’ DA/ECNL club; etc.).

With that lengthy intro, I would love to hear from parents with older kids to get their perspective on their kids’ development as they aged through U13-their senior years. For example, we have seen with our kids that development is not linear over the years. One of them was arguably the top player on their team in the early U little years, then declined and was one of the worst players on the top team for a couple years, before rebounding and becoming a mid-level player for the top team. One of our other kids, on the other hand, has been consistently one of the top players on the top team. I imagine these varied experiences are common among soccer players, but would love to hear from other parents on this topic. For example, for those of you whose kids were starters or significant contributors for their high school or college teams, were they consistently “top half” players for their teams or was their development more uneven until they grew into their bodies? I would imagine the answers will be mixed, but am curious to hear people’s stories.

Thank you in advance.

I would say definitely uneven. And it also varies with the expectations of the team you go to. Teams that favor more technical players are far fewer. A lot of clubs tend to favor the fast kid. I was very disappointed recently with my son's club. Supposedly it's all development, but the minute a super fast kid got recruited to the team, even though he was technically one of the absolute weakest, he began starting and sees full minutes. yes, he can outrun the other team, but his touch is so awful, that I'm not sure that initial "win" really amounts to much when the other team can just take it from him.

At the college level, it is an incredibly physical game most of the time at most levels.

[Anonymous]

Interesting question. I have three players, ranging from college age to elementary school. We all love soccer and watch a lot of games.

Eldest is a decent athlete overall, strong and coordinated, great endurance, but average speed. She started travel soccer later, but lucked into an excellent outside trainer when she was 11 or 12. She played for three different mid-level club teams in her youth career and played in HS. She was always a starter on her club teams, but not a huge impact player most of the time, more of a key role-player in the midfield. Her strengths were excellent foot skills and excellent game vision and passing--she was usually among the top 2 or 3 players on her teams in these areas. She didn't get that much playing time in HS. Most of the girls the coaches favored were either very fast or very physical, and she didn't really fit his style of play well. She looked into a few D3 soccer options, but ended up choosing a school based on academic fit. She plays for a very good college club team now, and they absolutely appreciate her skills, passing, and hustle. We used to wonder a bit if we'd failed her by not starting travel soccer earlier or looking for higher level club teams, but those regrets have faded over time now that she's a very happy college student. We are thrilled she still loves the game and we expect it will be a life-time sport for her.

Second kid is an excellent athlete and very fast. He was always a top player on his youth teams, and with the lessons we learned from the first kid, we knew better how to look for good training and teams. He never really went through any awkward phases, though he did run into a coach here and there who didn't fully appreciate him at first. Despite a few setbacks like that and minor injuries along the way, he's continued to be a very strong player, was always a starter, and is committed to a good D1 program now. When we think about why he's done so well, in addition to good training, luck, and good genetics, he is extremely driven and disciplined, I think much more so than average. He also loves the game and would rather play soccer than do anything else.

Too early to tell much with the third.

[Anonymous]

This is great to hear, and thanks for sharing the story. Our oldest is a U12. Like the prior poster's daughter, she was a little late to "travel," and this Fall joined one of the bigger clubs mentioned in this forum. She is on their "b" team, and we are quite hopeful that she will be able to make the club's ECNL team next year as rosters expand for the full field 11v11. She is in a big public school system, and we really hope that she continues to love playing soccer, continues to get better, and eventually makes her high school team and becomes a contributor for them. We will see, but it sounds like from the prior poster that this is a realistic goal. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is great to hear, and thanks for sharing the story. Our oldest is a U12. Like the prior poster's daughter, she was a little late to "travel," and this Fall joined one of the bigger clubs mentioned in this forum. She is on their "b" team, and we are quite hopeful that she will be able to make the club's ECNL team next year as rosters expand for the full field 11v11. She is in a big public school system, and we really hope that she continues to love playing soccer, continues to get better, and eventually makes her high school team and becomes a contributor for them. We will see, but it sounds like from the prior poster that this is a realistic goal. Thanks again.

I would make sure you do futsal in the off season. It's a great way to play small sided games in a fun, competitive format. As long as she enjoys where she's playing, she probably will keep loving it. Some clubs can be a killjoy for loving the game if either the coach or the team itself is a negative environment.