Tips for first IEP eligibile meeting next week

[Anonymous]

I am attending my daughter first IEP eligible meeting next week, and she is transitioning out from Infant & toddler program since she is about turning 3 year old. Any tips any parents can share?

I think I will dress professionally to look professional. And, a mom mentions to me that I should bring some coffee & snacks to the meeting, what to you think? And, she also mentions that I also have to be look serious throughout the meeting, do not smile to look so friendly (except polite smile). She says I have to look firm & be well prepared to fight for my daughter, and otherwise they may not take me seriously.

I have already printed out every professional evaluation reports that DD has visited for her delays & diagnosis through private insurance, and also I will bring all the draft IEP assessment reports the IEP have send me. And, I will bring a notepad, a pen, a water bottle, some napkins for my tears. I am still trying to wrap up everything that I & DH have discussed so far we think it may helpful to bring it to the table to the meeting. We are not from here, and we are still trying to figure out the montgomery county education system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am attending my daughter first IEP eligible meeting next week, and she is transitioning out from Infant & toddler program since she is about turning 3 year old. Any tips any parents can share?

I think I will dress professionally to look professional. And, a mom mentions to me that I should bring some coffee & snacks to the meeting, what to you think? And, she also mentions that I also have to be look serious throughout the meeting, do not smile to look so friendly (except polite smile). She says I have to look firm & be well prepared to fight for my daughter, and otherwise they may not take me seriously.

I have already printed out every professional evaluation reports that DD has visited for her delays & diagnosis through private insurance, and also I will bring all the draft IEP assessment reports the IEP have send me. And, I will bring a notepad, a pen, a water bottle, some napkins for my tears. I am still trying to wrap up everything that I & DH have discussed so far we think it may helpful to bring it to the table to the meeting. We are not from here, and we are still trying to figure out the montgomery county education system.

Btw, I am about to be due, 38 weeks pregnant. Should I try to cover my tummy to look professional? Or should I dress like a pregnant woman, will I win some sympathy point to get better services for DD? I think I am thinking too much, have been emotionally up & down. And, DH will come to the meeting with us as well.

[Anonymous]

IEP meetings are always stressful - sending you best wishes.

It sounds like you have a draft IEP already from the team, which suggests that they agree she is eligible for services from MCPS?

Are you satisfied with it or do you think your daughter needs more support than they are proposing? Do you have any questions about the placement they are proposing we can try and help with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IEP meetings are always stressful - sending you best wishes.

It sounds like you have a draft IEP already from the team, which suggests that they agree she is eligible for services from MCPS?

Are you satisfied with it or do you think your daughter needs more support than they are proposing? Do you have any questions about the placement they are proposing we can try and help with?

OP here, thanks for responding. Yes, DD is going to considered for eligibility for services from MCPS, and the IEP draft reports they have send me tell me her weakness & strengths, all assessment results, and feedback. They also include initial IEP goals which I think they are fine to me. however, there is no mention of what placement she will get, and no mention of what placement they propose. They will decide how much support & what is the placement at the end of the IEP eligibility meeting next week.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you need to be stressed about what to wear, or whether or not to smile, or bring snacks.

It is a business meeting, not a gathering of friends. But please don't worry about it if you get a little emotional. It happens all the time, and the participants will not care.

Are you familiar with the possible placements and do you and your husband have a preference? Parents are considered an equal member of the IEP team, and even if the school team has a recommendation you can push for something else if you disagree.

[Anonymous]

Don’t bring snacks. Dress as close to business casual as you can without sacrificing comfort. Don’t worry about hiding your tummy. Don’t worry about looking firm, serious, etc. BE firm about what services you think your child needs. Everything they “offer” you can be negotiated. Know what you want and why. Reiterate what you want and why as often as needed. Try not to stress too much — this is only the first draft of the IEP. If your child’s needs are severe, you will have many more to come. You can hire an advocate or lawyer for the next one if you feel like the district is being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Definitely do not bring snacks! It is okay to get emotional, but remember that you are there to advocate for what is best for your child.

While I would love to go back in time and have brought an advocate with me from our very first meeting, know that you are able to bring ANY supportive person with you that you like - you do not have to walk into the room alone.

What do you want for your child? Do you have particular supports or placements in mind? Make a list of these along with your questions so that you have them in front of you if you get flustered during the meeting.

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

I always bring a snack and I do smile if it is appropriate. and I do cry if my emotions go there. you are a team. go in knowing what you want and what you are willing to compromise on. be mentally prepared for battle, but don't start fighting until you have to.

[Anonymous]

As a staff member, I have been a part of hundreds of IEP meetings. Don't worry about what you wear and don't feel you need to bring a snack. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to share your viewpoint/concerns. Remember, you are an equal member of the team and your voice matters. They honestly don't care what you wear and snacks can be a distraction. Just be polite and smiling is a good thing! I find that meetings during which everyone is natural and open have the best outcomes.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but are you mary Poppins? Bring a snack and a smile?
Bring data.

[Anonymous]

Just be your selfe and don't take snacks. I never had issues with my IEP meetings, because I always thought I will get the best I can get,, when I got denied certain services I did private and kept pushing till I eventually got it. I don't think what you wear or do will affect the outcomes. Either you are lucky with good team or not.

[Anonymous]

You do not need snacks. You do not need to dress up. Smile or don't smile, that'll work itself out depending on what they tell you. Bring data and lots of it.

[Anonymous]

Another who says don't worry about snacks or what you wear. Also don't worry about smiling, crying and being serious. Likely this is the first of many meetings you will have with this group of people and over time you will probably get to know many of them pretty well.

These are business meetings and you are there to get work done. The best preparation is to know what your child's deficits are and develop any ideas that you can about how to address them. I always go in with a list to be sure that all of my concerns are addressed and that I don't forget anything.

I have been to what feels like a million IEP meetings - I have two kids with special needs, one who has graduated from HS and one in HS. I have never been in the position to fight for things. The schools have always been very generous with services and accommodations. The closest I ever came to "fighting" is that we postponed a goal that I requested from the fourth grade IEP to fifth. (It was independence in backpack management, which is essential for success in middle and high school).

[Anonymous]

My IEP meeting seemed more like a formality than anything. They have allll those reports that you have.

I wore jeans and a sweater... I have to bring my two young children who barely let me speak and I had to interrupt my meeting twice bc of those they both pooped.

Be prepared to tell them what your concerns are, what you think would best benefit your child and if your child has any safety concerns ( runs into the street and doesn’t stop when their name is called) allergies, sensory needs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:. I have to bring my two young children who barely let me speak and I had to interrupt my meeting twice bc of those they both pooped.

I’m a PP who has always had a good IEP experience. I would never do this. The IEP meeting really is serious business and very important to your child’s future. It is not merely a formality and not something to approach with such disregard.