When your teens ask, how honest are you?

[Anonymous]

My teen has recently started asking questions that have me stumbling over my words. For example, did you ever try smoking? Pot? Etc....
Yikes. How honest do you get with them?

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty honest (although I was a nerd as a teen, so not much to explain!) but I throw in caveats about how I wish I hadn't done something, or how it negatively affected me. Or those around me.

[Anonymous]

I was honest.
Tried it twice (18 and 25). Didn’t like how it made me feel.
Never liked how it made the smokers I know act.
Couple people I know accidentally smoked laced weed and end up in the ER after scary symptoms. A adult friend was sexually assaulted by the guy who smoked her out and the police treated her really badly.
Would really only consider it if I had a medical need with no alternative.
YMMV, but your brain is young and today’s weed is much stronger than in the past. Not enough research has been done yet on how it might affect you.
You can be honest with me if you try it or your friends smoke and I won’t freak out, but I’d much rather you didn’t try it as a minor.

[Anonymous]

I never smoked pot. If/when they ask I'll simply be truthful but I will also add that I didn't like what I'd seen pot do to classmates and former friends, and how the more regular pot users tended to go on to harder substances and how it really derailed their lives. And that I also found the smell nasty and how I have a very sharp sense of smell.

We'll see if they believe me

[Anonymous]

I don't lie, but I don't tell everything, either. And, where applicable, I admit that I regret certain things, and explain why they weren't a good idea and what I wish I had done. Or if I don't regret it, I say why.

It helps that I was a good kid and kind of a nerd, so I don't have a crazy wild past. I can honestly talk about why I didn't have sex until I graduated college, and why I don't regret that decision. (On the other hand, I can talk about drinking too much on occasion, and why that wasn't the best decision, so it's not like I was a total goody-two-shoes.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen has recently started asking questions that have me stumbling over my words. For example, did you ever try smoking? Pot? Etc....
Yikes. How honest do you get with them?

I said "yes I did, but not anymore." What's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

I say yes but that I that everyone I knew who used regularly ended up being pretty lazy and annoying.

[Anonymous]

I’m honest. And I can honestly say (and always do) how lucky I am that neither I nor any of my friends were alwvwr arrested, killed, or otherwise destroyed our futures. Then I remind the kids that because I did everything, they’ll get away with nothing.

[Anonymous]

I'm totally honest. DD15 knows I tried smoking a cigarette once, and how it burned my throat and left a terrible taste in my mouth. No big deal.

If she asks something about my s** life I tell her I won't talk to her about mine personally, but will answer her questions generally. If I do not feel she's old enough for something I tell her "Ask me when you're older."

[Anonymous]

I can be honest since the answer is no.
If it wasn't no, I wouldn't be as honest.

[Anonymous]

Totally honest, but I was pretty much goody two shoes. Still I tried a few things.

[Anonymous]

I won’t be honest about the extent of the drinking I did until he is much older. He is 13, and by the time I was his age I had already been drunk a few times. My social group partied pretty hard starting at a young age, and I just don’t want him to think that it’s an option for him. Fortunately he’s not free range and latchkey like so many of my friends and I were...

But I will answer his questions honestly when he’s older and I don’t think he will use my mistakes as an excuse for his own.

[Anonymous]

For me everything would be a no, because I was basically my parents' prisoner. However, if things had been otherwise, I would still tell the truth, and explain how that affected me and why I do not want my children to go that extent. Maybe try a little something at home under the parents' watchful eye, when he's a little older?

[Anonymous]

I was pretty boring so will answer honestly (didn't drink until college, tried pot a couple of times after college and didn't care for it), but DH, on the other hand, needs to figure this out because he did all kinds of stuff in high school and college (before we met).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For me everything would be a no, because I was basically my parents' prisoner. However, if things had been otherwise, I would still tell the truth, and explain how that affected me and why I do not want my children to go that extent. Maybe try a little something at home under the parents' watchful eye, when he's a little older?

This backfires as much as your parents’ strategy does.