for donor egg moms out there
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Anonymous
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Question for those of you with donor egg babies -
If we use DH sperm and a donor egg, and I carry/give birth to our DE baby, and later on down the road there is a divorce/custody battle, would DH get any kind of legal priority because he is the one genetically linked to the baby? |
Anonymous
| My understanding is no b/c you'll be the mom on the birth certificate. Most of the lawyers that do all the docs for donation will caveat that the law is unsettled, so I doubt you'd get a definitive answer from a lawyer. And it's a state by state issue anyway. I'm not worried and the whole infertility process certainly did no favors for my marriage, although we did work through it. |
Anonymous
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Absolutely not, you are the mom of record on the Birth Certificate.
However, I would not move forward with treatment if you are considering divorce. I thought fertility treatment was difficult, parenting is much harder. Good luck, OP. |
Anonymous
This is OP - I'm not considering a divorce 
I'm just worrying about things because when we did our Shady Grove consult with the therapist (a pre-req for doing the donor egg process with SGF), the therapist asked us if we had any concerns that he would have a genetic link and I would not. I'm not worried about it, and wasn't worried about it, but then I started thinking that perhaps the only way it might matter is if down the road there were a custody issue and if the genetic link would play a factor in that or not.... |
Anonymous
| Interesting. I’m the non-bio parent in a 2 mom family- I was able to do what is called a “second parent adoption” to protect my parental rights. I have been on the birth certificate from day 1. You might look at protecting yourself through that route. We used Jennifer Fairfax and were very happy with her. |
Anonymous
| The OP would be on the birth certificate as the mother anyways, right from day one. |
Anonymous
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Sure. So was I. Not to derail, but marriage grants a “presumed parentage” and because my wife and I are clearly unable to conceive without a donor, I protected myself by adopting my own children. I know it isn’t precisely the same, but it’s close.
Our lawyer suggested it as birth certificates aren’t seen in quite the same way legally now that DNA paternity/maternity can be proven. I’m only suggesting it as a way to protect herself if she’s truly worried about the genetic issue. I would assume the court would take into account that OP sustained the pregnancy and had her baby. And with what we are learning about epigenetics, she will shape the life of her baby in utero as well. |
Anonymous
This is a very specific situation you have PP. The question in this thread is if a woman gives birth to a child from donor eggs and husband's sperm, will husband have more rights in case of divorce. If you give birth, you can't adopt that child, you're his/her mother in the birth cert and legally. But what happens if there is a difficult custody battle and only one of the parents is genetically related to the child? |
Anonymous
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You write it into a contract. Your reproductive lawyer can help you do so at the time you're doing the donor contract.
You pre-agree, with your spouse, on some ground rules for parental rights, in the event of divorce. You may, for instance, agree that the child is equally both of yours, despite one parent not being genetically related. (We used both DE and a GC, and so had significant contractual paperwork covering various possibilities.) |
Anonymous
| thank you! |