Wants so much time with friends

[Anonymous]

This is a ridiculous question so please don't yell at me! My DS is obsessed with going to friend's houses recently (5th grade). This is beyond normal although gets exhausting with all of his asking. The ridiculous thing is how I feel -- My feelings get a little hurt that he doesn't want to be home more. And I know this is going to become much more the case as he gets older. I was more of a home body growing up - hung out with friends but also totally happy to hang out on my own and with my mom.

Do any of you feel a little bad when your child wants to be with friends sooo much? We've been super close and I feel that pulling away. Again normal but I need advice on how to not take it personally!

[Anonymous]

OP, my DS is also a social creature (and in 5th grade). What I do is schedule some dedicated family time/activity each week, and then try to arrange group outings with other families so I get some timing with him but he's also with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my DS is also a social creature (and in 5th grade). What I do is schedule some dedicated family time/activity each week, and then try to arrange group outings with other families so I get some timing with him but he's also with friends.

This is a good idea. And trust me, in a couple of years DS will be in the basement all the time online with friends playing video games and you'll be tearing your hair out that he *won't* get together with friends in person anymore!

[Anonymous]

I am sorry to say, you are pretty much chopped liver from here on out.

It sounds like you got some good advice already. Yeah. They prefer their friends. I got some good mileage out of the health club. He played tennis while I worked out, and then we would eat a light meal together. That plus the car ride, with a ban on all discussion about grades gave us what I needed.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is an extrovert and I am an introvert. My body hums happily when I'm home in my PJs petting the dog and reading a good book. But DD's body hums happily when she has just spent several hours with friends. She does something social five or six days a week generally.

You have to let go.
I make sure DD and I check in with each other, we talk regularly, and I meet her friends. But I let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is an extrovert and I am an introvert. My body hums happily when I'm home in my PJs petting the dog and reading a good book. But DD's body hums happily when she has just spent several hours with friends.

OP here - This is totally it PP! The reason I think it's harder is that he was never an extrovert until recently - quite the opposite - so I'm trying to get used to the more outgoing personality plus growing up. Thanks for the advice all.

[Anonymous]

Make a nice space for him to have his friends over.

[Anonymous]

My DD (5th grade) is also the same way, always wants to be with friends. I personally don’t mind because it means she’s out having fun and she won’t ask me to play a game with her, lol.

[Anonymous]

My comfort is that he's happy, it's developmentally appropriate and I'm glad he has nice friends. My 5th grader loves being with his friends but he's still snuggly and cuddly at times also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my DS is also a social creature (and in 5th grade). What I do is schedule some dedicated family time/activity each week, and then try to arrange group outings with other families so I get some timing with him but he's also with friends.

This is a good idea. And trust me, in a couple of years DS will be in the basement all the time online with friends playing video games and you'll be tearing your hair out that he *won't* get together with friends in person anymore!

Lol.

So true!

[Anonymous]

If you want to spend time with him, plan things to do. Being in the same house together with you without more just isn't that attractive to kids.