Terrified of mood stabilizers for DD17

[Anonymous]

I'd appreciate advice if your child has been on any mood stabilizers.

My DD17 has serious depression as well as inattentive ADHD and anxiety. She's had a full neuropsych workup, she sees 2 therapists and a psychiatrist, and she's tried every SSRI and SNRI under the sun to no avail. Her depression has been present for over 2 years.

Psych says DD won't be able to attend college next fall if her mental health doesn't improve, and doc suggested mood stabilizers. Everything I've read fills me with fear. The side effects are so pronounced. I'm worried about her physical health, including blood pressure and weight, and it seems severe to treat her with antipsychotic drugs.

I'm worried and scared.

[Anonymous]

Mom, I'd be worried and scared too. Have you considered getting a second opinion? A long time ago a pediatric dentist who was well regarded said my kindergartner's molar had to be removed with a bridge installed while waiting for permanent teeth to come in. It didn't sound right, and we went to get a second opinion. Second dentist was a specialist, and he didn't think the molar needed removal. He sent us to a pediatric dentist, who left the molar alone, and became our permanent childhood dentist. Doctors are human and don't always make good decisions like any other human. Sometimes it's good to get different perspectives on an issue to help you make an informed, prudent decision.

Sending you hugs, and wishing you good luck to you and your DD.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you’ve tried everything that was readily available with little success, and this is the next step. It may be the step that brings your daughter some relief, despite the possible side effects. It sounds as though this illness is affecting your daughter’s quality of life and limiting her future, and for me, that would be enough to try the stabilizers.

Also, what does your daughter think? She’s the one living with a painful illness.

[Anonymous]

Starting a new medication is not an irrevocable step in which your child becomes some sort of Walking Dead zombie never to be her former self.

If your child says to you "Mom, I don't like the way I've gained five pounds" or the two of you notice some other side effect or her doctor sees a rise in her cholesterol, you stop the medication. Much in the same way you would your own medications. But to deny her the possibility of feeling better because of your anxiety about side effects is in my opinion cruel and unreasonable. She's 17 and about to leave for college. At the very least, she should be consulted in this decision.

[Anonymous]

Sorry that your family is going through this. My child went through this too. DC was depressed, anxious, would not go to school. When at school would go to nurse and ask to come home. A change to mood stabilizer worked for us. This year DC goes to school, interacts and has fun with friends and classmates and is able to function day to day. I would say DC is 80-90 percent better than they were prior to medicine. There are still not great days from time to time but I feel like we have DC back. When we first started medicine DC was dizzy and had headaches. This went away. There was also some weight gain, but our child has not been eating before and this was positive to us. I was also nervous and spoke with my pediatrician who comfirmed what phychiartrist said. If you are not comfortable I agree with earlier poster to get second opinion. For us change was not overnight. Took about 3 months to get where we are. Hope things get better for your daughter soon. Best wishes to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Starting a new medication is not an irrevocable step in which your child becomes some sort of Walking Dead zombie never to be her former self.

If your child says to you "Mom, I don't like the way I've gained five pounds" or the two of you notice some other side effect or her doctor sees a rise in her cholesterol, you stop the medication. Much in the same way you would your own medications. But to deny her the possibility of feeling better because of your anxiety about side effects is in my opinion cruel and unreasonable. She's 17 and about to leave for college. At the very least, she should be consulted in this decision.

Agree with this. I resisted putting my DD on mood stabilizers for months as her behavior deteriorated drastically and when we were left with really no choice other than inpatient, I agreed. It has made a tremendous difference. No side effects yet, we are closely monitoring and I am very hopeful we can stay on a low dose of this for as long as we need it.

[Anonymous]

My niece struggled with depression, suicide and anxiety.

She has always been on increasing dosages of medicine and various cocktails.

I saw her recently after not seeing her in years. She is the best she has ever been, and is on the fewest meds she has ever been on. She exercises like crazy too which helps.

I am with the 2nd opinion person.

[Anonymous]

My son has been on two different ones. He has Bipolar II, anxiety, ADHD. It's really a necessity for him. We started just about a year ago and then about a month ago switched up to a different one. They terrify me too, but as PP pointed out, what really is the option? I know at least for us that if we don't get the depression under control (and my son's depression is severe and intractable), he is going to kill himself. In fact, he's already had a serious attempt, but lived through it.

I understand how you feel, OP. For me, after the fear and becoming resigned to having to do it, I feel so controlled by and at the mercy of my son's mental illness. But, neither you nor I can let these feelings control our decisions.

One thing I did read in your post is hope for your daughter. That really is not the case with my son. No one would ever even consider mentioning the words college and my son in the same sentence even though he is gifted and had straight As before mental illness took its hold. All they talk about for my son is keeping him alive and everyone is excited if he actually goes to class even though he does absolutely nothing once he gets there. So, that's really something to hold on to for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has been on two different ones. He has Bipolar II, anxiety, ADHD. It's really a necessity for him. We started just about a year ago and then about a month ago switched up to a different one. They terrify me too, but as PP pointed out, what really is the option? I know at least for us that if we don't get the depression under control (and my son's depression is severe and intractable), he is going to kill himself. In fact, he's already had a serious attempt, but lived through it.

I understand how you feel, OP. For me, after the fear and becoming resigned to having to do it, I feel so controlled by and at the mercy of my son's mental illness. But, neither you nor I can let these feelings control our decisions.

One thing I did read in your post is hope for your daughter. That really is not the case with my son. No one would ever even consider mentioning the words college and my son in the same sentence even though he is gifted and had straight As before mental illness took its hold. All they talk about for my son is keeping him alive and everyone is excited if he actually goes to class even though he does absolutely nothing once he gets there. So, that's really something to hold on to for you.

Np. I just want to send you hugs, pp. I hope the new meds help.

Op, get a second opinion and be open to what you're hearing.

[Anonymous]

Mine was on Abilify short term, and it worked. There were no side effects.

[Anonymous]

Second opinion.

My advice, for what it's worth, is also to fiddle with her ADHD meds. They could be having side effects, or not be strong enough for her to function, which could explain the severity of her depression and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

PP again, with a recommendation: Dr. Hemanth in North Bethesda. She was great for my son.

[Anonymous]

What mood stabilizers are you worried about? Also, have you tried antidepressants other than SNRIs and SSRIs? These include tricyclics, tetracyclics, Wellbutrin and Buspar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has been on two different ones. He has Bipolar II, anxiety, ADHD. It's really a necessity for him. We started just about a year ago and then about a month ago switched up to a different one. They terrify me too, but as PP pointed out, what really is the option? I know at least for us that if we don't get the depression under control (and my son's depression is severe and intractable), he is going to kill himself. In fact, he's already had a serious attempt, but lived through it.

I understand how you feel, OP. For me, after the fear and becoming resigned to having to do it, I feel so controlled by and at the mercy of my son's mental illness. But, neither you nor I can let these feelings control our decisions.

One thing I did read in your post is hope for your daughter. That really is not the case with my son. No one would ever even consider mentioning the words college and my son in the same sentence even though he is gifted and had straight As before mental illness took its hold. All they talk about for my son is keeping him alive and everyone is excited if he actually goes to class even though he does absolutely nothing once he gets there. So, that's really something to hold on to for you.

Np. I just want to send you hugs, pp. I hope the new meds help.

Op, get a second opinion and be open to what you're hearing.

PP here. Thank you. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all for your help. My heart goes out to all of you struggling with these worries. Yes, I need to remember that my DD has a way forward. She's had suicidal ideation and come close, but she's never made an attempt.

She is on Wellbutrin now (helps a bit with the anxiety), and she hasn't been taking her ADD meds. Do you think ADD meds would help the depression? She's loath to take them because she always wants to power through.

She's worried about mood stabilizers and would prefer not to take them, but of course she wants to feel better. Her regular psych has a wonderful bond with her, so getting a second opinion might seem threatening to DD, but I agree it's a good next step. I'll look into Dr. Hemanth.