Do you really split every single agreed upon cost?
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Anonymous
| My DH and his ex and I all get along well. Even good really. But there is one tiny thing that bothers me and Im curious if anyone else would be peeved. They agree to split things like childcare, sports, tutoring, clothes, etc. Any kid related costs is just 50/50. We always follow this but the big things but if my step son needs soccer socks on a night we have him I just go buy him the socks. Ex will buy the socks, take a pic of the receipt, send it to us, and tell is "works out to 4.77 for you and 4.77 for me." Literally. We have had texts with these types of amounts. I just kinda feel like anything under 20 bucks should just be absorbed on both ends. She is not financially struggling. DH shrugs it off and just says "her personality is super precise in everything she does, its just her." Would anything else be annoyed/ rubbed the wrong way about this? I know its a small issue thats why I would never bring it up and just am curious about random anonymous board opinions. |
Anonymous
| do you pay child support? I mean, it seems weird regardless, but less weird if there's no child support. |
Anonymous
| I have 50/50, no child support, and make maybe a little less than half what my ex does. I couldn't live like this. We agree who will pay big expenses, but rarely exchange money. There's been once or twice when my ex paid for a bunch of camps and I gave her a check for some of that money. However, I do have friend who keeps a shared spreadsheet with her ex and they venmo back and forth for every expense. If it's going to be that down to the penny, my preference would be shared account where you each deposit a set amount of money each month and have agreed upon expenses for which you draw down. |
Anonymous
| My child support agreement with my ex (court enforced) says which expenses are split 50/50, and yes I hold him accountable for every one of those. He pays half of childcare, half of extracurricular activities, and half of medical expenses. Every time, even if its a $5 prescription. |
Anonymous
| I've heard of both types of agreements. |
Anonymous
I would take your DH's word that it's just her personality and let it go. I have a brother like this, although it's amusing not annoying, since we don't share expenses. If someone asks what time it is, he will say 4:03 when anyone else would say 4:00. When calculating tip at a restaurant, he would come up with precise 20%, excluding tax, when anyone else would round it to next dollar. How long did it take you to drive here? Oh, it took 4 hours 23 minutes. Just his personality. He remembers numbers really well. It's been helpful on occasion but mostly it's just funny. Maybe your DH could come up with an agreement with her that you'll just let de minimus amounts < $20 go, or else you can just learn to live with it and not take it personally. |
Anonymous
| Would I be peeved? Yes. Would I do anything about it? Nah. |
Anonymous
| Can't you both add it up at the end of the month? Do you have to pay her constantly? |
Anonymous
I hope you're not paying for your stepson's socks! |
Anonymous
| I would be keeping a chart and sending her all expenses too. I agree with you and would just buy the kid what he needs but if that's how she wins to do it, then do it her way. |
Anonymous
If the kid needs socks, he needs socks. Who cares if Dad or stepmom pays? I wouldn't think twice about paying. But, she needs to send mom the receipt too. |
Anonymous
THis, each keep a chart, once a month send it to each other and who ever owes pays. |
Anonymous
| This would annoy me but people are weird and different about money and she is following the agreement. Maybe consider a shared credit card you all use for kid expenses, so you can just split it at the end of the month? Or if she would want to keep/check receipts, etc, maybe you can praise how good she is about and see if she will agree to do some monthly balancing with an expenses app where you can all just snap a photo of receipts but only deal with tallying up monthly or quarterly? What happens now when you get that text and owe her $4.77? Do you send a check or use some kind of online thing? The expenses app would work for me because 1) if I don't care and don't snap the photo of the receipt, no harm and 2) your share becomes a monthly bill and not a random, annoying intrusion. |
Anonymous
| No. DH and I both have kids from our exes. It's not a big deal who pays for what in terms of the little things. |
Anonymous
| We’re supposed to split certain things, but I just end up paying myself and he almost never reimburses me. I barely care any more. In six years I’m free of him. |