Summer b-day - Is it better to be the youngest child in the class or the oldest?

[Anonymous]

The issue is that if she is the youngest, she can have difficulty and if she is the oldest, she might be bored. What are your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I'd err on the side of oldest if there is any concern at all. Better to accelerate if need be, than to struggle or repeat a grade. What do her preschool teachers say?

[Anonymous]

Haven't talked to her teacher yet, will be soon. I was told by few private schools that I can apply to P-K this year and if she does not get in do the same next year. This year she will be the youngest and next year will be the oldest. I think it is probably better to be the oldest, but just wanted to get opinions of others.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has one on the older side and one on the younger, and both of them girls, I would agree -- go with being older. She'll develop leadership abilities much more easily. Mine are 11 and 15, so I've seen this play out over the years.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above. Think beyond the next couple of years -- do you want all her friends to be driving when she's just 15? The teen years could through some serious curves. And a good school won't LET her be bored at any stage, regardless of how smart she is!

[Anonymous]

Meant THROW some serious curves....

[Anonymous]

My husband and I were both the youngest in our classes, and we both liked it. We were both very high achievers all through school. My daughter has a late summer birthday and we won't hold her back unless there is a very compelling and specific reason to do so.

[Anonymous]

My son has a July birthday and I don't plan to hold him back either. I think he might have more of a complex, if he thought that he was held back a year.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, when you turned 5 you went to kindergarten--end of story--and all of us turned out just fine. My sister and I both have September birthdays and we didn't have any issues.

I think people in D.C. and NY are just doing this, so their kids can be more competitive because they will be bigger and older than everyone else. By that reasoning, why don't we just enroll TEN year olds in kindergarten? It seems pretty selfish to me to force your competitive leanings onto a CHILD.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter because you will always question your decision.

My DD is the youngest in her class. Every time she does well I pat myself on the back that we made the right decision to send her on time. Every time she struggles I bite my lip and think we should have waited. Then I realize taht that's basically life - some things come easily and some things are a struggle. I have come to like that she needs to work a bit for things and not sit back thinking that everything is going to come more easily.

Does that help at all?

[Anonymous]

I would read the current literature on redshirting before I made the decision to hold back my child if there's no clear developmental reason to do so. Developmental delays or significant immaturity are one thing, but in the absence of those, I'd take care in making the decision to delay school entry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter because you will always question your decision.

My DD is the youngest in her class. Every time she does well I pat myself on the back that we made the right decision to send her on time. Every time she struggles I bite my lip and think we should have waited. Then I realize taht that's basically life - some things come easily and some things are a struggle. I have come to like that she needs to work a bit for things and not sit back thinking that everything is going to come more easily.

Does that help at all?

Not the OP but this is a very good and honest answer. Yes, sometimes I feel we made exactly the right choice but then there are moments when it is all to obvious that she is young!

[Anonymous]

I was redshirted as a girl and HATED it. I really wish my parents had sent me on in K instead of holding me back. In my case there was no compelling reason other than my parent's fears that I would struggle as the youngest. In truth I struggled as a redshirted child.

[Anonymous]

A lot of the available literature suggest it's good to hold a boy back and let the girl move forward. For a boy -- it always helps to be taller/bigger. Check out the book "Outliers".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was redshirted as a girl and HATED it. I really wish my parents had sent me on in K instead of holding me back. In my case there was no compelling reason other than my parent's fears that I would struggle as the youngest. In truth I struggled as a redshirted child.

Me, too. I was bored until I got to college.