Old FWB said he can’t see me because he loved me.

[Anonymous]

I’m recently out of a year long relationship and texted an old FWB who I had been sleeping with on and off for 3 years prior to the relationship. He was always responsive and available whenever I contacted him, he never slept over, never asked me out on a date, never had me on social media and kept his private life very personal. He rarely divulged any personal information and our contact was usually quite explicit.

I texted him the other day asking how he’s doing and if he is free to meet up. We haven’t talked in over a year. He said he would love nothing more than to see me but will “always” have a soft spot for me, loved me, and can’t see me anymore.

I can’t reciprocate those feelings, but there was a time when we first started booking up that I had some interest. It makes me kind of sad that he’s moving on.

[Anonymous]

'sup?

[Anonymous]

He's smart to protect his heart. You need to move on.

[Anonymous]

Do you want a relationship with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want a relationship with him?

No, and I didn’t get the impression that he wants one. He was really sweet but indicated he wants to move on now. He could be dating someone, I don’t know.

I think it’s just sad wondering what could have been, and I always thought he was so keen to see me just because of the physical attraction. I feel kind of bad because he was such a good FWB because he was always available. I think he may have been always available because he had feelings for me and was jumping at the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Acknowledge your sadness, let him be, and move forward. Nothing more to do or dwell on. You cannot use him for comfort or sex at this juncture in your lives. Mourn the loss of your recent relationship and when you're done, go find someone else if that's what you need.

[Anonymous]

maybe he's seeing someone. i however am not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want a relationship with him?

No, and I didn’t get the impression that he wants one. He was really sweet but indicated he wants to move on now. He could be dating someone, I don’t know.

I think it’s just sad wondering what could have been, and I always thought he was so keen to see me just because of the physical attraction. I feel kind of bad because he was such a good FWB because he was always available. I think he may have been always available because he had feelings for me and was jumping at the opportunity.

Be happy you had years of time spent with him and he cared about you. I know how he feels, because I am in a similiar situation.

You never know he could Boomerang back to you this long holiday weekend!

[Anonymous]

^^^^ I highly doubt he will be in a festive mood on Columbus Day.

It’s a pseudo holiday because schools are open as usual & the post office will deliver mail on that day.

Nice suggestion though.
You get an A++ for trying though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m recently out of a year long relationship and texted an old FWB who I had been sleeping with on and off for 3 years prior to the relationship. He was always responsive and available whenever I contacted him, he never slept over, never asked me out on a date, never had me on social media and kept his private life very personal. He rarely divulged any personal information and our contact was usually quite explicit.

I texted him the other day asking how he’s doing and if he is free to meet up. We haven’t talked in over a year. He said he would love nothing more than to see me but will “always” have a soft spot for me, loved me, and can’t see me anymore.

I can’t reciprocate those feelings, but there was a time when we first started booking up that I had some interest. It makes me kind of sad that he’s moving on.

There are a lot of possibles as to why...one of which is simple...he is over the FWB scene. Another might be that he is either in, or seeking, a relationship that has a future. But assuming, based on what you wrote, that it's his feelings of affection etc. that he has for you is his barrier.

[Anonymous]

Why not just find another fwb rather than recycling old ones? Was this guy special somehow?

[Anonymous]

Makes sense. The whole point of a FWB is that you get the good stuff of a relationship (sex, companionship) without the strings and the messy emotions.

I wouldn't be able to do the FWB thing if I wanted more from someone than they wanted to give me. That's a recipe for heartbreak right there.

You might ask yourself why you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him. That feels like something that could be explored. I had a FWB who was in love with me, and I felt a bit of that toward him. But he was kind of unreliable and very flaky with money in a shady entrepreneurial sort of way. I didn't think I could trust him financially. I'm glad I obeyed that instinct because he later became a huge Trump supporter and that wouldn't have worked for me.

[Anonymous]

I got $5 says dude just isn't interested and made up the "I can't see you because I love you" line to let you down easy.
It's been a year.
You honestly think he's been sitting around celibate staring at the stars at night every night for the past 12 months with a single tear in his eye wishing things had been different between you two?
Seriously?

[Anonymous]

The old "it's not you, it's me" line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just find another fwb rather than recycling old ones? Was this guy special somehow?

He’s probably really well endowed.