2nd grade boy only plays with girls

[Anonymous]

Help me not to worry that my son will not be teased because he only plays with girls at school. He's a soft-spoken and gentle kid that doesn't really like rough play or team sports. I feel like I'm being sexist, but I worry about how boys and girls naturally sort of separate at this age and he'll be all on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help me not to worry that my son will not be teased because he only plays with girls at school. He's a soft-spoken and gentle kid that doesn't really like rough play or team sports. I feel like I'm being sexist, but I worry about how boys and girls naturally sort of separate at this age and he'll be all on his own.

We're in the same boat. DS is in the third grade now, and it gets a little harder because the separation between boy and girl play is even more pronounced. The girls seem to only want to hang out with the girls, and the boys only with the boys. Also, parties are more gender focus and boy isn't invited, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me not to worry that my son will not be teased because he only plays with girls at school. He's a soft-spoken and gentle kid that doesn't really like rough play or team sports. I feel like I'm being sexist, but I worry about how boys and girls naturally sort of separate at this age and he'll be all on his own.

We're in the same boat. DS is in the third grade now, and it gets a little harder because the separation between boy and girl play is even more pronounced. The girls seem to only want to hang out with the girls, and the boys only with the boys. Also, parties are more gender focus and boy isn't invited, sadly.

OP here. Has your son been upset about this situation? My son, at this point, doesn't seem to care too much, but there have been some changes. Already this year he's been invited to multiple all boys parties and just seems so uncomfortable. I want to help him to feel comfortable playing with boys and girls. I just haven't figured out how yet.

[Anonymous]

I have a son in third grade who I would say mostly plays with girls and prefers to play with girls. He does have several one-on-one boy friendships and can definitely make it work with a large group of boys. It's interesting to watch him adapt when he needs to. He does play team sports and gets along well with all the boys in those settings.

He also doesn't like the roughness of boys. He's a gentle kid and I think he doesn't like how wild large groups of boys can get. He does not like when boys are jumping all over him and rough housing. He's also a rule follower and he has told me that the boys are constantly getting in trouble and he doesn't like that.

I had the worries you have. But he's really been fine. A lot of girls really seem to like him and want to be friends with him. I don't know if he's a novelty case or what, but he has plenty of friends. The way I look at it, good for him that he has the confidence to just play with who he wants.

I would say don't create a problem until you have one. If he's playing with girls and he's happy, then go with it.

[Anonymous]

I would only jump in if, and when, he feels it's a problem that needs your guidance, if ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me not to worry that my son will not be teased because he only plays with girls at school. He's a soft-spoken and gentle kid that doesn't really like rough play or team sports. I feel like I'm being sexist, but I worry about how boys and girls naturally sort of separate at this age and he'll be all on his own.

We're in the same boat. DS is in the third grade now, and it gets a little harder because the separation between boy and girl play is even more pronounced. The girls seem to only want to hang out with the girls, and the boys only with the boys. Also, parties are more gender focus and boy isn't invited, sadly.

OP here. Has your son been upset about this situation? My son, at this point, doesn't seem to care too much, but there have been some changes. Already this year he's been invited to multiple all boys parties and just seems so uncomfortable. I want to help him to feel comfortable playing with boys and girls. I just haven't figured out how yet.

What about Boy Scouts OP? An alternative to team sports that might get him around more boys.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I may be projecting. My husband and I both grew up in a small, blue-collar town where gender roles were very strict. Girls played with dolls etc at recess, boys played football. There didn't seem to be accepting of any variation. Now we are in much for the open-minded and diverse community. His teachers tell me he's very well mannered and gets along seamlessly with other kids. I guess I should try and not worry too much.

[Anonymous]

My quiet, non-athletic teen used to do this in elementary. When he tried getting included in a group of rambunctious boys, he ended up getting bullied and the teacher had to intervene. Now he's in in middle school and socializes with both boys and girls. In a way it's almost as if he got a leg up while in elementary on how to talk to girls, because some of his friends still have difficulty in that area.

[Anonymous]

My 3rd grade DD will only play with boys so kind of the same issues. But she's also not a team sports type so doesn't want to play soccer at recess, so ends up by herself a lot, usually finding a cool dead bug or something like that. What has helped her find friends is signing her up for after school activities that are co-ed but calmer than team sports, like coding club, chess club and group tennis classes. Maybe your son would enjoy something like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me not to worry that my son will not be teased because he only plays with girls at school. He's a soft-spoken and gentle kid that doesn't really like rough play or team sports. I feel like I'm being sexist, but I worry about how boys and girls naturally sort of separate at this age and he'll be all on his own.

We're in the same boat. DS is in the third grade now, and it gets a little harder because the separation between boy and girl play is even more pronounced. The girls seem to only want to hang out with the girls, and the boys only with the boys. Also, parties are more gender focus and boy isn't invited, sadly.

OP here. Has your son been upset about this situation? My son, at this point, doesn't seem to care too much, but there have been some changes. Already this year he's been invited to multiple all boys parties and just seems so uncomfortable. I want to help him to feel comfortable playing with boys and girls. I just haven't figured out how yet.

What about Boy Scouts OP? An alternative to team sports that might get him around more boys.

He's not interested in Boy Scouts or other team sports and is already in karate, swimming and piano. He also takes an engineering class after school. I have thought about these activities myself, but he has no interest at all. He is however, thriving in his current activities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My quiet, non-athletic teen used to do this in elementary. When he tried getting included in a group of rambunctious boys, he ended up getting bullied and the teacher had to intervene. Now he's in in middle school and socializes with both boys and girls. In a way it's almost as if he got a leg up while in elementary on how to talk to girls, because some of his friends still have difficulty in that area.

Yes, this. Eventually it's a good thing.

It's also a good sign that he is comfortable in his own skin and not a follower.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone ever try to encourage more play dates with other boys or talk to their sons about it? I'm concerned this will give them a complex.

[Anonymous]

1st grade DD is very much like your son in temperament and only likes to play with boys Apparently most of the girls don't like to run around and play games (most just like to swing). She'd rather be pretending to be an explorer, chasing others around, etc.

I got along better with boys growing up as well, so I'm not surprised. Kids get teased for anything and everything, I don't think this is something to sweat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone ever try to encourage more play dates with other boys or talk to their sons about it? I'm concerned this will give them a complex.

I think you could encourage friendship with boys, but I wouldn't talk to him about it as in, you need to be friends with more boys. I do think that would give him the idea that he's doing something wrong, when he's not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1st grade DD is very much like your son in temperament and only likes to play with boys Apparently most of the girls don't like to run around and play games (most just like to swing). She'd rather be pretending to be an explorer, chasing others around, etc.

I got along better with boys growing up as well, so I'm not surprised. Kids get teased for anything and everything, I don't think this is something to sweat.

OP here-your DD sounds exactly like the girls my son has hit it off with. Smart and adventurous. His best friend, who is the little girl next door, shares his same love of science and takes martial arts with him.