Forum Index
»
Infertility Support and Discussion
Who do you tell...
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| ...that your child was born using fertility treatments or that you are trying to have a child that way? I have one child conceived via IUI and am trying for another now. While I don't talk about it openly (I'm generally a rather private person), it never occurred to me to try and hide it. I'm starting to think I should. After reading comments on the NYT article and some of the posts on this forum about that article, I'm concerned my child will be judged for how she was conceived. I don't care much about being judged myself- I'm am adult and feel very comfortable with my choices. When it comes to my kid, it's totally a different matter. I'm curious how others are dealing with this issue? Thanks. |
Anonymous
|
i started out telling no one. then all of the white lies about why i'm not drinking & my every other day doctors appointments (that also mysteriously fall on weekends) started getting really old and stressful over a year and a half. i find it less stressful just to let my close friends and family know what is going on, and i also tell them to please respect us, and don't ask us any questions and that i would bring up the subject.
and i don't care who knows my child will hopefully be conceived via IVF. more power to fertility treatments, and i am happy to let people know so i can share my experience because ttc w/ fertility treatments can be so stressful and isolating..... 
|
Anonymous
This has been my approach as well. All my friends and family know about my fertility treatments, and if anyone else should happen to learn about them by chance, I couldn't care less. That said, it's obviously not information I would volunteer to anyone I didn't know well, nor would I feel obliged to share it even if someone asked point-blank ("Gee, you're 42 and you had a baby?") How I get pregnant is my business. But I agree with PP that sharing it with friends and family has made it easier. |
Anonymous
|
I share it with everyone. I really have no problem with it and matter of a fact, I like to share because I think IF is very isolating, so it may help someone or help bring some light into the issue. I don't' go through all the gore details, but I do mention I got pregnant thanks to fertility treatment after years of ttc unsuccessfully.
If some people don't like the "idea" or make some comment (never happened) it wouldn't bother me in the least! Like pp, I couldn't care less what people think about my family planning choices and decisions. |
Anonymous
| Personally, I think if more people shared the fact that they were going through infertility it would help take away the stigma of it (celebrities included).... |
Anonymous
| I conceived my DS with IUI, and I am very free with telling people. I don't offer it out, but I don't hide it either. Most of my coworkers know as I matter of fact. I don't think it's any big deal. And if people do, then I could not care less about offending them. |
Anonymous
| Maybe I am naive, but why should it be offensive to be using fertility treatments to get pregnant? Really, I think I am in one of my "wtf" moods, or something, but no one should be judging my choice of how to become a parent. As for telling people, my only concern would be the same as in telling someone I am trying to conceive without treatments - I don't want to have to put up with being asked how it's going all the time. |
Anonymous
|
We're sharing with some close friends and family, not with others. Those that are supportive, understanding and respectful we share with. My mother and stepfather, who refer to their first two grandkids as "my adopted grandkids" know nothing and, we hope, never will as they are judging and rude. I don't want strangers or anyone close to hear "my fertility conceived grandchild" or other nonsense. I figure we're in a vulnerable spot (and who isn't when you're TTC?) and negativity is not welcome. Remember that your kid will have to live with this stuff longer than you do, and while 99% of people support you and then ignore the conception once the baby's here, there's always someone who is a jerk, and possibly, kin too.
|
Anonymous
| Currently trying with IUI and have told close friends and family. But my point in telling them is that I want to share news with a special few that we are trying, it isn't a matter of discussing infertility. If have success, I wouldn't hide it but not sure why people would want to know how I got pregnant. I don't ask people how many times they had sex or what positions they did to get pregnant, so not sure why would come up that sperm got up there a different way. |
Anonymous
| I tell anyone who asks for a good reason....especially if they are female friends or friends of friends. I wish I had know so many people were going through this when we started. I like to share our story to help others feel less alone and to be a resourse when I can. |
Anonymous
| Like the PPs, I also tell anyone who has a good reason. I have an IVF baby (who's literally still a baby) so he doesn't yet know how he was conceived and I'm not sure when we'll tell him and what age is appropriate, but eventually we will (just no reason to hide it). Our family and friends know. I have no problem discussing it with others who have a good reason. Especially women who are trying and need advice about how to go the treatment route--it's (obviously) a tough thing and if my experience can at all reassure someone else or encourage them, then great. |
Anonymous
| I have older kids (12 and 14) conceived with IVF and they are aware of their beginnings and they have a keen interest in science because of the incredible technology that helped get them here. I have shared my story with many of my friends and acquaintances that had an interest in infertility, and I have only encountered one insensitive person that said IVF was wrong because of their religious beliefs. |
Anonymous
| I have fraternal twins and so the vast marjority of people we know/meet likely come to that conclusion anyhow! So, so many poeple ask - "do twins run in your family?"...I was pretty open with people I was close with but co-workers etc did not know. |
Anonymous
| We also have fraternal twins, but we're a 2 mom family also (though my partner did struggle w/ infertility, not just lack of sperm in the house). I imagine people assume, but I don't go into details especially with strangers or even coworkers. |
Anonymous
| During the six months visiting the clinic, I ran into three colleagues including my assistance! So I guess there is no secret in the office. |