Question about restraint at school

[Anonymous]

I'd like to get opinions from others on this board to figure out if my reaction is out of line on something that happened to my child today. My young elementary school aged child started at a special needs school this year, and the school uses seclusion and restraint - this is new to us coming from a public school that used neither. Today my child used profanity more than once in the classroom, and after being removed from the classroom slapped the arm of the adult who guided them out of the classroom. My child was then put into a hold for ten minutes, and according to the report my child cried throughout the hold. After they were let go, staff observed red marks on my child's arms, and the marks were still visible ten minutes later. They were gone by a second check thirty minutes later.

Here are my questions, for those who have experience with restraint:

Do restraints usually leave a mark? I am horrified by this, especially since the administrator who described what they call restraint as "hugging a child while their arms are crossed over their own body."

How long does a restraint typically last?

Would what happened today be cause for restraint at your child's school/your school if you are a staff member?

Thanks for your help making sense of this. I am angry and emotional right now and I'd like to get some outside input before I speak with school staff. Let me be clear that I do not want my child to hit anyone at school and I don't want them to use bad language, but I also don't want them to be held so hard by school staff that they have marks on their body.

[Anonymous]

Not ok. Take pictures and speak to the school about it. Was child continuing to hit or one hit. They don't need a 10 minute restraint for one hit, ongoing hitting or going to hurt themselves, yes, but not one hit and bad language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not ok. Take pictures and speak to the school about it. Was child continuing to hit or one hit. They don't need a 10 minute restraint for one hit, ongoing hitting or going to hurt themselves, yes, but not one hit and bad language.

OP here - there are no marks for me to take pictures of, they're described in a report the school sent home to us. It sounds like there were a few slaps on the arm in the hallway. I have requested a meeting to get more information and to voice my concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok. Take pictures and speak to the school about it. Was child continuing to hit or one hit. They don't need a 10 minute restraint for one hit, ongoing hitting or going to hurt themselves, yes, but not one hit and bad language.

OP here - there are no marks for me to take pictures of, they're described in a report the school sent home to us. It sounds like there were a few slaps on the arm in the hallway. I have requested a meeting to get more information and to voice my concerns.

They probably aren't going to tell you anything. A 10 minute hold if the child was calm and just crying seems extreme. Do they behave that way at home? If not, I'd be concerned about what set them off.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned if your child is hitting staff at school.

Was this hold done somewhere with more than one adult and cameras so there is not he said/she said?

Maybe ask to see if there is footage so you can see whether or not your child was out of control.

Teachers and schools have to have some tools to deal with a kid who is violent and out of control (hitting, throwing desks, biting, spitting, etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned if your child is hitting staff at school.

Was this hold done somewhere with more than one adult and cameras so there is not he said/she said?

Maybe ask to see if there is footage so you can see whether or not your child was out of control.

Teachers and schools have to have some tools to deal with a kid who is violent and out of control (hitting, throwing desks, biting, spitting, etc)

OP here. I AM concerned that my child hit staff at school - but I am also concerned that my child was restrained so hard they had red marks on them for somewhere between 10-30 minutes. There were other adults present and I do not know if it was an area where there was a camera.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok. Take pictures and speak to the school about it. Was child continuing to hit or one hit. They don't need a 10 minute restraint for one hit, ongoing hitting or going to hurt themselves, yes, but not one hit and bad language.

OP here - there are no marks for me to take pictures of, they're described in a report the school sent home to us. It sounds like there were a few slaps on the arm in the hallway. I have requested a meeting to get more information and to voice my concerns.

They probably aren't going to tell you anything. A 10 minute hold if the child was calm and just crying seems extreme. Do they behave that way at home? If not, I'd be concerned about what set them off.

OP here - no, child does not hit at home.

[Anonymous]

I'm a former CPI trainer.

Restraint should be used as a last resort when two criteria are met.

1) The child's behavior is in immediate ongoing danger to themselves or others.

2) There is no other way to address the situation (e.g. you can't back off them to give them space, because they keep coming at you, or you have a valid concern that they'll run someplace unsafe like traffic or towards another child they want to hit).

and is should only be used as long as the above criteria continue to be met. In my experience with younger kids, that's usually a few seconds, maybe a minute. It's very rare for a kid to continue to struggle and aggress for 10 minutes, and for there not to be another solution (e.g. switching out for a safe adult, getting the other child or object that made it an unsafe situation out of there) within 10 minutes.

I would be concerned that 1 and 2 were not really met, or that the restraint didn't stop as soon as it was no longer needed. To me, it sounds like they used restraint as a punishment which is never OK.

On the other hand, I know I've had transient red marks on my arms after holding a child, and I've seen them on kids I've held. The reality is if someone is struggling to get out of a hold, you're going to need your hands to be firm enough that they can't push through, and pushing against something firm causes a mark. To me, the red marks would be less worrying than the 10 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a former CPI trainer.

Restraint should be used as a last resort when two criteria are met.

1) The child's behavior is in immediate ongoing danger to themselves or others.

2) There is no other way to address the situation (e.g. you can't back off them to give them space, because they keep coming at you, or you have a valid concern that they'll run someplace unsafe like traffic or towards another child they want to hit).

and is should only be used as long as the above criteria continue to be met. In my experience with younger kids, that's usually a few seconds, maybe a minute. It's very rare for a kid to continue to struggle and aggress for 10 minutes, and for there not to be another solution (e.g. switching out for a safe adult, getting the other child or object that made it an unsafe situation out of there) within 10 minutes.

I would be concerned that 1 and 2 were not really met, or that the restraint didn't stop as soon as it was no longer needed. To me, it sounds like they used restraint as a punishment which is never OK.

On the other hand, I know I've had transient red marks on my arms after holding a child, and I've seen them on kids I've held. The reality is if someone is struggling to get out of a hold, you're going to need your hands to be firm enough that they can't push through, and pushing against something firm causes a mark. To me, the red marks would be less worrying than the 10 minutes.

OP here, this is really helpful, thank you for chiming in. I really don't know much about restraint and the school says their school are CPI trained so your input is especially helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok. Take pictures and speak to the school about it. Was child continuing to hit or one hit. They don't need a 10 minute restraint for one hit, ongoing hitting or going to hurt themselves, yes, but not one hit and bad language.

OP here - there are no marks for me to take pictures of, they're described in a report the school sent home to us. It sounds like there were a few slaps on the arm in the hallway. I have requested a meeting to get more information and to voice my concerns.

They probably aren't going to tell you anything. A 10 minute hold if the child was calm and just crying seems extreme. Do they behave that way at home? If not, I'd be concerned about what set them off.

OP here - no, child does not hit at home.

I would be concerned if this is the right environment. Was he hitting at his last school?

[Anonymous]

NP here. Just the word restraint is a huge red flag for me. And something seems off about 10 mins and a person hugging someone’s arms over themselves. The sheer physical energy to sustain that for ten full minutes is... a lot.

[Anonymous]

You are not supposed to cross the kid’s arms-you arexsupposed to cross your arms. They need an area where the kid can calm without being held. A restraint should last only as long as needed for safety. I’ve worked with ED kids for 25 years and this doesn’t sound right. I would have a lot of questions about what set the child off and what strategies were tried before physical restraint. The kid hitting is not okay, but this program does not sound very professional to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not supposed to cross the kid’s arms-you arexsupposed to cross your arms. They need an area where the kid can calm without being held. A restraint should last only as long as needed for safety. I’ve worked with ED kids for 25 years and this doesn’t sound right. I would have a lot of questions about what set the child off and what strategies were tried before physical restraint. The kid hitting is not okay, but this program does not sound very professional to me.

I'm the CPI trainer above, and I'm not aware of a program that involves crossing the adult's arms. The risk of positional asphyxiation comes from pressure on the chest, combined with distress, and an adult's arms crossed over a child's chest would be unsafe. Generally, with a CPI hold for a small kid, the kid's arms are crossed and their hands are in their armpits, with the adult's hands circling their wrists.

Otherwise, I agree with you that there are lots of red flags here that make me think that the school used this restraint punitively, rather than because of safety concerns, and that other strategies weren't use to calm the child and reduce the duration of the hold, or avoid it altogether. I agree that it sounds like they are not very professional.

I will also say, as someone who has worked with young kids with ED for year too, that the presence of a seclusion room for children, is a big red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you for all of your replies. I really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned that the unnecessary use of restraint would breech your child’s sense of trust and safety in that school setting and further escalate situations in the future.