Why do people mainly men do this?

[Anonymous]

Have a crush on a woman for months. Refuse to make a move even when she’s made it clear the interest is mutual and then get all hurt and pouty when she moves on to someone else? I told him you snooze you lose. He said I don’t get which maybe I don’t because I haven’t dated in over a decade and I am not a guy.

Care to explain? Because I’m tired of hearing from my younger brother about this situation.

[Anonymous]

I recently read an article about how American young men have become more risk-adverse and the impact it is having on all aspects of life, including romantic relationships. One factor considered was social media. There’s a fear of online ridicule for being turned down. Some young men are deciding to wait for young women to make the first move. That’s fine as long as he realizes that his love interest might choose to move on instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently read an article about how American young men have become more risk-adverse and the impact it is having on all aspects of life, including romantic relationships. One factor considered was social media. There’s a fear of online ridicule for being turned down. Some young men are deciding to wait for young women to make the first move. That’s fine as long as he realizes that his love interest might choose to move on instead.

Yes. Op here and I’ve heard the same. I guess it’s hard for me to relate because he is over a decade younger than I am. I’m just tired of the sulking.

[Anonymous]

Have you blatantly told him what you told us? You'd be doing the younger generation of women a service if so.

Say to your brother, "Brother, if you like a woman and want to date her, call her up [or at least text but calling is better] and say, 'Hey, would you like to go out to dinner sometime?' Then plan a time and a place at a nice restaurant, pick up the bill, and then ask her out again if you want to see her again."

It really is that simple.

[Anonymous]

It's not just the younger generation. Its older guys too. I think even more so with the once divorced, twice shy crowd.

[Anonymous]

I assume neither of them is married, since that could be holding him back if either of them is.

I assume she's not a coworker, because that could (and should) make him reluctant.

Other than that, a lotta guys are scared to make a move because they hate rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume neither of them is married, since that could be holding him back if either of them is.

I assume she's not a coworker, because that could (and should) make him reluctant.

Other than that, a lotta guys are scared to make a move because they hate rejection.

And a lot of rejection today is really ugly and too often public. I wouldn't want to be a guy in today's dating climate.

[Anonymous]

If she was interested in him, she would make a move.

[Anonymous]

It's the #metoo movement gone too far. Men are afraid to make the first move for fear of being accused of harrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the #metoo movement gone too far. Men are afraid to make the first move for fear of being accused of harrassment.

Making the first move sucks. Always has. #Metoo didn't make that happen. Also, that's why women don't want to make the first move even though a commitment to feminism would mean that it's 50/50 as to which gender makes the first move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a crush on a woman for months. Refuse to make a move even when she’s made it clear the interest is mutual and then get all hurt and pouty when she moves on to someone else? I told him you snooze you lose. He said I don’t get which maybe I don’t because I haven’t dated in over a decade and I am not a guy.

Care to explain? Because I’m tired of hearing from my younger brother about this situation.

This sounds more like what women do? If a guy does not ask you he is not into you and is being polite. It’s a save facing you but of course you see it as he guy being bad. I doubt he is all hurt about not asking you out. You came on to him and he nicely rejected you but your ego it too large to know.

[Anonymous]

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been afraid to ask women out for most of my life. I used to just go for it thinking the worst they could say was no. One day I asked someone out and she made a huge scene like something out of a movie and proceeded to give an itemized list of everything "wrong" with me in front of a few dozen people. Despite how long ago that was, and despite how many experiences I've had contrary to that one, I can't seem to shake the fear of rejection born out of that singular experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the #metoo movement gone too far. Men are afraid to make the first move for fear of being accused of harrassment.

Not really. But hilarious that you think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the #metoo movement gone too far. Men are afraid to make the first move for fear of being accused of harrassment.

Making the first move sucks. Always has. #Metoo didn't make that happen. Also, that's why women don't want to make the first move even though a commitment to feminism would mean that it's 50/50 as to which gender makes the first move.

I hear you. In my experience, this is just not something that women are really able to empathize with. It's sort of the inverse of men having trouble feeling sorry for women who occasionally get catcalls or unwanted flirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been afraid to ask women out for most of my life. I used to just go for it thinking the worst they could say was no. One day I asked someone out and she made a huge scene like something out of a movie and proceeded to give an itemized list of everything "wrong" with me in front of a few dozen people. Despite how long ago that was, and despite how many experiences I've had contrary to that one, I can't seem to shake the fear of rejection born out of that singular experience.

Sounds like someone on here concerned about possibly associating with lower-class “brutes” (her word) or the teeming unwashed living below a DCUM $150K poverty line in (shudder) Pimmit Hills.