Husband pretty much called me a wh***

[Anonymous]

I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

Oh boy. Classic. He's having an affair.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he’s up to something and is trying to flip things around on you.

Who’s the woman he constantly brings up? Do you suspect an affair?

[Anonymous]

I hate when DCUM says someone is having an affair, but in this case it sounds like it. Sounds like he's trying to deflect. Situation didn't come out of nowhere, because apparently he's been talking a lot about his female friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

Oh boy. Classic. He's having an affair.

Not yet maybe, but I fear soon.

His stuff is straight out of the cheaters' handbook - gas lighting, blame shifting, etc. To the T!!

[Anonymous]

Yes to the above. If he's not, he's at least thought about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

Oh boy. Classic. He's having an affair.

I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s rarely at home.

[Anonymous]

He is clearly projecting some of his inner turmoil, whether affair or something else. I'm so sorry, OP, that he said such hurtful things to you. I would not lift a finger for him and refuse to have anything to do with him, unless he grovels and apologizes, and then go to therapy with you. Not that I believe therapy is always successful - it's not. But a point has to be made that this is not OK and requires introspection and effort on his part to resolve. This won't go away with a nice vacation and jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Definitely having an affair.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure it happens, but I've never understood why someone having an affair would frequently bring up the name of the affair partner to their spouse. If I were ever going to have an affair, I doubt I'd ever bring up their name.

(In fact, I'd probably go overboard.
[Wife]: Mentions woman next door.
[Me]: Who? Never heard of her. Someone lives next door?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

Oh boy. Classic. He's having an affair.

Not yet maybe, but I fear soon.

His stuff is straight out of the cheaters' handbook - gas lighting, blame shifting, etc. To the T!!

+1 Classic stuff right here. His guilt is making him project.

[Anonymous]

Rarely is there universal agreement on here, OP.

Try www.survivinginfidelity.com for advice and support. And take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Why is he talking constantly about this other lady? Especially being a married guy.

OP don't bring any of this up again, but start finding out what is going on. Either he is having an affair or hoping to.

[Anonymous]

He's feeling guilty, either because he's having an affair or desperately wants to.

[Anonymous]

No need to find out what he has been up to. I'd be done anyhow. Offer to have paternity test done, to prove kids are his. Start the separation process.