"Let's face it. Everyone here wants the Ivies for their kids" . . . Is this true

[Anonymous]

That's a quote from the NCS/HA homework thread, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who doesn't feel this way. I was amazed that the comment wasn't challenged.

I want my child to have a joyful experience in high school, and to graduate having had a wide enough range of experiences to be able to know what he wants in the world, and the confidence and skills to get it. I want him to find a path that brings him great personal satisfaction, allows him to use his talents and gifts, and makes a lasting impact on the world in ways that are in keeping with our family values. I'd also like him to have health insurance.

If a Cathedral school or the Ivies happen to be a stepping stone on the path to this, great. I'll support him 100%, but I don't see that as the one path to "success" or "happiness", and my own pride isn't wrapped up in the status of the school he attends.

I can't be the only one who feels this way. Or am I? Are my family and our family values going to be totally out of sync with other private school families if that's what we end up choosing?

[Anonymous]

Please, please search old threads on this forum and don't put us through this again! You ask a very good question, but it's been discussed thoroughly multiple times -- you'll be happy to know that most people agree with you!

[Anonymous]

Whether or not parents want the Ivies for their kids -- each of the 8 Ivies only accepts about 10% of its applicants -- so it's best if most people don't set their sets so high --- because even the people who want to go there probably won't get in. There are many other great choices for colleges/universities. The Ivies reject a lot of perfect SAT/perfect grades type kids -- so it doesn't leave much hope for any kid who isn't "perfect.' My kid wasn't perfect by any means...but did get into a top Ivy because of athletic recruitment.

[Anonymous]

I think EVERYONE wants the best for their children. But, Ivies doesn't automatically equate to the best. One size does not fit all. I think the name means more to the parents than it does to the kids, i.e.-"The BIG 3".

[Anonymous]

OP, I love your statement, "my own pride isn't wrapped up in the status of the school he attends."

It's sad some kids end up in certain schools, not because it's the right fit, but because of the above statement.

[Anonymous]

I seriously doubt you're going to find anyone who takes the view that "I don't care if my child is having a terrible experience and is absolutely miserable, as long as she goes to an Ivy." Of course everyone wants her children to be happy. But most parents also want their children to get the best education possible and enjoy lots of life success (as OP herself agrees). Correctly or not, an Ivy-league education is often used as a shorthand description of those benefits.

I don't think it's quite accurate or fair to take "everyone wants the Ivies" literally as a narrow statement of what parents want to the exclusion of all else.

[Anonymous]

Very sensible response above -- I agree

[Anonymous]

Public college grad here but... I have several friends that graduated from Ivies and they aren't any more remarkable than most of my other friends that did not go to Ivies. One friend failed the bar four times and passed on the fifth try. JFK Jr. failed the bar three times (correct me if I'm wrong).

Another friend went to public and catholic school, public university UM law. Passed NY, CA, DC, and TX bars without blinking an eye.

I could go on... George W. went to... let me stop!

[Anonymous]

I think the comment should be read as "Everyone here wants their child to be able to choose whether to attend the Ivies or not." Or something to that effect. Its all well and good to say you want your kid to be happy, but its another thing to have a child decide they want an Ivy, apply and get rejected. I'm all for my children deciding they don't want an Ivy education - I've known many Ivy graduates and have not always been impressed. Many schools are just as good at educating kids. There are many factors in deciding where to attend a school. But its another thing if its the Ivy school doing the deciding - that is a rejection of your child and no one wants that.

[Anonymous]

I hope my kids go to Berkley, CalTech or MIT, Oxford or the Sorbonne. The Ivies are great schools for certain career paths, but it takes a very short-sighted and narrow view of success to choose the Ivies to the exclusion of the many other great schools around the world.

[Anonymous]

above -- those places you've mentioned are just as hard or harder to get into than the ivies

[Anonymous]

I am just hoping that my kid gets into a more prestigious school than the kids of my obnoxious brother-in-law!!

[Anonymous]

hysterical above -- maybe hope that everyone gets in somewhere great -- love makes the world go around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope my kids go to Berkley, CalTech or MIT, Oxford or the Sorbonne. The Ivies are great schools for certain career paths, but it takes a very short-sighted and narrow view of success to choose the Ivies to the exclusion of the many other great schools around the world.

I can see this conversation now: "That's right, son. Just relax. No need to feel to feel any pressure to go to Harvard or Yale, as long as you get into MIT or the Sorbonne."

[Anonymous]

Well, I hope I am raising a future Morehouse man. However, I hope that when that time arrives, I am the kind of parent that is supportive of the decision my son chooses. It would have been his hardwork, therefore his choice.