which is worse in terms if mean girl behavior: middle school or high school

[Anonymous]

my kid literally just started school and is already being picked on. 6th grade and hoping it gets better in high school.

[Anonymous]

Middle school is definitely worse. By high school the girls have figured out who their people are, and even if there are mean girls they have less power.

[Anonymous]

The age range from 12 to 15.

After that they have a sense of self so it is not so bad anymore unless the girl is crazy.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the kids -- both the bullies and the bullied.

[Anonymous]

5th and 6th grade are the worst.

[Anonymous]

We found 7th grade to be the absolute worst. By 8th they have confidence (are the oldest and coolest in the school) and as a pp said, by 9th they have found their people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We found 7th grade to be the absolute worst. By 8th they have confidence (are the oldest and coolest in the school) and as a pp said, by 9th they have found their people!

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The age range from 12 to 15.

After that they have a sense of self so it is not so bad anymore unless the girl is crazy.

No it just continues into adulthood. Means girls become mean women.

[Anonymous]

Good luck. I agree it's a lifetime problem. My DD was "bullied" if you can say that by not being included in middle school. Literally, most other kids would not even look at her. She became a bookworm. 9th was the worst because she attended a school with no other friends.

She's in 10th this year and fingers crossed I feel like she's doing so much better- making friends etc. I feel like the fact that she doesn't need others approval makes other kids drawn to her now. We'll see how the year plays out though.

[Anonymous]

Barring an unusually toxic high school environment, middle school is the worst. The kids are hitting puberty, they are all insecure and self-conscious, they are trying to find their niche, and they have no perspective. By high school, although there will probably still be some "mean girls," the other kids tend to have a better sense of self and more confidence, and there are more options for finding your place--theater, sports, music, art, etc.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your DD and you. I have been in your shoes. Both of my kids struggled. MS was the worst -- I have one still in MS. It can be really hard. 6th and 7th seem to be the worst. For my DD who is now in HS we looked for outside activities and she found friends outside of school which was a lifesaver.

[Anonymous]

Do boys experience the same dilemma or if there is something equivalent, when does it happen for the boys?

[Anonymous]

6th & 7th were the worst. It was much better by 8th and nonexistent in HS.

[Anonymous]

MS is more obvious, but HS is worse. There are major friend group shifts freshman year, and quite a few girls start focusing on status and invites. No one is crying to mom and the office phone isn’t ringing, like in MS, but the “if you know, you know” culture is prevelant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age range from 12 to 15.

After that they have a sense of self so it is not so bad anymore unless the girl is crazy.

No it just continues into adulthood. Means girls become mean women.

No, most young teen girls are mean girls and most mean girls outgrow it.

Ask anyone who works with teen girls.

For every mom or girl who is co.plaining that those girls are "the mean girls" there is a mom or girl from those girls complaining that your daughter is the mean girls.