Regrets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you wish you had known when your DC was starting high school? (Or, better yet, what does your DC wish they’d known, done, and not done?) What ended up being important in college admissions, what ended up being overkill, etc?

My kid was accelerated in math, and I wish I'd pulled him back a level. He hung on for dear life all the way through, with grades that dragged down his GPA. I'd rather have had him master the lower level, even if it dinged him in terms of rigor of schedule.

Other than that, no regrets. He might look back and wish he had tried a couple of different extracurriculars, but he really did a good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really none for us. We had a great partner in our school and that *really* helped. I would say if your school starts its college counseling program junior year or later, get your own private counselor. We had 4 years of college counseling services and they were invaluable. The other recommendation we got from friends was to have a private tutor for SATs not a group class. We followed this advice and were very happy. My own personal piece of advice is not to get hung up on the PSAT. It’s nice for your high school if kids score high and it certainly is helpful for the kids who do well, but not scoring in the stratosphere has no impact on admissions or how well your kid adjusts to college. We knew people who prepped the PSAT and that just wasn’t worth the money to me. And yes, get those good grades freshman year! They make a big difference.

I agree with this. I used to think it was ridiculous. But at our NoVa, very rigorous private, college counselor won't even talk to you until mid-way thorugh junior year and nobody is helping kids and parents understand how important choices from 9th grade on really are. If I had to do it over, I would have had outside counseling for our first at least, until we got the lay of the land. Now that I learned all the mistakes with our first, I know how to help my youngers ones make better decisions.

Where does one find such a counselor?

[Anonymous]

No ragrets!

[Anonymous]

I regret the $800 I spent for tutoring for the Math 2 SAT Subject Test, given that she ended up not needing to take any subject tests. On the other hand, there was no way I could have known that at the time (end of sophomore year), and I'm happy I was able to realistically assess the situation and stop the tutoring, which meant that I had to realize that she was not going to be able to get a good enough score for it to make sense for her to take that test and so readjust my expectations of her rather than driving her relentlessly and making us both miserable. (I just suggested that maybe she wanted to take a break, see if things became more clear after studying for the SAT in general, and reassess what subject tests to take after junior year, and she agreed).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with prior poster. All grades, every year, matter. Alos, we let DS's learning resource teacher (he's at very rigorous DC private, with a pretty severe ADHD and exec function disorder) talk him into taking only 5 courses junior and senior year. Huge mistake. Even if he had filled that extra spot with an easier arts class, it would have looked much better on the transcript. DS has intelligence that is above 98% of the population, but has been deferred or rejected by 8 colleges so far, including safeties you wouldn't even believe--and no acceptances. It's a nightmare and due to very bad decision-making--not for lack of hard work. Grades and a full, rigorous course load.

I’m so sorry to hear this, pp. I hope you have better news by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son and I visited UVA in the spring of this junior year. At the end of the presentation by the admissions person he looked over at me and said, “I wish I had heard all of this when I was in 8th grade or a freshman”. I thought that was pretty telling.

We did tell my DC the things they need to know, and even an older cousin had the talk and said, "I wish someone had told me at your age..." but it didn't make a difference because sometimes their brains are not ready to hear about or process the future.

So much this, especially with boys!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We would have moved DC to private for middle school. We would have hired a tutor sooner. We would have cut way back on sports in high school.

Why private for middle school? Smaller class sizes?

To learn rigorous study skills. For a very bright kid, MS was too easy and required no effort, almost no homework, not enough feed back, very little studying for tests, too many second chances. Old habits die hard, and by the time DC caught on to the higher expectations in this private HS, the GPA was toast. Hopefully the old "colleges love to see a progress pattern" theme is true. As a student, DC is transformed, but I can see how it would have been better if we had switched sooner.

Sadly, the “colleges love to see progress” did not help my son who graduated from a DC private with a 3.5.
It was rough. Good luck to you. Be sure to apply to true safeties - those with a 75% acceptance rate.

[Anonymous]

No regerts.

[Anonymous]

My son’s school did not explain SAT subject tests until spring of junior year, and it was too late by then. He should have taken SAT Subject Test for Bio after taking Honors Bio. I learned a lot from my friend, whose sons were at Georgetown Prep. They have excellent college counseling there. When I heard her son was taking SAT Subject Tests, I wondered why my kid and I knew nothing about them. If you are going to apply to a top 50 school, plan on taking them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son’s school did not explain SAT subject tests until spring of junior year, and it was too late by then. He should have taken SAT Subject Test for Bio after taking Honors Bio. I learned a lot from my friend, whose sons were at Georgetown Prep. They have excellent college counseling there. When I heard her son was taking SAT Subject Tests, I wondered why my kid and I knew nothing about them. If you are going to apply to a top 50 school, plan on taking them.

They’re no longer offered by the College Board.

[Anonymous]

Well, there were some regrets with my first born kid but in the end he did ok. By the time we were on our 3rd kid we had figured out some college application stuff. In the end, some kids are talented and end up doing the right things without even having a plan. Luck plays a part too.


- Make sure that your kid masters the concepts of core subjects in middle school so that the "high GPA and rigorous courses in HS" can have a chance to happen. Get a tutor if needed and don't let them flounder. A "C" in Math is very acceptable to the middle school for your child, but in reality, your child is floundering with a C and will not be able to be successful in high school in Math. Algebra and Geometry need to be mastered in middle school. Feel free to repeat these classes in high school if your child did not get it in middle school. Set them up to succeed by supporting them with tutors and enrichments early on.

- Every single homework, quiz, test, assignment matters and is included in your transcript. You may also earn high school credits in middle school. If you get less than 4.0 for a high school credit taken in middle school, repeat the course in high school. No need to start 9th grade with less than 4.0 in your HS courses taken in MS.

- Start foreign language early in middle school so that you can aim for foreign language AP in HS. Even if you only take two years of foreign language in HS, you will still be at a high level of foreign language. In our public school, some kids took HS level foreign language from 6th grade, and they were done with FL AP in 10th grade.

- Khan Academy and college board are quite good for SAT prep. SAT is an exam that you can do very well in by just prepping. If you have mastered the content but still are not scoring well, get a private tutor or take a class.

- Summer between 8th and 9th grade - meet your HS counselor and establish a relationship with them. One of the first things you should do is ask them to chart what courses you will probably take in the 4 years there. Having such a spreadsheet is essential for you to do your planning for college as well as to meet graduation requirement. It also allows you to strategically take some classes during summer and free you up for other electives during the school year. Remember that your high school counselor is an immensely valuable resource and a guide who can help you to brainstorm many opportunities that suits your interests as early as the freshman year.

- If you are taking AP courses , you need to start studying for them the summer before. Remember that the AP exams are in May and some teachers stop teaching by end of March or mid-April. It is a shortened school year for APs and you still need to cover the entire AP course. Don't expect your teacher to cover the curriculum. This year, AP College Board site also have prep material and it comes to around 1/2 hour of studying every day. This means that if you are taking APs, expect to spend anywhere from 1/2 hour to 1 hour of studying for it every day. .

- Unless you are a very talented athlete or theatre person, these two activities take a lot of time out from a student's day. So moderate the time that your kids spend on these activities if they are not getting recruited. Also, cull down the many EC activities that your child did in middle school so that they can concentrate on 2-3 core activities in high school.

- Look at the COMMON APP and maintain it as a working document that you keep updating with your academic and EC accomplishment. The common app application essay questions do not change. Filling the common app helps you to identify what part of your application needs working on and you can be more strategic.

- Keep a record of any service hours that you need for graduation. Our school district requires 75 hours of service hours starting from 6th grade to graduate HS. Aim to meet the requirements by middle school and then continue with service hours in HS also. Many honor societies have requirement of service hours logged in HS for each semester to qualify or maintain membership.

- Get your SAT out of the way early in the HS journey once you have finished with Algebra 2. 11th grade is a good time to be done with SAT requirements if you are well prepared and done with Algebra 2. Many students take the SATs in the summer between 10th and 11th grade.

- Do take the PSATs every single year that you can. It is practice for SAT and gives you a fair idea of how you will do in SAT. Plus, PSAT grades links to Khan Academy and they customize a study plan based on your performance for FREE. Of course if you do well in 11th grade PSAT you can be in the running for national merit scholarship.

- Parents, sit through the free webinars that various for profit college counseling services put up. You don't have to sign up for their services but you can gain quite a bit of understanding about the college application process and the timeline of doing activities.

[Anonymous]

Tiger parent alert ^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tiger parent alert ^^^

This just made me laugh out loud.

[Anonymous]

21:47 thank you for your frank advice.

[Anonymous]

@21:47 Did your 3 kids want to do all that every single day? I got stressed reading it.