I genuinely don't get saving for college for kids

[Anonymous]

A got basically a full ride to college and law school. I think I paid maybe 25k total for a top SLAC and Ivy law school. I think my kid is as smart as I am, but there’s NO way I think he’ll get the same scholarships and grants!

[Anonymous]

We qualify for zero need based financial aid and our daughter got into an awesome instate school that doesn’t hand out the merit aid. We will be paying every dollar out of pocket so I am glad we will have the money to pay for it from savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I was a first generation college student. I worked really hard in HS and got decent scholarships for college. I primarily had merit-based aid, with a small amount of need-based aid and then student loans. I went to an expensive school. Costs worked out roughly as such:

40-45 k total
25 merit-based aid
5k need-based aid (Pell grant)
2k work study
10k student loans

I worked a lot in college and took out loans. It took me about 10 years to pay back the 40k and it never felt particularly onerous. I went to grad school via a program that paid for my degree entirely.

In my husbands case he had a full ride to a comparable school for tuition and his parents paid 10k/year for his room/board. He also has advanced degrees but did a combined ba/ma program and transferred in with a lot of credits so it ended up not costing much extra.

Our child is young but very bright and I believe she will be similarly high-performing in high school. We make more money than my family did, certainly, but we don't have dedicated college savings. I guess I am expecting my child to get a lot of merit-based aid and then figure we will be fine paying the rest.

I don't get why we would save 300k or whatever when I fully expect her to get merit aid. And if somehow she fizzles out and doesn't get merit-aid, then I would expect her to go to a cheaper school.

Am I missing something?

The best-laid plans.... My kid is very bright and scored in the top 2-3% as a kid. He developed depression starting around 7th-8th grade and barely got a 2.5 in HS despite being very intelligent. You have no idea what's coming so stop pretending like you do.

[Anonymous]

DD had a 3.95UW GPA and got enough merit to bring the cost of her top choice private colleges down from 70-75K per year down to 35-45K per year. We have a high enough HHI so we can pay the 45K annually out of pocket without having saved anything specifically for college.

However, unless you do the equivalent of buying a new car for cash every year for 4 years, I would recommend you save at least something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much vitriol! I have been accused of not loving my kids, buying luxury cars, being too stupid to have received merit aid myself and more. Just so many baseless assumptions.

Thank you to those who offered more nuanced thoughts.

To be clear, I "accused" you of NOT buying the luxury car. The colleges that offer merit money to strong students are the less selective, less prestigious schools. Most of those are fine choices, as are the schools that don't offer merit, for those who want to pay for that status. As I said, no judgment either way. I'm puzzled that you took offense.

I wasn't talking to you. I was referencing this post:

When your pre-med doctor wannabe daughter goes to some third tier laughing stock because you valued leasing new cars over saving for her college, and comes back pregnant or with some bad influence loser boyfriend and switches her major to sociology, then maybe it'll click how dumb your scheme was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to get flamed for your opinion here but I agree with you.

Same! I don’t see how spoon-feeding children does anyone good.

I don’t get all the “you should save/pay for your kids’ college” here. Parents don’t have to do jack sh*t for college. If you do, great (and I am, probably not enough to pay all of undergrad, but at least half), but if you choose not to, that’s fine too. If you want a Lexus instead, get a Lexus. If you want to drive a Kia and save for college, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Here's why this topic generates such vitriol and double-digit page threads:

Is because some of us see this as a critical distinction between US and THEM. How THEY DO IT and how WE FEEL IT SHOULD BE DONE, because we feel smarter and more virtuous than they do. And we are both.





(yes and that was on purpose)

[Anonymous]

I got a full ride, my sibling got 50% so I am also skeptical. We’re saving, but not in a 529. Odds get bigger every day that traditional colleges aren’t going to provide a path to meaningful employment in 15 years.

I will advise my kids not to waste money on an expensive undergraduate degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I was a first generation college student. I worked really hard in HS and got decent scholarships for college. I primarily had merit-based aid, with a small amount of need-based aid and then student loans. I went to an expensive school. Costs worked out roughly as such:

40-45 k total
25 merit-based aid
5k need-based aid (Pell grant)
2k work study
10k student loans

I worked a lot in college and took out loans. It took me about 10 years to pay back the 40k and it never felt particularly onerous. I went to grad school via a program that paid for my degree entirely.

In my husbands case he had a full ride to a comparable school for tuition and his parents paid 10k/year for his room/board. He also has advanced degrees but did a combined ba/ma program and transferred in with a lot of credits so it ended up not costing much extra.

Our child is young but very bright and I believe she will be similarly high-performing in high school. We make more money than my family did, certainly, but we don't have dedicated college savings. I guess I am expecting my child to get a lot of merit-based aid and then figure we will be fine paying the rest.

I don't get why we would save 300k or whatever when I fully expect her to get merit aid. And if somehow she fizzles out and doesn't get merit-aid, then I would expect her to go to a cheaper school.

Am I missing something?

Yeah, you are missing a lot. Not going to even read the plethora of posts flaming you for this ridiculous post. Good luck to your kid, it's obvious they're swimming upstream already, world is hard enough without parents like you.

[Anonymous]

Straight A student, Junior, 1580 SAT. He will take 12 APs by the time he finishes school. 8 of them by Junior Year. 4 and 5 in all of them. He is just like 100 students in his school who have similar stats. Which means that he will not be going to big name schools and he will not get even merit aid because we are donut family and Asian-American.

Colleges are going to be an impossible dream for people who are not rich. We will eat Ramen but save for our kid's college. But, you do you, hoss!

[Anonymous]

I guess, I was very lucky - as an immigrant from Europe, I went to community college first ( had to pay 3x more because I wasn't eligible for in-state tuition), I accumulated about 120 credits. Then I transferred to private university for nursing school ( I finished with an associate degree just to get RN License) for 2 years. I worked, then went part-time to public university to finish BSN degree in Nursing. I make over 100K gross as a staff nurse and have a government job. My parents never paid a dime for my school- heck, they still live in Europe. I just don't get why parents feel obligated to pay for colleges for kids here. Kids should have figure it out how to navigate their lives after high school.

[Anonymous]

Financial advisors advice you to save for college after you maxed your retirement account first.
Because you can’t borrow for retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess, I was very lucky - as an immigrant from Europe, I went to community college first ( had to pay 3x more because I wasn't eligible for in-state tuition), I accumulated about 120 credits. Then I transferred to private university for nursing school ( I finished with an associate degree just to get RN License) for 2 years. I worked, then went part-time to public university to finish BSN degree in Nursing. I make over 100K gross as a staff nurse and have a government job. My parents never paid a dime for my school- heck, they still live in Europe. I just don't get why parents feel obligated to pay for colleges for kids here. Kids should have figure it out how to navigate their lives after high school.

No one hires community college RNs anymore. You were lucky, when did you graduate?

[Anonymous]

We never saved for college. I would never advise anyone to do it unless they have really good incomes and can gain significant tax advantages from that saving vehicle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess, I was very lucky - as an immigrant from Europe, I went to community college first ( had to pay 3x more because I wasn't eligible for in-state tuition), I accumulated about 120 credits. Then I transferred to private university for nursing school ( I finished with an associate degree just to get RN License) for 2 years. I worked, then went part-time to public university to finish BSN degree in Nursing. I make over 100K gross as a staff nurse and have a government job. My parents never paid a dime for my school- heck, they still live in Europe. I just don't get why parents feel obligated to pay for colleges for kids here. Kids should have figure it out how to navigate their lives after high school.

[b]No one hires community college RNs anymore. [b]You were lucky, when did you graduate?

Weird, guess I, and the 90 others in my program who also have gainful employment, just...don’t exist.