Any way to delay or avoid the Disney princess obsession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get where you are coming from, OP, and agree it is a bit different since your kid is under 3. No need to let her watch lots of movies if you aren’t into that. The middle ground we found was being deliberate about the Princess movies my 4 year old can watch. We avoid the old Disney movies where the girl exists to get the boy. She loves Frozen. We introduced her to other stories like the Wizard of Oz. We won’t buy character toys because we don’t want toys with a single use. She can make her other dolls into frozen characters and into wizards or a family. Some PP said the bigger deal is what you say to her about them. “Isn’t Ariel so pretty” is going to be damaging long term if you aren’t also saying “I love how curious she is!” It’s a tough balance but ultimately your kid is going to like what they like.

A woman should have the freedom to do that if she wishes. There are plenty of women out there like this. That does not make them bad, or wrong, or less than. Women have choices. And this is one of them.

PP here. Yes, I agree that a WOMAN can make that choice. My kids will have plenty of time to go boy or girl crazy and make choices about relationships. They don’t need to do that when they are 4.

They’re playing PRETEND. It’s all make believe at this age. So you’re ok with make believe doctor or engineer (because that’s an acceptable role to you), but not make believe princess or wife?

You are being too literal. Of course pretend play is ok. It should be balanced. Exposure to lots of choices is important. I have zero problem with playing wife or doctor. My daughter does both. The argument is about movies. There aren’t animated princess movies where the princess is a doctor or an engineer. Until they show both equally in princess movies I will choose to expose her to the modern ones have love stories and strong women with other interests. You can be both.

The argument is not about movies. Go back and reread the OP. The argument is about Disney princesses.

NP.

The princesses show up in ... movies.

No shit. What does that have to do with the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get where you are coming from, OP, and agree it is a bit different since your kid is under 3. No need to let her watch lots of movies if you aren’t into that. The middle ground we found was being deliberate about the Princess movies my 4 year old can watch. We avoid the old Disney movies where the girl exists to get the boy. She loves Frozen. We introduced her to other stories like the Wizard of Oz. We won’t buy character toys because we don’t want toys with a single use. She can make her other dolls into frozen characters and into wizards or a family. Some PP said the bigger deal is what you say to her about them. “Isn’t Ariel so pretty” is going to be damaging long term if you aren’t also saying “I love how curious she is!” It’s a tough balance but ultimately your kid is going to like what they like.

A woman should have the freedom to do that if she wishes. There are plenty of women out there like this. That does not make them bad, or wrong, or less than. Women have choices. And this is one of them.

PP here. Yes, I agree that a WOMAN can make that choice. My kids will have plenty of time to go boy or girl crazy and make choices about relationships. They don’t need to do that when they are 4.

They’re playing PRETEND. It’s all make believe at this age. So you’re ok with make believe doctor or engineer (because that’s an acceptable role to you), but not make believe princess or wife?

You are being too literal. Of course pretend play is ok. It should be balanced. Exposure to lots of choices is important. I have zero problem with playing wife or doctor. My daughter does both. The argument is about movies. There aren’t animated princess movies where the princess is a doctor or an engineer. Until they show both equally in princess movies I will choose to expose her to the modern ones have love stories and strong women with other interests. You can be both.

The argument is not about movies. Go back and reread the OP. The argument is about Disney princesses.

NP.

The princesses show up in ... movies.

No shit. What does that have to do with the OP?

OP is worried about her kid watching Disney princess stuff. Most of that is in the movies. So how are the movies not relevant?

[Anonymous]

It’s pretty hard to avoid if you are in a normal suburb and go to a normal day care / preschool. I think you’d have to either hang out with very serious academic/intellectual parents or very left wing or very religious families to avoid it all together. (Those are the only people I know who never had Disneyfied daughters).

I think you’d have to be an anti tv/ movie family to avoid it all together.

I was never enough of an extremist to avoid it. My daughter (and her normie friends) loved the costumes, movies and toys from age 3-7 and then was mostly over it. I don’t think she was too damaged by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get where you are coming from, OP, and agree it is a bit different since your kid is under 3. No need to let her watch lots of movies if you aren’t into that. The middle ground we found was being deliberate about the Princess movies my 4 year old can watch. We avoid the old Disney movies where the girl exists to get the boy. She loves Frozen. We introduced her to other stories like the Wizard of Oz. We won’t buy character toys because we don’t want toys with a single use. She can make her other dolls into frozen characters and into wizards or a family. Some PP said the bigger deal is what you say to her about them. “Isn’t Ariel so pretty” is going to be damaging long term if you aren’t also saying “I love how curious she is!” It’s a tough balance but ultimately your kid is going to like what they like.

A woman should have the freedom to do that if she wishes. There are plenty of women out there like this. That does not make them bad, or wrong, or less than. Women have choices. And this is one of them.

PP here. Yes, I agree that a WOMAN can make that choice. My kids will have plenty of time to go boy or girl crazy and make choices about relationships. They don’t need to do that when they are 4.

They’re playing PRETEND. It’s all make believe at this age. So you’re ok with make believe doctor or engineer (because that’s an acceptable role to you), but not make believe princess or wife?

You are being too literal. Of course pretend play is ok. It should be balanced. Exposure to lots of choices is important. I have zero problem with playing wife or doctor. My daughter does both. The argument is about movies. There aren’t animated princess movies where the princess is a doctor or an engineer. Until they show both equally in princess movies I will choose to expose her to the modern ones have love stories and strong women with other interests. You can be both.

The argument is not about movies. Go back and reread the OP. The argument is about Disney princesses.

NP.

The princesses show up in ... movies.

No shit. What does that have to do with the OP?

OP is worried about her kid watching Disney princess stuff. Most of that is in the movies. So how are the movies not relevant?

The OP talks about character clothing, dolls, and watching Disney princess songs. OP does not mention the movies in her post. She doesn’t like the “Disney princess thing”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty hard to avoid if you are in a normal suburb and go to a normal day care / preschool. I think you’d have to either hang out with very serious academic/intellectual parents or very left wing or very religious families to avoid it all together. (Those are the only people I know who never had Disneyfied daughters).

I think you’d have to be an anti tv/ movie family to avoid it all together.

I was never enough of an extremist to avoid it. My daughter (and her normie friends) loved the costumes, movies and toys from age 3-7 and then was mostly over it. I don’t think she was too damaged by it.

For $200, What are groups of crazy people, Alex?

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand the backlash against today's Disney. The female characters are strong and brave, they're characters that I am happy to have my young daughters look up to!

We've watched some of the older Disney movies with our kids (really old, but also the 80s/90s movies) and I can see how there was backlash against those. The princesses needed to be rescued, were concerned about their looks, etc. But the Disney princesses of our youth are NOT the Disney princesses of today. Do some research before you blanket decide that Disney princesses are bad.

[Anonymous]

There's no point in fighting it. It's like how our water is fluoridated. The Disney princess obsession pervades barring the most extreme interventions.

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand the backlash against today's Disney. The female characters are strong and brave, they're characters that I am happy to have my young daughters look up to!

We've watched some of the older Disney movies with our kids (really old, but also the 80s/90s movies) and I can see how there was backlash against those. The princesses needed to be rescued, were concerned about their looks, etc. But the Disney princesses of our youth are NOT the Disney princesses of today. Do some research before you blanket decide that Disney princesses are bad.

Well, those pesky facts would get in the way of these parents feeling smug and superior, so of course they will ignore them.

They will ignore the fact that with the exception of Pocahontas, Disney hasn’t put up a truly problematic princess starting with Belle.

[Anonymous]

I find this whole "old Disney vs new Disney" thing really overblown. It's smart in terms of what movies you show your kids, sure. But when they are playing pretend princesses - it's not exactly true to the story... My older daughter liked Tiana best and she's never seen her movie - she just liked her dress. So, sure, don't show your kids The Little Mermaid on repeat, but if your daughter likes Cinderella, take a deep breath. It's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this whole "old Disney vs new Disney" thing really overblown. It's smart in terms of what movies you show your kids, sure. But when they are playing pretend princesses - it's not exactly true to the story... My older daughter liked Tiana best and she's never seen her movie - she just liked her dress. So, sure, don't show your kids The Little Mermaid on repeat, but if your daughter likes Cinderella, take a deep breath. It's ok.

Sure, but here’s the thing: As I said above, if watching Little Mermaid on repeat is going to mess up your kid, you have much bigger problems with your parenting.

[Anonymous]

Be like Elsa and just let it go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP. As a mom of four girls, they all gravitated towards their own things - regardless of how we tried to influence.

This thread makes me sad. The princess phase is really so fleeting. My experience is they move out of it by age 5.

As an “anti Disney” person myself, one of my most magical memories was seeing my daughters experience Disney around the age of four and five.

So then are you still anti Disney?

No. I guess I am not. However, I absolutely do not get the grown adults wearing the merchandise and honeymooning there.

My advice (having done it both ways), is if you end up with a princess loving girl, go visit the park when they still believe. Even my husband commented how special it was. Don’t you “been there done that” parents agree?

[Anonymous]

^we visit yearly with our princess loving daughter. It’s likely the best trip of the year for our family. I’m sure later Europe or NYC or Boston will appeal more but Disney is tops right now. It’s so magical. We took the kids to 4 countries this year (in trips in January and February) but it’s our recent Disney trip that topped it all.

And frankly, when you’re a parent it’s not all about you. Kids grow up so fast and a bit too soon, the magic is great while it lasts. My 4 year old think unicorns are real right now and that warms my tomboy heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP. As a mom of four girls, they all gravitated towards their own things - regardless of how we tried to influence.

This thread makes me sad. The princess phase is really so fleeting. My experience is they move out of it by age 5.

As an “anti Disney” person myself, one of my most magical memories was seeing my daughters experience Disney around the age of four and five.

So then are you still anti Disney?

No. I guess I am not. However, I absolutely do not get the grown adults wearing the merchandise and honeymooning there.

My advice (having done it both ways), is if you end up with a princess loving girl, go visit the park when they still believe. Even my husband commented how special it was. Don’t you “been there done that” parents agree?

As the mother of a 4 year old who isn’t really into princesses, but has adored Mickey since she first saw him when she was 12 months old, I totally agree. We took her to Disney in February, before everything went crazy with COVID, and it was absolutely wonderful.

Seeing her really believe she was meeting Mickey, Minnie, Winnie the Pooh, etc. was priceless. And honestly, even my parents—who definitely aren’t the theme park type of people—love going to Disney because of the cleanliness of the parks and the level of customer service.

We plan on going every couple of years because DH and I enjoy it too. There’s a lot to do for adults, especially if you enjoy Star Wars. They’re also about to open a couple of pretty cool attractions based on Guardians of the Galaxy that are definitely not geared towards little kids.

I think Disney is great for the young and young at heart. And there’s no reason you can’t go there and go elsewhere, assuming you have the money. We’ve also taken DD to Europe twice so far and intend on taking her abroad every 2-3 years.

[Anonymous]

Has ANYONE read OP’s thread? He/she says they want to try to put off the Disney thing until their daughter is 4. They are not saying that they are robbing the child of her childhood by withholding pink and girl stuff or movies or later on Disney.

They don’t want their 2 yo watching Disney NOW when she is just 2 when you know PEDIATRICIANS say toddler should have verrrrry little screen time and when they do it should be educational not cartoons. Themes of modern Disney characters being brave, smart, helpful whatever is not going to teach a 2 yo child how to read or write or learn preschool tasks. It could be Disney or The Grinch or The Simpsons. It doesn’t provide what is typical educational and foundational learning for a toddler. Plain and simple.