PSA To Parents Who Launch Complaints Against Teachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your point that if multiple parents complain about a teacher you automatically dismiss it as an unfounded coordinated attack? You completely dismiss the possibility that parents independently complained because the teacher is in fact a problem? Parents aren't allowed to discuss their kids teachers with other parents? I'm friends with other parents. If our kids have the same teacher and there is an issue, we'll ask each other to see whether our kid's account is possibly an exaggerated reaction specific to the child. As you acknowledge, sometimes kid's can be sensitive. I've never once coordinated an "attack" on a teacher. I've never agreed with others to all complain about a teacher.

DC's third grade teacher was having a lot of personal issues, crying in class, yelling at students, and generally not keeping up with the other third grade classes--the third grade team as a group set the pace of what should be covered and sent out joint monthly letters about what should be covered. I was surprised by DC's account so asked my friends "how's Larla's year going?" They confirmed DC's account. The teacher yelled at DC in front of the class for asking a clarifying question, so I reached out to her. Despite that, the shortness/yelling at students continued to the point that DC was afraid to ask questions if DC didn't understand something. At that point, I reached out to the administration. I never told my friends (the other parents I knew) that I did this and never asked if they also reached out. To this day, I'll see parents from that class (other than my friends) and invariably they will comment, "DC was in your DC's third grade class, right? What a wasted year (or something to that effect)." I agree because it was a terrible year for DC.

I didn't complain because DC was getting a bad grade, DC had good grades in the class. I complained because I didn't send my kid to school to be yelled at or be in an environment where other kids were being yelled at on a regular basis. I also think it's important for my kid to be able to ask a teacher for clarification so she can fully understand a topic. The administration was completely dismissive and defended the teacher, saying DC could be being sensitive. We had a couple of conversations that went the same way. The next year the teacher was no longer at the school. The administration let the kids go through an entire year of that behavior, when it was very clear early on that there was a major problem.

Your clear attempt to silence parents won't work. I'm not friends with any parents who are so bored that they'll make up a baseless coordinated attack on a teacher. You are a part of what's wrong with education. Instead of looking out for what's in the best interest of the students, you've decided that your primary responsibility is to defend teachers at all cost, thereby setting up an adversarial relationship with parents. You are so entrenched in the adversarial system that you've predetermined that multiple complaints against a teacher automatically indicates that the parents should be dismissed. The fact that you feel so strongly about the adversarial role that you come here to preemptively silence parents who might have legitimate concerns is sad.

No one is trying to silence parents. The overdramaticism of it all.

Just know that coordinated attacks are seen for what they are. Usually it’s the concern itself that determines the validity of the claim. If a concern is valid, it’s valid whether it’s raised by 1 parent, 50 parents or none. Sometimes people in the building see and address issues that were never raised.

You're missing the point. The fact that multiple parents complain in close proximity doesn't mean there's a "coordinated attack." If all the kids in a class go home and relay an incident that raises significant concerns, multiple people might complain at the same time. Parents can't win. If one parent complains, their kid is exaggerating, unreliable or lying. If multiple parents complain, it's an unfounded coordinated attack on a poor teacher. You are trying to silence people. Your post makes me even less confident that school administrators will do the right thing, but if I see something that has a significant negative impact on my kid, the least of my concern is that your or anyone else will think poorly of me or think that I'm somehow involved in a baseless vendetta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You've given me insight into how teacher abuse continues for so long.

Abuse is inexcusable and should not require parents getting together to file complaints. Any signs of abuse should be reported. Period. Full stop.

That is quite different from getting other parents to get together to complain.

Many times individual complaints are dismissed as unreliable. Parents join together to make sure they aren't dismissed. If you are going to not respond to valid concerns because you're mad that parents got together to raise their concerns, then you're failing at your job. If there is a valid concern, why would you be mad that parents join forces to voice their concern? You've given your PSA and my response is I'm going to do what I deem best based on the issue at hand. If I think I'm being dismissed with regard to an important issue, then I'll join forces with other parents to be heard. If you choose to let your disdain for parents complaining together interfere with your job, maybe it's time to find a new job that doesn't involve protecting children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Parents talk to each other. It doesn't mean it's a "coordinated attack" most of my friends are parents of other kids in my kids class so we talk to each other.

2. Often from our kids we only get one part of the story. You’re correct that kids don’t always tell the truth so I usually check with my friends who have kids in the same class to see if they heard similar things before reporting any issues. Attacks may seem coordinated and I guess in a way it is but only because when we combined bits and pieces from each other did a full picture of an actual issue emerge.

3. Often we go to the principal becuase of fear of retaliation. I've had a recent experience with a truly horrible specials teacher that was singling out individual students so I didn't want my kid to become one of them.

4. I've personally seen how far some principals will go to protect their favorite staff members. Calling a bunch of parents mean for having concerns is part of the reason there's a huge distrust between parents and school staff. Gossiping about parents doesn't make you the better person.

5. I hope my kid is watching me stand up for others.

how is it possible you’ve encountered so many “bad” teachers?

I have several kids in different schools and I used to work in the public schools. I can probably think of two CLEAR cases were a teacher should have been fired and wasn’t (one was something I saw in a classroom and another was a teacher my kid had for a special as mentioned above) and several other where parents were right to complain. In all cases the teacher in question got at most a warning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Administrators like OP are the reason that bad teachers get off so easily and are allowed to continue teaching despite the fact that multiple families have complained over and over about them.

You have already decided that the parents are wrong, and you don't even listen to the complaints or take them seriously.

I think op is a teacher that has been getting a lot of complaints.

+1

Or OP is a “forced to retire” adm who operated as mafia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I am nowhere near a teacher who’s getting a lot of complaints. But even if I were, that doesn’t make one thing I typed untrue.

I gave you the truth. Accept it or not. But attempts at personal attacks don’t change a thing.

The more times op responds, the more I’m convinced she’s a teacher that is receiving many, many, many complaints from angry parents.

[Anonymous]

OP - very gently - are you by chance Ms. Applebauer or Mr. Grapepants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I am nowhere near a teacher who’s getting a lot of complaints. But even if I were, that doesn’t make one thing I typed untrue.

I gave you the truth. Accept it or not. But attempts at personal attacks don’t change a thing.

Accept the truth that administrators are protecting bad teachers because they think mobs of parents are ganging up on them? Yeah, okay. Who sounds crazier - you, or the parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what, OP? The ONLY reason a terrible principal got fired from our elementary school last year was because a group of parents got together and discussed their experiences with that individual - and it turned out that it wasn't just a one off incident like each parent thought, it turned out it was happening to all of us. So yes, we absolutely coordinated a response to the administration about this principal and our children are all much better off for it.

And for what it's worth, I have also spoken to parents and written positive letters about our new principal who has made so many wonderful changes and completely changed the atmosphere of the school. So it does go both ways - I go out of my way to praise people who deserve it.

I have seen something similar. Parents were too afraid to come forward individually so it needed to be in a group.

At first the parents were attacked ruthlessly. Then apparently someone higher up did some more digging and the end result was the principal was fired.

Funny thing, that "coordinated" group of parents was 100% right.

[Anonymous]

OP you need counseling. Your post, no matter the caveats about the intended audience, comes across as smug and paranoid. There are no mobs of parents conspiring to run away teachers that they don't like for illegitimate reasons. You have watched too much TV. Your tirade against parents may be based on good intentions, but the messaging is lost because of the tone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you need counseling. Your post, no matter the caveats about the intended audience, comes across as smug and paranoid. There are no mobs of parents conspiring to run away teachers that they don't like for illegitimate reasons. You have watched too much TV. Your tirade against parents may be based on good intentions, but the messaging is lost because of the tone.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I experienced this for the first time this year. I have taught for over a decade and always had good relationships with parents, but this year somehow it became a witch hunt. Parents went straight to administrators with the most ridiculous things—an error in an answer key, a seating chart not changing frequently enough, tests being returned 2 days later instead of 1 day. I have spent more time in the APs office this year trying to explain to them what is going on than I have in the last 10 years combined. I don’t think I’m any different than usual this year...But I feel like I’ve been targeted, and it’s extremely frustrating and hurtful not to be trusted/respected enough for parents to contact me first instead of going to admin.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you need counseling. Your post, no matter the caveats about the intended audience, comes across as smug and paranoid. There are no mobs of parents conspiring to run away teachers that they don't like for illegitimate reasons. You have watched too much TV. Your tirade against parents may be based on good intentions, but the messaging is lost because of the tone.

I don't work in the school system, but I've seen this happen among parents in a class. It's not common, but with two kids going through K-12, I've seen it happen once full-blown and once in a milder way. (I've also seen plenty of parents work out their issues with teacher in reasonable ways--and have had 2 conversations with teachers myself over the years about issues where I disagreed with a policy/approach). The full-blown mob was "weird" -- it was led by a parent and who enlisted one more and then they tried to regularly whip up drama among parents about an event or policy in this teachers class. In this case, it was a teacher that my eldest had who myself and everyone adored, for the second somehow she was "hated" and there was no perceptible change in teaching that I could discern. But the same parent who whipped up the drama there also caused problems between parents, sued the HOA, had the bus stop moved, had a thing against the librarian. So it seemed ridiculous to me and I sent in messages of support for the teacher. But if you weren't a parent who witnessed this trend or weren't that involved in school, she could be very convincing. She was a lawyer and seemed very competent. The fact is that any job where you work with a diverse public you are going to encounter people with personality disorders, mental health issues, or just generally belligerence-- and because schools work with groups of kids and groups of parents over the long term in a really intensive way --these can intersect with weird group patterns that makes it different than just regular work with client. Your response that this doesn't happen seems really naive to me. Sure, it may not happen to you. But you have 1-4 kids over a certain period of time--you don't see the day in, day out of a school with all its students, teachers, parents etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm an admin (home on leave) and feel like this post is very, very problematic.

First, parents have every right to ask questions, get information, and raise issues with their teachers! We want that engagement (at least I do) and I view my role as a teacher as much as a partner to the parent's role in their child's education. That said, some teachers are not responsive (ignoring emails requesting information for over a week despite a follow up by the parent) or just don't care for parents putting their noses in their classrooms. Some teachers view their room as their kingdom and get touchy when parents ask questions. It should come as no surprise that more often than not, these are the teachers getting complaints from principals mostly.

Second, Principals have to juggle competing issues. First, if I have a competent teacher who isn't responsive, I am going to do my best to coach the teacher to be more responsive. If that doesn't work, I will take on the role of working with parents so long as the teacher is competent otherwise. I struggle to fill positions every year and there is a massive teacher shortage in this area. So, I will often take the devil I know versus the devil I don't.

Third, if the teacher is incompetent, this will trigger the long painful process of putting together a file to support non-renewal. It's a ton of work, but if the teacher is not only making more work for me, but is generally also incompetent, I will take on the extra work to get rid of that teacher.

Finally, I do think the IEP process for emotionally disturbed children results in a year or two where the child is obviously not in the right environment, the child is causing safety issues that require the teacher to clear her classroom on a regular basis and the child is disrupting instruction to the other children. In those situations, I will do my best to mitigate the impact on all learners including the child with suspected ED (though in 20 years I have seen 100 percent of these kids land in an ED center and thrive eventually). I will assign at least an IA to the classroom. I will often require a SPED teacher to spend the LA and Math blocks in that clasroom, and finally, I will probably grant requests from parents who wish that have their child removed.

So, there are valid reasons to raise concerns about your child's classroom. And I do not view multiple complaints as evidence of a mob. I am more discerning than OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admin (home on leave) and feel like this post is very, very problematic.

First, parents have every right to ask questions, get information, and raise issues with their teachers! We want that engagement (at least I do) and I view my role as a teacher as much as a partner to the parent's role in their child's education. That said, some teachers are not responsive (ignoring emails requesting information for over a week despite a follow up by the parent) or just don't care for parents putting their noses in their classrooms. Some teachers view their room as their kingdom and get touchy when parents ask questions. It should come as no surprise that more often than not, these are the teachers getting complaints from principals mostly.

Second, Principals have to juggle competing issues. First, if I have a competent teacher who isn't responsive, I am going to do my best to coach the teacher to be more responsive. If that doesn't work, I will take on the role of working with parents so long as the teacher is competent otherwise. I struggle to fill positions every year and there is a massive teacher shortage in this area. So, I will often take the devil I know versus the devil I don't.

Third, if the teacher is incompetent, this will trigger the long painful process of putting together a file to support non-renewal. It's a ton of work, but if the teacher is not only making more work for me, but is generally also incompetent, I will take on the extra work to get rid of that teacher.

Finally, I do think the IEP process for emotionally disturbed children results in a year or two where the child is obviously not in the right environment, the child is causing safety issues that require the teacher to clear her classroom on a regular basis and the child is disrupting instruction to the other children. In those situations, I will do my best to mitigate the impact on all learners including the child with suspected ED (though in 20 years I have seen 100 percent of these kids land in an ED center and thrive eventually). I will assign at least an IA to the classroom. I will often require a SPED teacher to spend the LA and Math blocks in that clasroom, and finally, I will probably grant requests from parents who wish that have their child removed.

So, there are valid reasons to raise concerns about your child's classroom. And I do not view multiple complaints as evidence of a mob. I am more discerning than OP.

We had both 3 and 4 happen to one of our DCs in a single year, and were very grateful the administration handled it as you did. I'm sure we weren't the only parents bubbling up issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We know who the bad teachers are. And we deal with them.

Yeah right. That’s why they stay employed at the same jobs for years.

How about this:

We will complain how we like, about whoever we want to complain about, as often as we want to complain, and you can get bent.

You work for us, the taxpayers, so can it with the scoldy haughty tone.

You can continue to complain.

And we will continue to look you in the eye, nod, ensure you've been heard....Then go on about our business.

Keep spending precious hours of your life trying to coordinate attacks and worrying about petty matters. Keep showing your crazy as your kid watches how you handle conflict. And we'll continue to enjoy our work. While you wallow in misery.

Don't pay your taxes for a whole year. And watch. The schools will remain open.

You're not as important as you think.

NP Here. And I have yet to complain about a teacher my DC has had and we are now in MS. That said, I'm not entirely sure why you think this post, and your tone, is helping your cause. At all. You may want to rethink it before running your mouth further.