95 year old mother falling repeatedly in assisted living

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

Perhaps, but if they do they probably also haven't been chronically ill for as long. Our elderly are more obese and have more health problems than ever. Many older folks I know can hardly get around because they never exercised a day in their life and drank coke and ate doritos for decades. People in other countries aren't as sick as we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

Perhaps, but if they do they probably also haven't been chronically ill for as long. Our elderly are more obese and have more health problems than ever. Many older folks I know can hardly get around because they never exercised a day in their life and drank coke and ate doritos for decades. People in other countries aren't as sick as we are.

I think that when they get sick in less developed countries it's more or less a death sentence. People are living longer in the US because they have had access to decent medical care, including immunizations against childhood diseases, since they were babies. We have better access to food and clean water and life is generally more comfortable and requires less physical labor than a life in a less developed country requires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:95 year old mother was hospitalized again after a fall. The highly rated assisted living facility she is at checks on her every 2 hours at night. They claimed to have checked on her at 2am and she was asleep but they found her on the floor at 3am. There are restraint laws in Virginia that prevent her from being belted into the bed. The staff seems helpful but not overly concerned. Anyone have experience with using fall mats next to the bed to prevent injury? We are starting the process of looking for a night aid to hire to ensure that she does not get out of bed on her own but that may take a week or more to get into place. Any ideas appreciated.

Is the AL facility willing to take her back once she is released from he hospital or are they requesting that your mother moves to an onsite nursing facility?

I have read though the thread and have a few comments.

Hospice is skeletal- they are good about providing things- like hospital beds, bathroom chairs, walkers, gel seat for transport chair, and such. When my father was in hospice in our home ( he lived with us the last nine months of his life), we saw the nurse about once a week, about every other week the social worker would come with the nurse, someone came 2 times a week to bath my father (in a bedchair- that took about 30 minutes. We saw the doctor once. He was in Hospice from Feb through May. We were responsible for all other care (including toileting, administering of medicine (shots), caring of heal blisters he got when he was hospitalized)...) There is no daytime care provided - let alone night time care and no respite care.

Hospice if supposed to be for the last 6 months of life. I would think your mother’s age and the number of falls may qualify her and your doctor just did not want to have the ‘hard conversation with you. If a person out lives the 6 months, hospice can be renewed and even revoked if a person seems to get better.

We moved my father to our house when he needed surgery and radiation (up from NC), he stayed with us about 9 months until his death. The last two were the hardest, but my sister came in twice with her DH to provide respite so that DH and I could take our youngest on a spring break college tour and a second time when DH and I went to pack up and bring back our older son from his freshman year in college. It was nice to have him, but it was a commitment. He had a good ending and for that I am grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

Perhaps, but if they do they probably also haven't been chronically ill for as long. Our elderly are more obese and have more health problems than ever. Many older folks I know can hardly get around because they never exercised a day in their life and drank coke and ate doritos for decades. People in other countries aren't as sick as we are.

I think that when they get sick in less developed countries it's more or less a death sentence. People are living longer in the US because they have had access to decent medical care, including immunizations against childhood diseases, since they were babies. We have better access to food and clean water and life is generally more comfortable and requires less physical labor than a life in a less developed country requires.

Stay on topic and stop the rambling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

Perhaps, but if they do they probably also haven't been chronically ill for as long. Our elderly are more obese and have more health problems than ever. Many older folks I know can hardly get around because they never exercised a day in their life and drank coke and ate doritos for decades. People in other countries aren't as sick as we are.

I think that when they get sick in less developed countries it's more or less a death sentence. People are living longer in the US because they have had access to decent medical care, including immunizations against childhood diseases, since they were babies. We have better access to food and clean water and life is generally more comfortable and requires less physical labor than a life in a less developed country requires.

Stay on topic and stop the rambling.

eh, you weren't following along with the conversation. Earlier in the thread another poster mused that eldercare is handled differently in other parts of the world - family members take care of the elderly. It was pointed out that other parts of the world don't have nearly the life expectancy that we have in the US so there is a reason why we handle things differently here. We have senior communities because we can generally expect to be seniors for awhile. Op's mom is a case in point. I'll bet that she was pretty darned active when she was 85 and maybe even when she was 90.

[Anonymous]

My father entered a nursing home shortly after his mother did and died before she did. Grandma passed away at 98.

The adult children of the elderly are often not whippersnappers themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

Perhaps, but if they do they probably also haven't been chronically ill for as long. Our elderly are more obese and have more health problems than ever. Many older folks I know can hardly get around because they never exercised a day in their life and drank coke and ate doritos for decades. People in other countries aren't as sick as we are.

I think that when they get sick in less developed countries it's more or less a death sentence. People are living longer in the US because they have had access to decent medical care, including immunizations against childhood diseases, since they were babies. We have better access to food and clean water and life is generally more comfortable and requires less physical labor than a life in a less developed country requires.

Stay on topic and stop the rambling.

eh, you weren't following along with the conversation. Earlier in the thread another poster mused that eldercare is handled differently in other parts of the world - family members take care of the elderly. It was pointed out that other parts of the world don't have nearly the life expectancy that we have in the US so there is a reason why we handle things differently here. We have senior communities because we can generally expect to be seniors for awhile. Op's mom is a case in point. I'll bet that she was pretty darned active when she was 85 and maybe even when she was 90.

This has nothing to do with OP. OP cannot care for her at home. It’s a nonissue.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

What is the difference between an inpatient Hospice facility and a regular nursing home, assuming there is a difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

What is the difference between an inpatient Hospice facility and a regular nursing home, assuming there is a difference?

It depends on the nursing home. I would think they would get better care at a hospice home. My husband basically lived at the nursing home when his mom passed. Hospice came in daily. Nursing home did their absolute minimum only checking on her every few hours, not even the required two. In a good nursing home probably not much. Hospice is better at medication management and they helped us advocate better medication and care as nursing home refused outside doctors. Hospice came most days to bathe and change the sheets and such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

Sadly that is not happening at many nursing homes. My loved one was too frail for transport but had we had the choice I would have picked the hospice home. But, op needs to hire someone to get more care. Inpatient hospice probably would not be appropiate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

Sadly that is not happening at many nursing homes. My loved one was too frail for transport but had we had the choice I would have picked the hospice home. But, op needs to hire someone to get more care. Inpatient hospice probably would not be appropiate.

Why do you think inpatient hospice would not be appropriate for Op's mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

Sadly that is not happening at many nursing homes. My loved one was too frail for transport but had we had the choice I would have picked the hospice home. But, op needs to hire someone to get more care. Inpatient hospice probably would not be appropiate.

Why do you think inpatient hospice would not be appropriate for Op's mom?

She had a fall. She did not say if was life threatening, a major change or a few months to live. Hospice will kick her out if she gets better. They cannot keep patients that improve. That happened to us. Their support and care made the quality of life better and had to pull out till there was a change per Medicare rules. Many could benefit but the rules are clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

Sadly that is not happening at many nursing homes. My loved one was too frail for transport but had we had the choice I would have picked the hospice home. But, op needs to hire someone to get more care. Inpatient hospice probably would not be appropiate.

Why do you think inpatient hospice would not be appropriate for Op's mom?

She had a fall. She did not say if was life threatening, a major change or a few months to live. Hospice will kick her out if she gets better. They cannot keep patients that improve. That happened to us. Their support and care made the quality of life better and had to pull out till there was a change per Medicare rules. Many could benefit but the rules are clear.

Makes sense. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read the entire thread. This was probably suggested earlier. I work at an inpatient Hospice facility. Many of our patients are geriatric long-term patients. We have a lot of fall risks, especially with our Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. We put fall risks closest to the nursing stations and use use mattresses with alarms. We will never be able to prevent all falls, but we do everything possible to keep our patients safe.

Sadly that is not happening at many nursing homes. My loved one was too frail for transport but had we had the choice I would have picked the hospice home. But, op needs to hire someone to get more care. Inpatient hospice probably would not be appropiate.

Why do you think inpatient hospice would not be appropriate for Op's mom?

She had a fall. She did not say if was life threatening, a major change or a few months to live. Hospice will kick her out if she gets better. They cannot keep patients that improve. That happened to us. Their support and care made the quality of life better and had to pull out till there was a change per Medicare rules. Many could benefit but the rules are clear.

Makes sense. Thanks.

Most people in assisted living and nursing homes would benefit from a team like hospice. We did. But, for Medicare to pay, you need specific qualifiers.