What commonly known thing did you learn at an embarrassingly older age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How to pump gas but in my defense I am from NJ

This comment reminded me of something I recently learned:

That there is a little arrow by your gas gauge on your dashboard that tells you what side of the car the gas tank is on. Who knew!

My 12yo dc told me this a few months ago-I never knew!!! And I’m 40...

[Anonymous]

How to pronounce gnocchi.

I said, G-noch-E at the holiday work lunch one year. I was 35.

[Anonymous]

It is far more important to pimp your status report than focus on doing your job right.

[Anonymous]

That Humpty Dumpty is an egg!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How to drive. I was 33 when I got my license. And I'm still absolutely terrified behind the wheel.

And this is why I will insist that my DCs learn to drive when everyone else does-at 16.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t mine, but my mother’s. She is very proper. To give an example, she addresses birthday cards to male children as “Master John Doe.” That level of proper. She has never, nor would she ever, utter something as crass as the F word. That’s what makes this hysterical. At some point in her life, she heard the phrase “shot his wad,” and had no idea what that referred to. She interpreted it as “he gave his all,” so she would occasionally describe someone who had put in grueling hours at work and she would say, “He has really just shot his wad.” The first time I heard her say this, I was too shocked and horrified to respond. The second time, a year or so later, I could barely keep myself from laughing out loud, and decided it was my dad’s duty to speak up, so I didn’t say anything. The third time, a couple years later, Mom even referred to a woman “shooting her wad.” At that point, it occurred to me that Dad wasn’t correcting her (surely he knows what it means, right?!), and that she was probably uttering this phrase to people outside of our family, since she was so clearly unfamiliar with its meaning. I steeled my nerves, sat her down and explained it to her. It was so awkward for me that I don’t even remember how she reacted.

You need to look up the origin of this saying. It's NOT sexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This isn’t mine, but my mother’s. She is very proper. To give an example, she addresses birthday cards to male children as “Master John Doe.” That level of proper. She has never, nor would she ever, utter something as crass as the F word. That’s what makes this hysterical. At some point in her life, she heard the phrase “shot his wad,” and had no idea what that referred to. She interpreted it as “he gave his all,” so she would occasionally describe someone who had put in grueling hours at work and she would say, “He has really just shot his wad.” The first time I heard her say this, I was too shocked and horrified to respond. The second time, a year or so later, I could barely keep myself from laughing out loud, and decided it was my dad’s duty to speak up, so I didn’t say anything. The third time, a couple years later, Mom even referred to a woman “shooting her wad.” At that point, it occurred to me that Dad wasn’t correcting her (surely he knows what it means, right?!), and that she was probably uttering this phrase to people outside of our family, since she was so clearly unfamiliar with its meaning. I steeled my nerves, sat her down and explained it to her. It was so awkward for me that I don’t even remember how she reacted.

You need to look up the origin of this saying. It's NOT sexual.

NP: It's not?? I'm afraid to google for further confirmation at work...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This isn’t mine, but my mother’s. She is very proper. To give an example, she addresses birthday cards to male children as “Master John Doe.” That level of proper. She has never, nor would she ever, utter something as crass as the F word. That’s what makes this hysterical. At some point in her life, she heard the phrase “shot his wad,” and had no idea what that referred to. She interpreted it as “he gave his all,” so she would occasionally describe someone who had put in grueling hours at work and she would say, “He has really just shot his wad.” The first time I heard her say this, I was too shocked and horrified to respond. The second time, a year or so later, I could barely keep myself from laughing out loud, and decided it was my dad’s duty to speak up, so I didn’t say anything. The third time, a couple years later, Mom even referred to a woman “shooting her wad.” At that point, it occurred to me that Dad wasn’t correcting her (surely he knows what it means, right?!), and that she was probably uttering this phrase to people outside of our family, since she was so clearly unfamiliar with its meaning. I steeled my nerves, sat her down and explained it to her. It was so awkward for me that I don’t even remember how she reacted.

You need to look up the origin of this saying. It's NOT sexual.

Well, there’s the origin and then there’s current common usage. If I told you someone was gay, would you assume I meant that he’s happy or that he’s attracted to men? Meaning can change over time.

[Anonymous]

I thought the moon was the backside of the sun. I didn’t know they were separate until adulthood

[Anonymous]

This isn’t mine, but my mother’s. She is very proper. To give an example, she addresses birthday cards to male children as “Master John Doe.” That level of proper. She has never, nor would she ever, utter something as crass as the F word. That’s what makes this hysterical. At some point in her life, she heard the phrase “shot his wad,” and had no idea what that referred to. She interpreted it as “he gave his all,” so she would occasionally describe someone who had put in grueling hours at work and she would say, “He has really just shot his wad.” The first time I heard her say this, I was too shocked and horrified to respond. The second time, a year or so later, I could barely keep myself from laughing out loud, and decided it was my dad’s duty to speak up, so I didn’t say anything. The third time, a couple years later, Mom even referred to a woman “shooting her wad.” At that point, it occurred to me that Dad wasn’t correcting her (surely he knows what it means, right?!), and that she was probably uttering this phrase to people outside of our family, since she was so clearly unfamiliar with its meaning. I steeled my nerves, sat her down and explained it to her. It was so awkward for me that I don’t even remember how she reacted.

You need to look up the origin of this saying. It's NOT sexual.


NP: It's not?? I'm afraid to google for further confirmation at work...

Go ahead and Google. It goes back to the days of muzzle loaded guns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love these! Especially "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it" and Note Bene.

I did not realize I was supposed to keep those stupid cardboard and/or plastic things in my husband's dress shirts. I'll have to look up what exactly you mean. Do you re-place the cardboard each time you wash the shirt?

The correct answer is you have your husband wash his own shirts and deal with it. Which is why I too did not learn this until very late, when I asked him why he kept these little white things all over his dresser instead of throwing them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve shared this one before. When my husband started a new job and purchased some very nice dress shirts, I wanted to be helpful and get them ready for him. I opened them, removed all the straight pins, threw out the cardboard under the collars and the little plastic tabs tucked into the collars. I washed and ironed them and had them all ready to wear. The first time my dh put one on, he asked where the collar stays were. I had no idea what a collar stay was. I felt so bad that I went back to Nordstrom and bought brass collar stays, which he still uses 20 years later.

Never realized that! I thought this is why they were starched!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This isn’t mine, but my mother’s. She is very proper. To give an example, she addresses birthday cards to male children as “Master John Doe.” That level of proper. She has never, nor would she ever, utter something as crass as the F word. That’s what makes this hysterical. At some point in her life, she heard the phrase “shot his wad,” and had no idea what that referred to. She interpreted it as “he gave his all,” so she would occasionally describe someone who had put in grueling hours at work and she would say, “He has really just shot his wad.” The first time I heard her say this, I was too shocked and horrified to respond. The second time, a year or so later, I could barely keep myself from laughing out loud, and decided it was my dad’s duty to speak up, so I didn’t say anything. The third time, a couple years later, Mom even referred to a woman “shooting her wad.” At that point, it occurred to me that Dad wasn’t correcting her (surely he knows what it means, right?!), and that she was probably uttering this phrase to people outside of our family, since she was so clearly unfamiliar with its meaning. I steeled my nerves, sat her down and explained it to her. It was so awkward for me that I don’t even remember how she reacted.

You need to look up the origin of this saying. It's NOT sexual.


NP: It's not?? I'm afraid to google for further confirmation at work...

Go ahead and Google. It goes back to the days of muzzle loaded guns.

Ha! It still sounds quite dirty, though, and I have also heard older people use it very confidently in the same way PP's mom has.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in a different country, but always thought it was "Pope Yes" chicken, instead of "Pop Eyes" chicken. Imagine my embarrassment when I landed here and asked for "Pope Yes" chicken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the moon was the backside of the sun. I didn’t know they were separate until adulthood

That is quite a few years of science class you missed!