I'm a homeschooling mom AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a question for you OP, just praise. And some envy.


Ignore the Bitter Barbies and Catty Kathies here. They hate you because they're jealous. And they hate your kids because they know they're smarter than their kids.

Keep up the good work.

I am a NP. Your post is equally offensive. All parents make decisions that they feel are best for their kids and their circumstances. Some people have good reasons why they do not believe in homeschooling. Who are you to say what is best for them or how smart their children may be? There are tons of bright, successful children in public and private schools. And I can guarantee you there are plenty of lackluster or average kids being home-schooled right now. You can't make sweeping generalizations about one or the other.

I wonder what is up with you that you have such an awful reaction to this thread.

I guess that must be why virtually the entire thread (except for a few posts) is people making generalizations about home schooling, home schooled kids, and making passive aggressive and mean comments to the OP, huh?

My "awful reaction" isn't to the thread - it's to the nasty a-holes of DCUM who hate everyone who isn't a striving, pathetic bubble dweller like them.

Perhaps you should look in a mirror. Your behavior indicates you are just another one.

+1. Agreed.....perhaps a bit of self-reflection would help you get to the root cause of your anger and aggressiveness.

[Anonymous]

Do you suffer from anxiety?

[Anonymous]

I have a certificate to teach elementary and my oldest is profoundly gifted. I really toyed with the idea of homeschooling but in the end going to school is just way too valuable an experience. Instead we chose a selective, progressive private school and we after school. It’s the best of both worlds. We’ve done story of the world and classical conversations—way too Christian centered by the way. Life of Fred, worldly wise, Miquon, AoPS—which by the way isn’t enough by itself. Chess club, Mel science kits, and just diving deep in interested topics. My oldest blossomed at school. That is the best way to describe it. The academic stuff is done at home, but you cannot replicate what is going on at school at home.

[Anonymous]

Your co-op sounds great. Are you comfortable sharing the name?

[Anonymous]

Someone I know was homeschooled. Looking back she says she misses out on having a greater variety of subjects to choose from and the missed opportunities
Her parents just laughed at her when she said that. She is doing ok now, but she grew up very religious, parents provided her with a super religious peer group, some of them are almost like cult followers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do homeschooling parents who have always homeschooled realize some of their kids really need to work on waiting their turn and not monopolizing conversations or activities? I just started homeschooling my 4th and 6th graders. My kids can't stand going to homeschooling activities run through museums or other places where instructors try and teach and kids are supposed to listen and wait their turn to speak. Many homeschoolers are incredibly rude to the instructors and will not wait to be called on and will want to monopolize the instructor's time by not quickly answering a question and moving on. Or the feel the need to add their own commentary and their parents smile and look so pleased at how clever they think their kids are. I am seriously appalled at some of the behavior of these kids. Of course it isn't all of the homeschoolers but is enough to make these outings irritating. I noticed that it tends to be the ones who have never attended school so have never had to wait to be called on or never had to take turns while 24 other kids wait for the teacher to notice you.

I have definitely seen some of this behavior, but then there are parents who think that their little angels are just the brightest little crayons in the box in all educational circles (I have heard plenty of eye rolling comments IRL.) I would cautiously even agree that it might be more prevalent in certain homeschooling circles, particularly when kids are not used to being in group learning settings. It is one of the reasons that I have sought out multiple instances for my kids to have exposure to group settings and learning from other teachers, ie various sports coaches, coop teachers, and music lessons. I have observed our coop classes and hand raising is definitely enforced so I am not concerned about my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Do you read the Reddit homeschool survivor subreddit? If so, what do you think?

Yes I have. I think there are terrible parents in all circles, and I have also heard horror stories about private and charter schools that do a bad job teaching and public schools where kids are passed along without learning anything, so its definitely not a homeschool only thing.

I do think homeschooling can provide an unfortunate cover for abusive parents. That is why I don't have a problem with some state regulations, such as the portfolio reviews that my state requires. I don't agree with states having no laws.

I also am a bit of an outlier in some homeschooling circles because i dont think that any one parent can provide an adequate high school education (if your qualified to teach chemistry, you're probably not qualified to teach literature at that level). That's where the beauty of a strong community comes in to call upon the skills of other parents along with online classes etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a certificate to teach elementary and my oldest is profoundly gifted. I really toyed with the idea of homeschooling but in the end going to school is just way too valuable an experience. Instead we chose a selective, progressive private school and we after school. It’s the best of both worlds. We’ve done story of the world and classical conversations—way too Christian centered by the way. Life of Fred, worldly wise, Miquon, AoPS—which by the way isn’t enough by itself. Chess club, Mel science kits, and just diving deep in interested topics. My oldest blossomed at school. That is the best way to describe it. The academic stuff is done at home, but you cannot replicate what is going on at school at home.

Glad you found a system that works for you! I think that is what every parents needs to do, particularly when you have kids with exceptional learning needs.

We don't do classical conversations either, and we just have to do a bit of work to get some of those school opportunities like chess club, but we make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your co-op sounds great. Are you comfortable sharing the name?

It is great! I'm not really comfortable sharing, though, because with some info I've shared I could probably be outed .

[Anonymous]

Is your identity tied into homeschooling? I think this makes it harder for kids to state how they actually feel, if they know homeschooling is really really important to their mom, or the primary basis of their moms existence.

Are you willing to separate your kids and let some go to public or private school? I am opposed to religion but that aside, I think the combination of religion and homeschooling is near abusive in many families.

My cousin skipped town as soon as she was old enough. Oldest of four, flew across the country and parents didn't hear from her for months. It was scary for them (and probably her). But after that all the kids were switched into public school.

How do you know that your kids like the arrangement vs. are being over aware of your needs and time invested in homeschooling being best?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a question for you OP, just praise. And some envy.


Ignore the Bitter Barbies and Catty Kathies here. They hate you because they're jealous. And they hate your kids because they know they're smarter than their kids.

Keep up the good work.

Thanks! It is hard work but we really enjoy it.

No one is jealous. Every family does what they think is best. Homeschooling makes sense for some kids. Obviously the OP feels she is completely qualified to educate her children.

I don’t see how after 8th grade because no matter how much she supplements she’s not qualified to know what her kids need educationally and their experiences will be extremely one sided.

[Anonymous]

I also am a bit of an outlier in some homeschooling circles because i dont think that any one parent can provide an adequate high school education (if your qualified to teach chemistry, you're probably not qualified to teach literature at that level). That's where the beauty of a strong community comes in to call upon the skills of other parents along with online classes etc.

It's funny you say this. I've considered home schooling for part of high school. I have a JD and a PhD in Chemistry, with a double major in Biology and a minor in political science as an undergrad. I could easily handle teaching advanced science classes as I've taught these subjects at a top tier university. I also am very comfortable teaching writing, as I've taught legal writing at a law school. I suspect that I could manage to teach high school history and literature without too much trouble, as it's not that removed from some of my favorite law school and undergrad classes. My husband is an engineer and could easily handle all advanced math and Physics through university levels, as he's taught university classes on these topics. He also got a perfect verbal score on the SAT and is very well read. He'd help with literature and history.

We'd want to outsource a foreign language, but this is best taught by a native speaker anyways. I was a good musician in school, getting top scores at the All State competition every year in high school, but am rusty enough that I'd hire that out as well.

Anyways, I have no idea if we'll ever try to homeschool, but there are people with broad educational backgrounds who likely could manage high school topics. Those are far easier for us than early elementary stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your identity tied into homeschooling? I think this makes it harder for kids to state how they actually feel, if they know homeschooling is really really important to their mom, or the primary basis of their moms existence.

Are you willing to separate your kids and let some go to public or private school? I am opposed to religion but that aside, I think the combination of religion and homeschooling is near abusive in many families.

My cousin skipped town as soon as she was old enough. Oldest of four, flew across the country and parents didn't hear from her for months. It was scary for them (and probably her). But after that all the kids were switched into public school.

How do you know that your kids like the arrangement vs. are being over aware of your needs and time invested in homeschooling being best?

Nope, not really. As I stated in the OP, I also work and actively socialize with parents work, stay home, homeschool, privately school, and publicly school and my children have friends from all of these backgrounds as well. It is definitely not my main source of identity, although I do enjoy it. I would say that in the very beginning, when I was being met with skepticism from a variety of angles, I was maybe a little more defensive as I tried to find my footing, but now I'm much more relaxed. If they expressed an interest in attending a more traditional school, I would be open to discussing their reasons with them and seeing if that was a good way to meet their needs. I would not be automatically opposed to it. If there was one child who wanted to stay home while the other wanted to attend a school, we would also discuss that-- they are their own people with their own educational needs. We homeschool because right now it fits their educational needs and our lifestyle, not because we think it is the be-all, end-all of education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I also am a bit of an outlier in some homeschooling circles because i dont think that any one parent can provide an adequate high school education (if your qualified to teach chemistry, you're probably not qualified to teach literature at that level). That's where the beauty of a strong community comes in to call upon the skills of other parents along with online classes etc.

It's funny you say this. I've considered home schooling for part of high school. I have a JD and a PhD in Chemistry, with a double major in Biology and a minor in political science as an undergrad. I could easily handle teaching advanced science classes as I've taught these subjects at a top tier university. I also am very comfortable teaching writing, as I've taught legal writing at a law school. I suspect that I could manage to teach high school history and literature without too much trouble, as it's not that removed from some of my favorite law school and undergrad classes. My husband is an engineer and could easily handle all advanced math and Physics through university levels, as he's taught university classes on these topics. He also got a perfect verbal score on the SAT and is very well read. He'd help with literature and history.

We'd want to outsource a foreign language, but this is best taught by a native speaker anyways. I was a good musician in school, getting top scores at the All State competition every year in high school, but am rusty enough that I'd hire that out as well.

Anyways, I have no idea if we'll ever try to homeschool, but there are people with broad educational backgrounds who likely could manage high school topics. Those are far easier for us than early elementary stuff.

It sounds like you could definitely handle a lot of the high school course load! However, I just wanted to point out that you would also be calling upon your husband to help with certain courses that lie within his wheelhouse, so you didn't really contradict what I said when I expressed that one parent could not really an entire high school course load. I know some families who use a similar strategy as you outline and it works well for them!

The important thing is to know your limitations and seek help in the areas where you need it so you won't sell your kids short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone I know was homeschooled. Looking back she says she misses out on having a greater variety of subjects to choose from and the missed opportunities
Her parents just laughed at her when she said that. She is doing ok now, but she grew up very religious, parents provided her with a super religious peer group, some of them are almost like cult followers

The problem with anecdotes like this is that they can happen in a variety of educational environments. A student in a small rural public school will not have the same opportunities as one in a DC or NYC public school. Small private schools have limitations and advantages that public schools do not.

I do not doubt that she missed out on a few things, but she probably also had some opportunities that she would not have had in a traditional school setting as well. Parents have to carefully weigh their options and make the choice with the best interest of their child in mind, which is something that parents have to do regardless of the educational options before them (public/private/charter/immersion/homeschool/etc)

It makes me feel sad that her parents would have laughed at her, though, because I think the biggest advantage of homeschooling is being able to tailor the education to the child. Being able to progress in subjects when they master something and just keep moving, plan lessons around their learning styles, and having time to incorporate interests. Even at the elementary school level, my children let me know about additional things they would like to learn-- the equivalent of 'electives' I suppose-- and we find ways to work them into their curriculum. We regularly have open discussions about the curriculum they work with and their lessons. We talk about material and lesson styles. As children, they know that they are not going to enjoy every subject and that they have to read books they might find boring or complete lessons they don't love, but I also feel confident that they know they are listened to and their opinions are respected.

As they get older, they will have increasing amounts of control over the electives they choose outside of the core subjects.

I went to a blue ribbon high school with over 2000 students and we had a set math, science, and history sequence (IE math was Algebra, Geometry/Trig, PreCalc, Calc) with some electives offered in each area (ie statistics and probability) and the courses were tracked based on ability, but there wasn't a ton of options there. My children will probably actually have more choices than I did in that regard thanks to all the online classes available.