Did you or your friends set fires as kids?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Kids were always setting fires for fun in my neighborhood. There was a long stretch where we’d meet after school every day with a collection of items to burn: newspapers, stuffed animals, hairspray, anything we could find. It eventually came to an end when someone called the cops about one particularly large fire in the woods. We were pretty lucky no one got hurt.

One kid I know made a flamethrower out of an Entertech squirt gun. Hooked a candle to the muzzle with a wire hanger, then filled the gun with gasoline from the lawnmower. Great idea, but the design flaw was that the candle was too close to the muzzle and the stream caught fire and the fire traveled back into the gun and blew up. He didn't lose any digits but his hand was pretty badly burned.

We were idiots...but I still get excited thinking about the anticipation waiting for him to light that thing.

......aaaannd this was when future helicopter parents were created. I hate that label, but, after the sh!t my friends and I did/experienced, you're damn right I'm keeping an eye on my kids.

I think you are right. We were given so much freedom. I can think of thousands of incidents where one or more of us should have been seriously maimed or killed all the way up to age 22. I do not trust kids.

And how many of the kids you grew up with that had a wide berth turned out ok? Just curious. I was lucky - I had great parents who provided freedom within limits (admittedly wide by today's standards), and turned out pretty ok (other than the arson thing...). But I would guess that statistics bear out that kids then were in no more danger than kids now. Yes, perhaps there was more probability then of someone blowing off his hand with an M-80, but there's no real trend. Point being, our kids are not in any more or less danger than we were; the current danger is different - more chance of drug abuse, perhaps, or not being admitted to one of the Big 3 - but not more. We just worry more.

Plus, fire teaches responsibility in a somewhat perverse, adult way. It's a real thing, a real danger, and you better learn to handle it lest something really bad happens. Not making the ECNL team though...not dangerous.

I didn't wear a seatbelt in cars until I was 19 years old and I was fine, even after being broadsided. I require all passengers to wear seatbelts in my car or we don't move. When you have some sense, you use it. This applies to supervising your children, which is a sensible thing to do. There is no way I could anticipate each crazy idea my 8 year old will cook up. Much easier to keep an eye on her.

PP here. Supervise, yes (they way my parents supervised me). Helicopter, no.

Well, I am one of the fire starters who posted here who also has hundreds of stories of insane, dangerous antics. I expect my children are at least half as diabolical as I was and that warrants keeping an eye on them. Helicoptering is just a derisive term used to justify a more "laid back" parenting style. I don't judge other parents and I'm not going to let their judgement of me cause me to slack off on monitoring my kids.

[Anonymous]

I once lit an entire matchbook under my deck as a kid and it went up so fast and got much better than I thought that I never did it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids were always setting fires for fun in my neighborhood. There was a long stretch where we’d meet after school every day with a collection of items to burn: newspapers, stuffed animals, hairspray, anything we could find. It eventually came to an end when someone called the cops about one particularly large fire in the woods. We were pretty lucky no one got hurt.

One kid I know made a flamethrower out of an Entertech squirt gun. Hooked a candle to the muzzle with a wire hanger, then filled the gun with gasoline from the lawnmower. Great idea, but the design flaw was that the candle was too close to the muzzle and the stream caught fire and the fire traveled back into the gun and blew up. He didn't lose any digits but his hand was pretty badly burned.

We were idiots...but I still get excited thinking about the anticipation waiting for him to light that thing.

......aaaannd this was when future helicopter parents were created. I hate that label, but, after the sh!t my friends and I did/experienced, you're damn right I'm keeping an eye on my kids.

I think you are right. We were given so much freedom. I can think of thousands of incidents where one or more of us should have been seriously maimed or killed all the way up to age 22. I do not trust kids.

And how many of the kids you grew up with that had a wide berth turned out ok? Just curious. I was lucky - I had great parents who provided freedom within limits (admittedly wide by today's standards), and turned out pretty ok (other than the arson thing...). But I would guess that statistics bear out that kids then were in no more danger than kids now. Yes, perhaps there was more probability then of someone blowing off his hand with an M-80, but there's no real trend. Point being, our kids are not in any more or less danger than we were; the current danger is different - more chance of drug abuse, perhaps, or not being admitted to one of the Big 3 - but not more. We just worry more.

Plus, fire teaches responsibility in a somewhat perverse, adult way. It's a real thing, a real danger, and you better learn to handle it lest something really bad happens. Not making the ECNL team though...not dangerous.

I didn't wear a seatbelt in cars until I was 19 years old and I was fine, even after being broadsided. I require all passengers to wear seatbelts in my car or we don't move. When you have some sense, you use it. This applies to supervising your children, which is a sensible thing to do. There is no way I could anticipate each crazy idea my 8 year old will cook up. Much easier to keep an eye on her.

PP here. Supervise, yes (they way my parents supervised me). Helicopter, no.

Well, I am one of the fire starters who posted here who also has hundreds of stories of insane, dangerous antics. I expect my children are at least half as diabolical as I was and that warrants keeping an eye on them. Helicoptering is just a derisive term used to justify a more "laid back" parenting style. I don't judge other parents and I'm not going to let their judgement of me cause me to slack off on monitoring my kids.

Curious then, what will you do differently than your parents?

[Anonymous]

^^^I actually monitor them. I talk with them every day. I have a bs detector and I know when I'm being lied to. I call them out on their bs. I spend time with them in nature and teach them all I know and learned the hard way. I share some stories of the sh!t I was involved in at their ages and I use them as cautionary tales. I keep the matches hidden up high, way out of reach. I don't let them roam the neighborhood and further places. I will adjust my methods as they grow. They're early elementary now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^I actually monitor them. I talk with them every day. I have a bs detector and I know when I'm being lied to. I call them out on their bs. I spend time with them in nature and teach them all I know and learned the hard way. I share some stories of the sh!t I was involved in at their ages and I use them as cautionary tales. I keep the matches hidden up high, way out of reach. I don't let them roam the neighborhood and further places. I will adjust my methods as they grow. They're early elementary now.

Thanks. That seems pretty normal; not helicoptering or laissez-faire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a family - two brothers and a sister - who managed to set two houses on fire.

Fast forward to today - The oldest is a control freak and has OCD, however he is almost a billionaire. The second brother is kind of a dud. The sister is a complete mess.

Feel sorry for this family. Do not know what happened for sure but the mother was a mess.

Well, they say the sociopaths are the ones who make the big bucks.

[Anonymous]

Totally nerdy straight-A woman here, born in 1969, and my brother and I used to light things on fire all the time. We would light small objects around the house & then drop them into the toilet to extinguish them. My DH used to light Hot Wheels cars on fire when he was younger. Good times!

[Anonymous]

I think setting fires was more common pre-2000 because more people smoked and had lighters and matches in the house. My kids didn't get into to setting fires because we didn't have anything to set them with. No matches, no candles, no gas stove, no wood-burning fireplace, no smoking. Can't use what you don't have.

[Anonymous]

My brother and I used to make explosives with our chemistry set, pack old toys with the explosives and blow them up. Awesome.

[Anonymous]

Straight A, nerdy honors student, also designated driver (lived in place with no drinking age), when my friends were drunk enough I used to pour their bottles of liquor in the street and set them on fire. There were a lot more lighters around back then. But my playing with fire was mostly driven by DD boredom. My similar brother used a magnifying glass to set fires in leaves and fire ant hills.

Both of us are reasonably well-adjusted adults who monitor matches closely with our kids.

[Anonymous]

I set many fires, as did many of my friends. They weren't to destroy things, and we were always able to put them out, but this is a normal thing for many adolescent boys. I think it's hardwired from evolution (for obvious reasons.) I still enjoy fire, as many people do. I wouldn't worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think setting fires was more common pre-2000 because more people smoked and had lighters and matches in the house. My kids didn't get into to setting fires because we didn't have anything to set them with. No matches, no candles, no gas stove, no wood-burning fireplace, no smoking. Can't use what you don't have.

This. Access.

In my 1980s childhood, a number of parents (incl. mine) had these large glass bowls in the house filled with matchbooks from bars/restaurants; even the parents who didn't smoke.

[Anonymous]

Heck ya! Little fires to watch things melt was fun and later huge bonfires when we got to middle school age