Is this possible without family money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would guess they probably had family help in the sense that they went to decent high schools (private or good public), didn't have a ton of college debt (scholarships thanks to the good high schools, or paid by parents), were able to start saving early, and have a family safety net so they aren't afraid to take some risks such as a big mortgage. They know they won't be living on the street if they miscalculated or have an unexpected emergency.

Not necessarily family help in the form of contributions to a down payment. It's totally possible to do that if you don't mind stretching a bit and taking some risks. Those of us who survived the last housing crisis tend to be fearful of going underwater on a house.

This.

+2. I'm the one early on who said DH and I had both sold earlier homes for six-figure profits. Neither of us had student loans or other debts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is correct. They can do it without family money if they aren’t contributing to 529s or saving outside of retirement.

We make around 420k HHI and what kills us is the 529 savings and savings outside of retirement. That alone is at least 4K per month just to be on track for retirement.

Truthfully someone with a SAHM isn’t necessarily that concerned with retirement. Having a spouse stay at home is one of the worst financial decisions you can make. Unless you’re loaded not contributing to a retirement plan for years really hurts.

How do 529's kill you at that salary? We make less than half and comfortably put into 529's.

m

We need to invest 2k outside of retirement and $1,200 per child into 529s. Each month. That extra 3k would buy us a much nicer home if we could instead use the monthly income towards a more expensive mortgage.

Unless you have 5/6 of a child, this math doesn' add up.

You’re a moron. I was rounding down. It’s $3,200 a month and I said 3k.

$200 is a material difference, and furthermore, the word usage you chose ("1,200 per child into 529s") implies more than one child. If you learn to express yourself clearly, you could avoid both confusion and the need to gratuitously insult others who point out your shortcomings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is correct. They can do it without family money if they aren’t contributing to 529s or saving outside of retirement.

We make around 420k HHI and what kills us is the 529 savings and savings outside of retirement. That alone is at least 4K per month just to be on track for retirement.

Truthfully someone with a SAHM isn’t necessarily that concerned with retirement. Having a spouse stay at home is one of the worst financial decisions you can make. Unless you’re loaded not contributing to a retirement plan for years really hurts.

How do 529's kill you at that salary? We make less than half and comfortably put into 529's.

m

We need to invest 2k outside of retirement and $1,200 per child into 529s. Each month. That extra 3k would buy us a much nicer home if we could instead use the monthly income towards a more expensive mortgage.

Unless you have 5/6 of a child, this math doesn' add up.

You’re a moron. I was rounding down. It’s $3,200 a month and I said 3k.

$200 is a material difference, and furthermore, the word usage you chose ("1,200 per child into 529s") implies more than one child. If you learn to express yourself clearly, you could avoid both confusion and the need to gratuitously insult others who point out your shortcomings.

It’s not to me. We make 420k HHI. The $200 isn’t keeping me from a more expensive home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is correct. They can do it without family money if they aren’t contributing to 529s or saving outside of retirement.

We make around 420k HHI and what kills us is the 529 savings and savings outside of retirement. That alone is at least 4K per month just to be on track for retirement.

Truthfully someone with a SAHM isn’t necessarily that concerned with retirement. Having a spouse stay at home is one of the worst financial decisions you can make. Unless you’re loaded not contributing to a retirement plan for years really hurts.

How do 529's kill you at that salary? We make less than half and comfortably put into 529's.

m

We need to invest 2k outside of retirement and $1,200 per child into 529s. Each month. That extra 3k would buy us a much nicer home if we could instead use the monthly income towards a more expensive mortgage.

Unless you have 5/6 of a child, this math doesn' add up.

You’re a moron. I was rounding down. It’s $3,200 a month and I said 3k.

$200 is a material difference, and furthermore, the word usage you chose ("1,200 per child into 529s") implies more than one child. If you learn to express yourself clearly, you could avoid both confusion and the need to gratuitously insult others who point out your shortcomings.

It’s not to me. We make 420k HHI. The $200 isn’t keeping me from a more expensive home.

Fair enough. Use it for writing lessons.

[Anonymous]

OP, you don’t say if they owned a home or homes before they bought this one. If he had a rowhouse in Hill East and she had a condo near Logan Circle before they got married, and then they sold both of them before buying the $1.6M home, this is an entirely different conversation.

[Anonymous]

Lots of possibilities:
1) No college or grad school debt (either through scholarships or parents)
2) Bought a starter home early on and capitalized on that
3) Savings and good investments
4) Wife was probably not always SAH--she may have also worked before the kids (as most educated women do)
5) Depending on the firm, an upper level associate can earn $400K (if bonuses are large)

[Anonymous]

I would guess family money, because everyone I know in DC who bought houses over $1 million who was in BigLaw at the associate level, or double fed (so about $300K combined), got some family money help. Three examples I can think of it was an inheritance (parent died young), another example it was a gift to help with down-payment. It is possible if you were very frugal and/or managed not to have law school loans, but it would be tough. And people on here are assuming BigLaw associate salaries and bonuses are much higher than they usually are. Maybe he's billing 2600+ and making $100K bonuses, but that is not the average at all. If he is 7/8 years out, and got a full ride to law school (which is also unusual) he could easily have an extra 100-200K saved as that is not going to loan payments, but that would still not put a huge dent in 1.6 million. And it is certainly possible if they were unusually successful in some other way (sold an early property for hefty profit, saved a bunch before wife stayed home, lived super-cheap before buying house). But like you, I'd bet its family help.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read this whole thread, but of course they can do it with no extra help.

We are in a similar spot, I SAH, similar house, and we save plenty.

[Anonymous]

Also, with regard to speculation that he'd could be pushed out and not make partner, plenty of senior associates are told they would be made counsel if they didn't make partner. Counsel = same income as senior associate, or slightly more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is correct. They can do it without family money if they aren’t contributing to 529s or saving outside of retirement.

We make around 420k HHI and what kills us is the 529 savings and savings outside of retirement. That alone is at least 4K per month just to be on track for retirement.

Truthfully someone with a SAHM isn’t necessarily that concerned with retirement. Having a spouse stay at home is one of the worst financial decisions you can make. Unless you’re loaded not contributing to a retirement plan for years really hurts.

How do 529's kill you at that salary? We make less than half and comfortably put into 529's.

m

We need to invest 2k outside of retirement and $1,200 per child into 529s. Each month. That extra 3k would buy us a much nicer home if we could instead use the monthly income towards a more expensive mortgage.

Your husband is smart.

OP here. We save this much too. And my husband insisted on a 15 year mortgage.

Well there you go. That’s why you don’t have a $1.6 mm home. Your husband has prioritized savings. Nothing wrong with that. Especially if you’d like to retire and you don’t have large inheritances coming.

[Anonymous]

We live in a 3m home. Our mortgage is 11k per month for a $1.8m mortgage. Dh’s salary is 400k. Monthly take home is 18k per month. We easily live off his salary and save and invest every cent of his $1.5m bonus. Our house is almost double the cost of OP’s friend but we can still afford it on just the salary. It would have been a stretch if DH didn’t earn seven figure bonus. 1.6m home with say $1m mortgage or 7-8k monthly mortgage? Totally doable on biglaw senior associate income.

I’m a SAHM of 3 kids. This is our third home. I used to save my six figure bonuses when I was working. No family money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a 3m home. Our mortgage is 11k per month for a $1.8m mortgage. Dh’s salary is 400k. Monthly take home is 18k per month. We easily live off his salary and save and invest every cent of his $1.5m bonus. Our house is almost double the cost of OP’s friend but we can still afford it on just the salary. It would have been a stretch if DH didn’t earn seven figure bonus. 1.6m home with say $1m mortgage or 7-8k monthly mortgage? Totally doable on biglaw senior associate income.

I’m a SAHM of 3 kids. This is our third home. I used to save my six figure bonuses when I was working. No family money.

A $1.5 million bonus is a game changer. You are basically buying a $3 million home on $2 million/year. Not even close to similar as what the op is saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So are people guessing large downpayment or mammoth mortgage?

If they put 20% on 1.6mil that's 320k. You realize that's like 2-3 years of bonuses if he's 6-7th yr+ associate right? Sorry you're jealous.

I don’t consider 20% a large downpayment. I would consider $1.28 a large mortgage. I would consider a large downpayment 50%+, making the mortgage “normal” range of $700-800k.

You may not (I don't either honestly) BUT you realize that there are PLENTY of buyers out there including people with $$$ jobs putting down 5-10%. So in the industry, 20% is considered large.

IDK how they sleep at night. Sure he's making great money NOW but partnership is never a guarantee no matter how much of a hot shot you are, no matter how much they tell you they love you and absolutely will promote you. Hell my firm is notorious for making people EQUITY partner and then pushing them out in 5-10 yrs if the executive committee partners aren't pleased; to say nothing of the tons of "stellar" seniors who are pushed out yearly. A 1.3mil mortgage when it could happen next yr or in 3 yrs that you're looking at a 150k inhouse or gov't gig?? Why not wait to buy that kind of home until after partnership if you're a senior associate already!?

If he is up for promotion this fall, he may have a pretty strong guarantee of partnership, depends how far out he is. There is always one or two “stars” in every class who everyone know will make it, and then a larger group for whom it isn’t clear until very close to the promotion decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would guess they probably had family help in the sense that they went to decent high schools (private or good public), didn't have a ton of college debt (scholarships thanks to the good high schools, or paid by parents), were able to start saving early, and have a family safety net so they aren't afraid to take some risks such as a big mortgage. They know they won't be living on the street if they miscalculated or have an unexpected emergency.

Not necessarily family help in the form of contributions to a down payment. It's totally possible to do that if you don't mind stretching a bit and taking some risks. Those of us who survived the last housing crisis tend to be fearful of going underwater on a house.

This.

Agree. Dh and I both had college paid for, I had some help with law school, and the government paid for his medical school (md/PhD). I paid off my relatively low law school debt aggressively before we got married (approximately $60,000), and it was paid off before I turned 30. This alone put us in a much better position financial position than our peers with large educational debts from college, law school, and medical school.

We also have the benefit of knowing that we will almost certainly inherit a sizable amount from both sets of parents (no old money, both in professional fields who capitalized on the stock market and housing boom from the 1980s forward. We of course still save for retirement ourselves, grandparents have fully fiumded college funds.

I have no illusions that we haven’t been given a dry substantial leg up even without parents contributing directly to our down payment We make much different financial decisions than we would otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would guess they probably had family help in the sense that they went to decent high schools (private or good public), didn't have a ton of college debt (scholarships thanks to the good high schools, or paid by parents), were able to start saving early, and have a family safety net so they aren't afraid to take some risks such as a big mortgage. They know they won't be living on the street if they miscalculated or have an unexpected emergency.

Not necessarily family help in the form of contributions to a down payment. It's totally possible to do that if you don't mind stretching a bit and taking some risks. Those of us who survived the last housing crisis tend to be fearful of going underwater on a house.

This.

Agree. Dh and I both had college paid for, I had some help with law school, and the government paid for his medical school (md/PhD). I paid off my relatively low law school debt aggressively before we got married (approximately $60,000), and it was paid off before I turned 30. This alone put us in a much better position financial position than our peers with large educational debts from college, law school, and medical school.

We also have the benefit of knowing that we will almost certainly inherit a sizable amount from both sets of parents (no old money, both in professional fields who capitalized on the stock market and housing boom from the 1980s forward. We of course still save for retirement ourselves, grandparents have fully fiumded college funds.

I have no illusions that we haven’t been given a dry substantial leg up even without parents contributing directly to our down payment We make much different financial decisions than we would otherwise.

very not dry.