Are you afraid of death?

[Anonymous]

I am not afraid of death. " I will be released"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have stage IV breast cancer, which means terminal. I'm in my e early 40's. I watched my mom,die of this disease 2 years before I was diagnosed. I think her death process scared me, but also gave me a a strange comfort that we are not alone when we cross over. I'm absolutely terrified of leaving my kids behind, especially with mom gone as well.
I had a very vivid dream of my uncle coming to get my mom. I have never had that dream before or since. He hugged me in the dream and never spoke but gave me the sense someone was waiting for me too. And not to be afraid. I read a quote by the actor Rainn Wilson once "We don't know what is after death just like a baby doesn't know what is after birth. Why do we always asume it's a horrible thing?"

I'm the Hospice Minister PP. I'm really sorry you got such a shitty diagnosis. My best friend died of inflammatory breast cancer several years ago. One piece of unsolicited advice. Listen to the diagnosis. Ignore the prognosis. You didn't arrive on Earth with an expiration date. Doctors can make educated guesses about how long a patient will survive, but they are very often wrong. My friend was given four months. She lived 18 months, most of them healthy and relatively pain free. We have patients given six months who live years. It's not false hope. There is always hope.

If I've learned anything in my work at Hospice, it's that death is like birth. It's a transition. I've seen more than proof that we go on after this body dies.

To the hospice minister - can you share some examples of the proof you've seenthat we go on after our bodies die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first time in 40 years that you have been intimately affected by death? Count yourself lucky. I have lost so many people in 45 years.....three infant nephews from SIDS, my younger brother, my dad from suicide when I was 11, all of my grandparents, my great-grandfather, my step-grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins.....how does death not touch you until you are 40? I am dying from a life-threatening illness. No, death does not scare me for myself. I only ask that I outlive my children.

Same. My only fear is that I will bury any more children before I die. I don't fear death. I fear life without my kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have experienced the death of grandmother, cousin, and uncles. I have experienced loss in other forms too — job loss, friendships, etc. but this particular death is crushing. It was so unexpected and violent (not suicide), and I had such a special connection with my loved one. This grief feels...different. Like I said, more intense. I have felt all the emotions typical is the grief process, all at once, some days I’m angry, other days I’m in disbelief. Then there is the weight of my family’s grief on top of mine.

Hospice Minister - I find your words so comforting. Please come back to this thread if you’re willing/able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a heaven and there is a hell. The only way to heaven is through Jesus. If people didn't fear death they wouldn't freak out and call 911 so frantically during a heart attack.

You evangelicals are so weird

We got nothing to lose

You got everything to lose.

all Jews
All Christians
All Islamists

Believe in heaven and hell. I think everybody feels it in their gut. Some probably never take it seriously until they are dying. The good news is in Christianity you can be saved even on your deathbed in the blink of an eye .

Yeah, but then you'll be in the afterlife, hanging out with all the other losers and scum of the earth who hurt people and were jerks all their lives but managed to ask forgiveness to get in. Doesn't sound like heaven to me. I'd rather hang with kind, thoughtful people who have an open spirit and are kind to each other. But have fun with all the pedophiles and murderers- sounds awesome!

And the reason people freak out and call 911 during medical emergencies is not because they are scared of death or what comes after, but because they are scared to not live. There's this thing called medical science that has all these advances in technology. There are lots of opportunities to ignore that and NOT receive appropriate, timely medical care, but why would you? I assure you that our medical systems are based on sustaining and improving health, not buying time to avoid the reaper. Remember, it's all science-based, not flying spaghetti monster based. SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am afraid of being infirm, losing my mind, and going through an agonizingly paintful death.

The thought of oblivion makes me incredibly sad. I like life too much, would love to see what happens in the world, see my children and grandchildren's lives and so on. I don't cherish the thought of not being anymore.

But once I am dead I won't feel anything, and my consciousness will be gone, so there's nothing to fear about that because I won't realize it since I won't exist any more. Just sadness at the prospect of it.

I feel similarly to this PP. I am a lot less saddened by my own death (assuming it's not tomorrow) than the death of those dear to me. I am terrified of losing someone I love - like DH, one of my kids, my sister - not so much my parents, who are older and I know their time with us is limited, so I have accepted that on some level. Of course, I will be sad when it happens, and I will miss them, but I will not be devastated, like I would be if someone of my generation or younger would unexpectedly pass away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am afraid of being infirm, losing my mind, and going through an agonizingly paintful death.

The thought of oblivion makes me incredibly sad. I like life too much, would love to see what happens in the world, see my children and grandchildren's lives and so on. I don't cherish the thought of not being anymore.

But once I am dead I won't feel anything, and my consciousness will be gone, so there's nothing to fear about that because I won't realize it since I won't exist any more. Just sadness at the prospect of it.

I feel similarly to this PP. I am a lot less saddened by my own death (assuming it's not tomorrow) than the death of those dear to me. I am terrified of losing someone I love - like DH, one of my kids, my sister - not so much my parents, who are older and I know their time with us is limited, so I have accepted that on some level. Of course, I will be sad when it happens, and I will miss them, but I will not be devastated, like I would be if someone of my generation or younger would unexpectedly pass away.

Don't be too sure you wouldn't be devastated by your parents' deaths. My father had a lengthy illness and I knew he would die from it. I did a lot of anticipatory grieving. I was still devastated by his death. I took comfort that it was in the natural order of things and was able to move forward after 7 months. A week later, I found out my mother had terminal cancer. She died a month later. Let me tell you, losing my Mother (who I wasn't as close to as my Dad) felt and still feels like a piece of my heart was ripped from my body. 7 years later, I have fully grieved and accepted the losses, but I always miss them and wish they were here.

[Anonymous]

Terminal illness gives you time to get your things in order with Christ. I feel horrible for people that unexpectedly die and are not reconciled. It's almost a blessing to be given time to prepare.

[Anonymous]

I'm not afraid of it at all. My mom passed at 41 after a 3-year illness. I'm 45, so I feel like I'm already ahead of the game. I don't fear dying itself, but I do fear an illness like the one she had - being in pain, being helpless, being dependent, being frustrated because parts of me don't work anymore.

Ideally, I'd like to see my daughter grow up and have kids. I'd hate for her to grow up without me -I'm not sure her dad is up to the task of raising her solo. But dying itself doesn't scare me.

[Anonymous]

I'm the Hospice Minister. Someone asked about my Near Death Experience. I was electrocuted by outdoor wiring. My heart stopped twice. I remember not being able to let go of the wire and knowing that this was how I was going to die. I remember feeling myself leave my body. I remember watching my son run into the house to get my husband. I saw an entity that looked male, but I knew intuitively was female. Odd, because I was raised in a very conservative christian home. My idea of "God" was definitely male. She was smiling and laughing. I felt love beyond measure. It wasn't just that this being loved me. She was love. And I was love. This love was completely unconditional. Everything was warm and beautiful. I had some thoughts about my family. I didn't feel any guilt about leaving them and I couldn't understand why. I just knew everything was going to be ok. I knew I had died. This being that I was with, I knew. It was definitely a maternal feeling. I had always known her. And I had always known about this place. I remember thinking, how could I have possibly forgotten all of this? I remember her laughing with me as I kept repeating, "how could I have forgotten". There was this music in the background. I'm not sure what it was, but I can pick out the notes on the piano.

The being told me I needed to go back. I begged to stay. She said I would return but for now, there were things I still needed to do. It felt like I was slammed back into my body. Leaving was gentle. Returning was awful. My chest was hurting. My hands hurt where I was burned. I tried to explain what I had seen, but the words wouldn't come. I felt like I had been gone for a long time, but in reality, it was less than an hour.

It took me years to process it all. I talked with several psychics and mediums and they all agree that I didn't see God or Jesus. The being I saw was likely a Spirit Guide. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I really thought it was God. I was already a minister and my near death experience led me to Hospice work. There is no scientific reason for what I saw. It went against every belief I was raised with in the southern baptist church. I wasn't on any medication. One minute I was walking around outside and the next, I was electrocuted. My experience closely matches what other near death survivors report all over the world.

When I hear my dying patients laugh or smile. Or when they talk about warmth and love. Or when they reach out their hands. Or when they say "I remember..." I feel like I know what they are seeing. I certainly would never claim to have the answers. But I do know there is more than just this reality. Think about it this way - When you are in your mother's womb, you have absolutely no idea that there is an entire world outside. Your mother loves you so much, yet you have no idea she even exists. Occasionally you might be able to hear her, but you have no way of interpreting the sounds. I think that's the way life and death are. Like birth, it's just another transition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the Hospice Minister. Someone asked about my Near Death Experience. I was electrocuted by outdoor wiring. My heart stopped twice. I remember not being able to let go of the wire and knowing that this was how I was going to die. I remember feeling myself leave my body. I remember watching my son run into the house to get my husband. I saw an entity that looked male, but I knew intuitively was female. Odd, because I was raised in a very conservative christian home. My idea of "God" was definitely male. She was smiling and laughing. I felt love beyond measure. It wasn't just that this being loved me. She was love. And I was love. This love was completely unconditional. Everything was warm and beautiful. I had some thoughts about my family. I didn't feel any guilt about leaving them and I couldn't understand why. I just knew everything was going to be ok. I knew I had died. This being that I was with, I knew. It was definitely a maternal feeling. I had always known her. And I had always known about this place. I remember thinking, how could I have possibly forgotten all of this? I remember her laughing with me as I kept repeating, "how could I have forgotten". There was this music in the background. I'm not sure what it was, but I can pick out the notes on the piano.

The being told me I needed to go back. I begged to stay. She said I would return but for now, there were things I still needed to do. It felt like I was slammed back into my body. Leaving was gentle. Returning was awful. My chest was hurting. My hands hurt where I was burned. I tried to explain what I had seen, but the words wouldn't come. I felt like I had been gone for a long time, but in reality, it was less than an hour.

It took me years to process it all. I talked with several psychics and mediums and they all agree that I didn't see God or Jesus. The being I saw was likely a Spirit Guide. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I really thought it was God. I was already a minister and my near death experience led me to Hospice work. There is no scientific reason for what I saw. It went against every belief I was raised with in the southern baptist church. I wasn't on any medication. One minute I was walking around outside and the next, I was electrocuted. My experience closely matches what other near death survivors report all over the world.

When I hear my dying patients laugh or smile. Or when they talk about warmth and love. Or when they reach out their hands. Or when they say "I remember..." I feel like I know what they are seeing. I certainly would never claim to have the answers. But I do know there is more than just this reality. Think about it this way - When you are in your mother's womb, you have absolutely no idea that there is an entire world outside. Your mother loves you so much, yet you have no idea she even exists. Occasionally you might be able to hear her, but you have no way of interpreting the sounds. I think that's the way life and death are. Like birth, it's just another transition.

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

I just pray I don't die suddenly or tragically. I am mid 30s and know so many people my age that have died it's quite scary.