Don't understand the crazy about sidwell friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not from this country. I doubt those who tease my grammar can write a word in my language, given the same year of exposure to that language as I was in English. Thanks for all the other posts that are trying to be helpful. We will tour MS and US.

OP, I speak many different languages. In whatever language I speak, I have the emotional intelligence to know that tone matters. Your tone and communication of entitlement is irritating.

My children go to a different Big 3, but I would not want someone like you in my community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not from this country. I doubt those who tease my grammar can write a word in my language, given the same year of exposure to that language as I was in English. Thanks for all the other posts that are trying to be helpful. We will tour MS and US.

OP, I speak many different languages. In whatever language I speak, I have the emotional intelligence to know that tone matters. Your tone and communication of entitlement is irritating.

My children go to a different Big 3, but I would not want someone like you in my community.

If you are the PP, you can say that to yourself. I don't want you in my community as well, but that's not what you can decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We currently have two children at university in a H/P/S/Y (alphabetically). The type of students whose excellent grades, standardized test scores, and ECs earned them admission into every competitive school and program to which they ever applied, both here and when we lived in NY.

As in your case OP, Sidwell Friends School did not seem like right place for our children, and in the case of one of them did not offer a particular desired EC, and so it was their choice not to apply there for either MS or US. They applied to only two schools, Georgetown Day School and National Cathedral School/ St.
Albans School (again, alphabetically), and were admitted to both.

Sidwell won the private school lottery with its admission and attraction of both President Clinton's daughter Chelsea, and President Obama's daughters Malia and Sasha. It distinguished the school as THE destination of DC power brokers, who in turn sent their children their in numbers. Not surprisingly the children of the powerful and well-connected have earned admission to the H/P/S/Ys, which in turn benefits the school's college placement stats and continues to attract the next generation of strivers.

Sidwell is undoubtedly a very strong private school, as are Georgetown Day School and National Cathedral School/St. Albans School. You really cannot veer too astray in sending your child to any of these schools. I know it is difficult to turn away from a 'brand' name, and you may even doubt yourself, but I would say that parents should trust their instincts and those of their child.

If the place that feels exciting, or warm, or full of energy, or special, or welcoming, or like the right fit for your student for any reason isn't Sidwell, then trust your instincts and go elsewhere. That is what our children chose to do successfully for themselves, and we have never had any regrets.

Thank you, this is very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are letting your American class shine through.

I would assume OP is from another country and not remark on his/her grammar. What does it do for anyone other than (perhaps) make you feel superior?

I was also at the Sidwell OH. There were many, many parents from "other" countries. Including myself.

Yes, but you and they were not making snarky, obnoxious comments about Sidwell.

The truth is that OP's child will probably not be admitted, as most of those who apply are not. And assuming that you know the quality of education offered by a school based on facilities or an open house is really stupid. Especially, since it's clear that OP took no time to actually talk to teachers or current parents there.

I would suggest OP to talk to teachers/parents as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:41, I like most of your post. You offer good advice. I do wish you hadn't included the third paragraph, which is really just thinly veiled snark, and is unnecessary to the rest of your points. Not sure why you chose to go that route.

I apologize as I intended it as a rather matter-of-fact explanation of what seemingly has launched Sidwell into its own class over the past decade. Many of our native Washingtonian friends tell us that even fifteen to twenty years ago Georgetown Day School, National Cathedral School/St. Albans School, and Sidwell Friends School were all considered virtual equals, with NCS/STA having a slight advantage as the school of choice of DC power brokers and moneyed families, and thus with slightly better college matriculation state at that time.

It is a fact, not a snark, that children of the wealthy, or connected, or powerful enjoy a disproportionate (i.e., greater than their 1% numbers) percentage of admissions to the H/P/S/Ys. In the past, NCS/STA enjoyed the benefits of that advantage, and now we have cycled into Sidwell being the primary benficiary of those advantages.

Please note that I used the word "earned" to say how these students gain their admissions. Again, I meant no offense to Sidwell, to you as a Sidwell parent, or to your Sidwell students. I apologize.

I appreciate the apology and clarification. With full respect to you, I am not sure your description of the history of DC schools as learned from your friends is an accurate one, so I don't see it as quite so "matter-of-fact." I also think some of your language choices (e.g., "won the lottery" and "generation of strivers") are loaded ones you would not appreciate being applied to your children or their schools. Moreover, since you do not have personal experience with the school, perhaps your second-hand impression of the parent community is incomplete. I do appreciate your emphasis on how the students "earned" their college placements, regardless of what upbringing or advantages they might've enjoyed, just as I'm sure you would want people to agree that your own children "earned" their successes regardless of the advantages they might've had. Even if I disagree with them, I take your word that your comments were meant in good faith and not intended as jabs. Coming in the middle of a thread that is light on substance and heavy on attacks, perhaps I saw your description of school where you don't have any experience as just more of the same. Again, I appreciate you apology for your comments; such apologies are even rarer on DCUM than in real life so it speaks well of you that you'd offer one.

"Won the lottery" is an old-fashioned, Midwestern expression I use to connote something really good, but not necessarily expected, happening to someone. My own parents "won the lottery" when they sold for over a million dollars a farmstead they had bought for a few tens of thousands in the mid-1970s, to a Fortune 500 American company in the mid 1980s. In the same sense, Sidwell Friends School "won the lottery" when, first President Clinton, and later President Obama chose to send their daughters there. It was not necessarily anticipated by the school, but it has clearly had resounding benefits for the school. That is simply put in my Midwestern vernacular.

"Strivers" describes all of us who come to Washington, DC as well-educated, intelligent, and ambitious people, not necessarily from affluent backgrounds ourselves, who succeed here such that we can send our own children to these private schools. We are all "strivers" in that we are all striving to improve upon our own lot in life, and to have our children start out their adult lives in a stronger position than we began ours. "Strivers" is not an insult, it is just plain speak. I referred to a "generation" to temporally place this phenomenon in the ten or so years since recent Presidents sent their daughters to the school.

As for personal experience, we did visit and research the school before our children decided not to apply there. We also have many close friends and professional associates who are part of the school's community. I have one close friend at the school in particular who will readily admit and confess to you his or her 'pretense', 'ambition', and/or 'striving'. Without divulging specific details with might identify either of us, I will relate this story. My friend and I have known each other since high school when we competed in the same activity for different high schools in our State. Both of us attended local Colleges (in his or her case our Big State University), followed by Public Graduate Schools, before reconnecting again as professionals in Washington. My friend is an accomplished and respected professional with the ability to fund their children's Sidwell education. Our older children are about the same age, and her or his oldest currently also attends a H/P/Y/S. At their respective private DC schools, each of our children competed in variations of the activity that my friend and I had excelled at during our own high school years. However, he or she purposely restricted their child's participation to an easier variation of that activity, and prohibited them from attending certain competitions that we had routinely attended as high school students ourselves. When I asked him or her why this was the case, especially since they had been a star of this activity back in the day and still loved it, my friend honestly and candidly responded, "because I want them to attend H/P/Y/S." Of pertinence to this discussion, she or he informed me that Sidwell discouraged their child's outside participation in this time-consuming pursuit because it would take too much time away from their studies. According to her the school had college admissions down to a science (which it clearly does) which did not justify the 'risk' of a sustained commitment to this activity. In contrast, my oldest child spent many wonderful moments of their high school years making friends from around the country and competing in the same activity that my friend and I had benefited and learned so much from as teenagers. And they did so with the support of their school. My friend's and my oldest child both ended up at the H/S/Ys, and I have noted for them the irony that someone who themselves succeeded resoundingly out of Big State University felt that they had to limit their child's participation in an activity they loved in the pursuit of the H/P/S/Y formula. To their credit, my friend has expressed regret about that decision.

[Anonymous]

Correction: "which might identify".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I'm not from this country. I doubt those who tease my grammar can write a word in my language, given the same year of exposure to that language as I was in English. Thanks for all the other posts that are trying to be helpful. We will tour MS and US.

OP, I speak many different languages. In whatever language I speak, I have the emotional intelligence to know that tone matters. Your tone and communication of entitlement is irritating.

My children go to a different Big 3, but I would not want someone like you in my community.

There is no tone in text, choose your interpretation wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It got popular when Chelsea went there, and then when the Obama girls went there. This city is full of a$$ kissers, and people wanted to be there just to be able to say they send their kids to school with the president's kids.

Sorry, but it was popular well before the Clintons.

-- DC native and independent school grad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:41, I like most of your post. You offer good advice. I do wish you hadn't included the third paragraph, which is really just thinly veiled snark, and is unnecessary to the rest of your points. Not sure why you chose to go that route.

I apologize as I intended it as a rather matter-of-fact explanation of what seemingly has launched Sidwell into its own class over the past decade. Many of our native Washingtonian friends tell us that even fifteen to twenty years ago Georgetown Day School, National Cathedral School/St. Albans School, and Sidwell Friends School were all considered virtual equals, with NCS/STA having a slight advantage as the school of choice of DC power brokers and moneyed families, and thus with slightly better college matriculation state at that time.

It is a fact, not a snark, that children of the wealthy, or connected, or powerful enjoy a disproportionate (i.e., greater than their 1% numbers) percentage of admissions to the H/P/S/Ys. In the past, NCS/STA enjoyed the benefits of that advantage, and now we have cycled into Sidwell being the primary benficiary of those advantages.

Please note that I used the word "earned" to say how these students gain their admissions. Again, I meant no offense to Sidwell, to you as a Sidwell parent, or to your Sidwell students. I apologize.

I appreciate the apology and clarification. With full respect to you, I am not sure your description of the history of DC schools as learned from your friends is an accurate one, so I don't see it as quite so "matter-of-fact." I also think some of your language choices (e.g., "won the lottery" and "generation of strivers") are loaded ones you would not appreciate being applied to your children or their schools. Moreover, since you do not have personal experience with the school, perhaps your second-hand impression of the parent community is incomplete. I do appreciate your emphasis on how the students "earned" their college placements, regardless of what upbringing or advantages they might've enjoyed, just as I'm sure you would want people to agree that your own children "earned" their successes regardless of the advantages they might've had. Even if I disagree with them, I take your word that your comments were meant in good faith and not intended as jabs. Coming in the middle of a thread that is light on substance and heavy on attacks, perhaps I saw your description of school where you don't have any experience as just more of the same. Again, I appreciate you apology for your comments; such apologies are even rarer on DCUM than in real life so it speaks well of you that you'd offer one.

"Won the lottery" is an old-fashioned, Midwestern expression I use to connote something really good, but not necessarily expected, happening to someone. My own parents "won the lottery" when they sold for over a million dollars a farmstead they had bought for a few tens of thousands in the mid-1970s, to a Fortune 500 American company in the mid 1980s. In the same sense, Sidwell Friends School "won the lottery" when, first President Clinton, and later President Obama chose to send their daughters there. It was not necessarily anticipated by the school, but it has clearly had resounding benefits for the school. That is simply put in my Midwestern vernacular.

"Strivers" describes all of us who come to Washington, DC as well-educated, intelligent, and ambitious people, not necessarily from affluent backgrounds ourselves, who succeed here such that we can send our own children to these private schools. We are all "strivers" in that we are all striving to improve upon our own lot in life, and to have our children start out their adult lives in a stronger position than we began ours. "Strivers" is not an insult, it is just plain speak. I referred to a "generation" to temporally place this phenomenon in the ten or so years since recent Presidents sent their daughters to the school.

As for personal experience, we did visit and research the school before our children decided not to apply there. We also have many close friends and professional associates who are part of the school's community. I have one close friend at the school in particular who will readily admit and confess to you his or her 'pretense', 'ambition', and/or 'striving'. Without divulging specific details with might identify either of us, I will relate this story. My friend and I have known each other since high school when we competed in the same activity for different high schools in our State. Both of us attended local Colleges (in his or her case our Big State University), followed by Public Graduate Schools, before reconnecting again as professionals in Washington. My friend is an accomplished and respected professional with the ability to fund their children's Sidwell education. Our older children are about the same age, and her or his oldest currently also attends a H/P/Y/S. At their respective private DC schools, each of our children competed in variations of the activity that my friend and I had excelled at during our own high school years. However, he or she purposely restricted their child's participation to an easier variation of that activity, and prohibited them from attending certain competitions that we had routinely attended as high school students ourselves. When I asked him or her why this was the case, especially since they had been a star of this activity back in the day and still loved it, my friend honestly and candidly responded, "because I want them to attend H/P/Y/S." Of pertinence to this discussion, she or he informed me that Sidwell discouraged their child's outside participation in this time-consuming pursuit because it would take too much time away from their studies. According to her the school had college admissions down to a science (which it clearly does) which did not justify the 'risk' of a sustained commitment to this activity. In contrast, my oldest child spent many wonderful moments of their high school years making friends from around the country and competing in the same activity that my friend and I had benefited and learned so much from as teenagers. And they did so with the support of their school. My friend's and my oldest child both ended up at the H/S/Ys, and I have noted for them the irony that someone who themselves succeeded resoundingly out of Big State University felt that they had to limit their child's participation in an activity they loved in the pursuit of the H/P/S/Y formula. To their credit, my friend has expressed regret about that decision.

Be careful, your passive aggression is showing.

[Anonymous]

Why it is that some posters come on these threads to argue with and challenge other posters about any little thing that might be perceived as the smallest slight to the Sidwell? Or worse yet, why do some posters insult or belittle other posters offering anything less than the rosiest point of view about the School. This isn't the 1918 Russia, and other posters aren't some party members whose conduct or language we should be seeking to reprimand or control. When we do so, demanding apologies and such, it comes across as condescending and is quite offputting. I mean are these really School parents, or just a terrible attempt at PR by someone? No school is perfect, and when we revert to shutting down anything but the most glowing reviews of Sidwell, then that is an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It got popular when Chelsea went there, and then when the Obama girls went there. This city is full of a$$ kissers, and people wanted to be there just to be able to say they send their kids to school with the president's kids.

Sorry, but it was popular well before the Clintons.

-- DC native and independent school grad.

It was popular but not nearly as elitist or showy. That came with the 'fame.'
- SFS alum

[Anonymous]

Before the Clintons, and certainly after the Obamas chose the school for their children, it went from being on par with the others and somewhat less insider-ish than either STA and NCS, to being the most overtly concerned with money, connections, and insider status of the bunch. Somewhere along the way, the real meaning and spirit of our Quaker values as practiced in the old days was lost. Sometimes too much popularity and too many connections morph into a less healthy pretense and over concern with the status markets of a material world. I used to consider among the most values driven school, but not so today. GDS today is probably more akin to the Sidwell of old. I wish it could go back to the way it was.

[Anonymous]

I know that everyone wants to believe the narrative that only the rich and connected have access to schools like HYPS, but the evidence from our experience at SFS doesn't support. Sure, the school attracts a disproportionate number of highly educated parents. But, HYPS affiliated parents are a dime a dozen in the DC area. And of the 20 kids from my daughter's class now attending HYPS, you wouldn't be able to find the parents of 18 of them if you googled them. It is a good school that attracts very good students. It then makes them work hard, focusing on the right things such critical thinking over multiple choice test taking. I can understand not subscribing to their educational philosophy or culture. The bona fides as a prep school are pretty hard to dispute.

[Anonymous]

Genuine question: if your child graduated Hs already, why be in the DCUM privates board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuine question: if your child graduated Hs already, why be in the DCUM privates board?

Gee, didn't know that there was a one-couple, one-child rule like in China???