Things that people say that make them sound too pretentious

[Anonymous]

"Do you know who I am?"


Winner! This one will be hard to beat...


Oh, this is easy to nip in the bud. One of my favorite stories is when someone said this to a gate attendant of an airline. She promptly got on the PA system and asked for any companions of this woman to come forward since the woman evidently didn't know who she was.

Pretentious story ~ my father would be approached by strangers who would say, "you look like somebody". He would introduce himself. His name and face was in the news. But then they would say, "no, no, that's not it" and argue with him about who he was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Totes! (Short for Totally)
2, True story (When describing an event which sounds a bit 'out there'

All said by the most irritating woman on earth.

Maybe irritating, but not pretentious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have these metal file cabinet/shelf things in our office and some guy insists on calling them "credenzas."

Maybe he insists on calling them credenzas because they are credenzas? The definition of "credenza" is "those desk-height office-furniture things that you put stuff in and that go along a wall".

[Anonymous]

An ex's mother (Long Island, North Shore) told him I had thin wrists and ankles, which meant "good breeding." Ugh....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"the data say"

I'm probably just missing something, but what's wrong with this one? I thought it was the correct phrase.

If you use this, you either sound like a pretentious twat, or you sound functionally illiterate. I don't care that your overlords told you it is "correct".

Illiterate? Data is plural. Datum is singular. You don't need an overlord to know this; try a dictionary.

Who determined the words in the dictionary? Who determined that you would use a dictionary? Who wrote the dictionary? Who told you to correct this very post I am writing?

Bow down, peasant. Your false sense of superiority is hilarious you serf.

[Anonymous]

We were waiting outside the pediatrician's office with our newborn, and this white-haired woman straight out of central casting for upper-class WASPy WASP walked by and said, in the thickest Boston Brahmin accent I've ever heard outside of a film, "Well now, that is a well-shaped baby's head. I've never seen such a well-shaped baby's head."

Not pretentious, really, but funny. We were like, "Thanks!" because we couldn't think of anything else to say. "Well, she shot out like a rocket, so her head didn't have time to get deformed"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were waiting outside the pediatrician's office with our newborn, and this white-haired woman straight out of central casting for upper-class WASPy WASP walked by and said, in the thickest Boston Brahmin accent I've ever heard outside of a film, "Well now, that is a well-shaped baby's head. I've never seen such a well-shaped baby's head."

Not pretentious, really, but funny. We were like, "Thanks!" because we couldn't think of anything else to say. "Well, she shot out like a rocket, so her head didn't have time to get deformed"?

I hope I remember this story when I get old so I can say this to someone. (I'll need to work on the accent.) This is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a Seinfeld episode!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"Do you know who I am?"


Winner! This one will be hard to beat...


Oh, this is easy to nip in the bud. One of my favorite stories is when someone said this to a gate attendant of an airline. She promptly got on the PA system and asked for any companions of this woman to come forward since the woman evidently didn't know who she was.

Pretentious story ~ my father would be approached by strangers who would say, "you look like somebody". He would introduce himself. His name and face was in the news. But then they would say, "no, no, that's not it" and argue with him about who he was.

When Reese Witherspoon's husband was pulled over, she came out of the car drunk and slurred to the cop, "Do you know who I am?" As if we needed another reason to find her annoying...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have these metal file cabinet/shelf things in our office and some guy insists on calling them "credenzas."

Maybe he insists on calling them credenzas because they are credenzas? The definition of "credenza" is "those desk-height office-furniture things that you put stuff in and that go along a wall".

NP. Interesting. I didn't know that usage. All my life, I've heard it used to describe those wide, heavy dining room cabinets that are about waist or chest high. No one seems to have them anymore.

I've always tended to use words that people find pretentious simply because they're not core vocabulary. They're not ten-dollar words, they're just a little more specific or subtle in meaning than the most broad and commonly used terms. I was always reading old books as a kid, and lived inside my head a lot. I was mocked enough that I learned to censor myself. I don't censor my vocabulary around my kids, so they've absorbed a lot. They don't read much, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have these metal file cabinet/shelf things in our office and some guy insists on calling them "credenzas."

Maybe he insists on calling them credenzas because they are credenzas? The definition of "credenza" is "those desk-height office-furniture things that you put stuff in and that go along a wall".

NP. Interesting. I didn't know that usage. All my life, I've heard it used to describe those wide, heavy dining room cabinets that are about waist or chest high. No one seems to have them anymore.

I've always tended to use words that people find pretentious simply because they're not core vocabulary. They're not ten-dollar words, they're just a little more specific or subtle in meaning than the most broad and commonly used terms. I was always reading old books as a kid, and lived inside my head a lot. I was mocked enough that I learned to censor myself. I don't censor my vocabulary around my kids, so they've absorbed a lot. They don't read much, though.

I think those are called sideboards.

[Anonymous]

I don't watch television.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"the data say"

I'm probably just missing something, but what's wrong with this one? I thought it was the correct phrase.

If you use this, you either sound like a pretentious twat, or you sound functionally illiterate. I don't care that your overlords told you it is "correct".

Wow. I usually go with "the data would indicate" or the "data supports." You must hate me. I don't care.
-a scientist

Perhaps your data are of no interest to the scientific community.

My point was that data doesn't "say" anything. It either supports or doesn't support a theory.

Omg. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think most of these examples qualify as pretentious.

I think it's pretentious when people are speaking English and suddenly pronounce a French or Spanish word like a native speaker. Or if they have a name like Suzanne and insist that you pronounce it "SuzAHN"

Unless they are French or Hispanic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have these metal file cabinet/shelf things in our office and some guy insists on calling them "credenzas."

Maybe he insists on calling them credenzas because they are credenzas? The definition of "credenza" is "those desk-height office-furniture things that you put stuff in and that go along a wall".

NP. Interesting. I didn't know that usage. All my life, I've heard it used to describe those wide, heavy dining room cabinets that are about waist or chest high. No one seems to have them anymore.

I've always tended to use words that people find pretentious simply because they're not core vocabulary. They're not ten-dollar words, they're just a little more specific or subtle in meaning than the most broad and commonly used terms. I was always reading old books as a kid, and lived inside my head a lot. I was mocked enough that I learned to censor myself. I don't censor my vocabulary around my kids, so they've absorbed a lot. They don't read much, though.

So because you don't know the meaning of a word, your office mate is pretentious?