If your teen suddenly announces s/he is transgender...

[Anonymous]

I think any rational person can't help but look around and see the number of kids who are transitioning and be sort of alarmed. I know I've seen a rash of this recently and I know there are kids who are transgender, it just doesn't seem like it should be this common? They are more of a unicorn, vs. something you should see in every family

[Anonymous]

I don't get how people on both sides of this can be so blind to facts. It's a really complicated issue that needs to be handled delicately, because the consequences when you leap to one side or another can be serious and long-lasting. Trans people exist, and if your kid is actually trans and you don't affirm that identity you are putting them at serious risk of depression, running away from home, suicide, and a host of other abhorrent outcomes. But obviously it's not a great idea to rush to put your kid on hormones the minute they challenge gender norms (I don't think many do this, for the record).

If you have a young kid who is questioning gender norms it's important to let them know that it's totally fine to be a boy and like dolls or be a girl and like trucks, or that boys can like boys, or what have you. If you have a child who persists in saying that they FEEL like they are one gender or the other, you need to see a specialist and probe how they feel and work with a team of professionals to decide on a plan of how to proceed, taking all the time that is necessary before undertaking treatment that can have permanent effects.

At the end of the day, any good parent should just want their child to be happy with who they are in the long term. You have to proceed carefully to make sure you can make that happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think any rational person can't help but look around and see the number of kids who are transitioning and be sort of alarmed. I know I've seen a rash of this recently and I know there are kids who are transgender, it just doesn't seem like it should be this common? They are more of a unicorn, vs. something you should see in every family

Unfortunately any suggestion in this direction is shut down hard. Look at what happenned to the Brown University professor's study that basically said it was something to look further into. Under criticism the university pulled the study. You're basically not allowed to ask any questions, at all. If you do, you're a trans-phobe.

I have serious concerns about the use of hormones for kids. Apparently it used to be that people had to live as the opposite gender for two years before going on hormones or getting surgery. Now that is considered "gate-keeping", and doesn't happen anymore. I think that's a big mistake, and 10 or 20 years down the road we're going to see the consequences of loosening this up, causing sterility and the other side effects from these drugs. Hormones do so much more than sex characteristics. Heart health, bone health, cancer concerns. It's not like just turning a boy/girl switch. There should be "gate-keepers" for people looking to go down this path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think any rational person can't help but look around and see the number of kids who are transitioning and be sort of alarmed. I know I've seen a rash of this recently and I know there are kids who are transgender, it just doesn't seem like it should be this common? They are more of a unicorn, vs. something you should see in every family

Unfortunately any suggestion in this direction is shut down hard. Look at what happenned to the Brown University professor's study that basically said it was something to look further into. Under criticism the university pulled the study. You're basically not allowed to ask any questions, at all. If you do, you're a trans-phobe.

I have serious concerns about the use of hormones for kids. Apparently it used to be that people had to live as the opposite gender for two years before going on hormones or getting surgery. Now that is considered "gate-keeping", and doesn't happen anymore. I think that's a big mistake, and 10 or 20 years down the road we're going to see the consequences of loosening this up, causing sterility and the other side effects from these drugs. Hormones do so much more than sex characteristics. Heart health, bone health, cancer concerns. It's not like just turning a boy/girl switch. There should be "gate-keepers" for people looking to go down this path.

+1
Don't promote confusion. Whether a koolaid cult, a Marxist utopia or an individual delusion, Reality always wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone on here trans? Jesus Christ what a skewed conversation this is.

Yes, there are some crazy one-sided anti-trans posts on here. I suspect many written by the same person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:or you could reach out to PFLAG, the gender clinic at Children's https://childrensnational.org/news-and-events/childrens-newsroom/2015/childrens-national-opens-youth-pride-clinic-for-district-lgbt-youth or any number of other resources.

Jut because your child's announcement seems "sudden" to you doesn't mean that it hasn't been well thought out by the child over a long period of time.

Trans kids are at huge risk of suicide and other self-harming behaviors. Family support is a tremendous protective factor.

Whether your child eventually decides to transition or not is less important than whether your child is happy, healthy, and alive.

Stop spreading this stuff! Before your child does anything dramatic find out what else could be going on. Anxiety, depression, trauma, not fitting in. Studies have shown teens who transition are just as unhappy as they were pretransition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:or you could reach out to PFLAG, the gender clinic at Children's https://childrensnational.org/news-and-events/childrens-newsroom/2015/childrens-national-opens-youth-pride-clinic-for-district-lgbt-youth or any number of other resources.

Jut because your child's announcement seems "sudden" to you doesn't mean that it hasn't been well thought out by the child over a long period of time.

Trans kids are at huge risk of suicide and other self-harming behaviors. Family support is a tremendous protective factor.

Whether your child eventually decides to transition or not is less important than whether your child is happy, healthy, and alive.

Let me just state right here that if ever faced with this, PFLAG and other pro-gay groups are the very last that I would reach out to.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS. When I was a kid, I was constantly being told that being bisexual was “trendy”, “a fad”, “you’ll grow out of it”. I’m in my 30s, still 100% bisexual. I had several trans& gender non conforming friends as a teen growing up in Herndon. My parents modeled respect, and kindness and it wasn’t a big deal even pre-marriage equality and repeal of DADT. My dad had a coworker in 1993 transition over the Christmas holidays, she came back and said “My name is now ___, my pronouns are she/her” and it was nbd bc she was great at her high tech job. More people are trans nowadays, they’re just spending less of their lifetime hiding in shame and distress. That’s a good thing.

Yes. But how is this relevant ? Being bisexual doesn’t involve you making permanent changes to your body.

Exactly. Moreover, it is unclear that ppl who transition can ever have a real sex life (orgasm) and may become sterile. Not a parallel with bisexuality. Bisexual ppl are much less likely to be depressed or suicidal after they come out too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't give into this trendy bullshit. Tell your child he or she is beautiful the way he or she is. Tell your child that boys can wear pink and girls can wear camo. Don't encourage them to disassociate from their bodies. It is parents' job to help children to love themselves as they are and to help them reach their dreams from a place of reality, not a place of delusion. Help your child have the courage to be a feminine male and be proud of himself and live in the real world with a healthy body, not one crippled by sterility and ill-health from estrogen. Stop the madness, seriously.

The best advice yet.