Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You over scheduled.

Huh? We just got notice of the date of younger son's activity but had already reserved a party place for older son. There's a conflict, but not because of too many activities.

Dance recitals are scheduled way in advance. Fess up, OP, you didn't plan ahead and now you have a conflict.

Tell younger DS that one parent will be at the recital and record his section so that the whole family can watch it later together.

This is our first; how much advance notice do you usually get? Also, (off-topic, but since we are asking about what's typical) is it typical to charge $75 for it? LOL, this is turning into a VERY expensive day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's rude to expect parents to leave their kids with a random relative for a drop-off event. And, now you're saying that Aunt wouldn't even be there the whole time?

Do what you want to do, OP, because you're not going to take anyone's advice anyway. Just know that the parents will probably talk about you/your family afterwards.

I think you might be misunderstanding. Originally, I suggested Aunt stay until we get there at 5 (party starts at 5, but can sign waivers at 4:40). People thought that parents might feel uncomfortable leaving a message for Aunt to give to me, so then I suggested that I could ask her to stay, so no one would feel that important messages were not getting passed on. I'm not sure what important messages, but I was trying to think of a way to solve the problem. The entire thread has been about different ways I could try to accommodate the points that people are making, so not sure why you think I'll do what I want. What I wanted was for our whole family to show up late, but since that's not appropriate the whole thing has been an exercise in what's the best thing we can come up with to accommodate all the people involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is insane. One parent goes with older kid to party on time, other parent goes to recital and explains to younger kid that they're very sorry but older kid's party was already scheduled and there will be guests there they are hosting etc.

I seriously cannot believe how much thought some of you are putting into this.

The "thought" being put into this thread is typical of DCUM. The OP has a scheduling conflict that she might have avoided with better planning. In DCUM land, this makes her the subject of sarcastic comments, scorn, fake disbelief, and suggestions that she should not have had children. These posters can then feel better about their many mistakes and failures because AT LEAST they would NEVER do such an unforgivable thing as the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is insane. One parent goes with older kid to party on time, other parent goes to recital and explains to younger kid that they're very sorry but older kid's party was already scheduled and there will be guests there they are hosting etc.

I seriously cannot believe how much thought some of you are putting into this.

The "thought" being put into this thread is typical of DCUM. The OP has a scheduling conflict that she might have avoided with better planning. In DCUM land, this makes her the subject of sarcastic comments, scorn, fake disbelief, and suggestions that she should not have had children. These posters can then feel better about their many mistakes and failures because AT LEAST they would NEVER do such an unforgivable thing as the OP.

LOL! Don't forget moocher because we only have one car! (I've never asked for a ride from anyone before, btw).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is insane. One parent goes with older kid to party on time, other parent goes to recital and explains to younger kid that they're very sorry but older kid's party was already scheduled and there will be guests there they are hosting etc.

I seriously cannot believe how much thought some of you are putting into this.

The "thought" being put into this thread is typical of DCUM. The OP has a scheduling conflict that she might have avoided with better planning. In DCUM land, this makes her the subject of sarcastic comments, scorn, fake disbelief, and suggestions that she should not have had children. These posters can then feel better about their many mistakes and failures because AT LEAST they would NEVER do such an unforgivable thing as the OP.

LOL! Don't forget moocher because we only have one car! (I've never asked for a ride from anyone before, btw).

So are you taking PP's obvious suggestion?

[Anonymous]

The "thought" being put into this thread is typical of DCUM. The OP has a scheduling conflict that she might have avoided with better planning. In DCUM land, this makes her the subject of sarcastic comments, scorn, fake disbelief, and suggestions that she should not have had children. These posters can then feel better about their many mistakes and failures because AT LEAST they would NEVER do such an unforgivable thing as the OP.

I don't think her scheduling conflict or lack of thought ahead of time are the issue. That could happen to anyone. My issue with her is her supercilious attitude about people being unwilling/concerned to drop their kids off at a bounce place with the random aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You over scheduled.

Huh? We just got notice of the date of younger son's activity but had already reserved a party place for older son. There's a conflict, but not because of too many activities.

Dance recitals are scheduled way in advance. Fess up, OP, you didn't plan ahead and now you have a conflict.

Tell younger DS that one parent will be at the recital and record his section so that the whole family can watch it later together.

This is our first; how much advance notice do you usually get? Also, (off-topic, but since we are asking about what's typical) is it typical to charge $75 for it? LOL, this is turning into a VERY expensive day.

I paid $75 for my kid's recital. But I also got notice of it back in March.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You over scheduled.

Huh? We just got notice of the date of younger son's activity but had already reserved a party place for older son. There's a conflict, but not because of too many activities.

Dance recitals are scheduled way in advance. Fess up, OP, you didn't plan ahead and now you have a conflict.

Tell younger DS that one parent will be at the recital and record his section so that the whole family can watch it later together.

This is our first; how much advance notice do you usually get? Also, (off-topic, but since we are asking about what's typical) is it typical to charge $75 for it? LOL, this is turning into a VERY expensive day.

I paid $75 for my kid's recital. But I also got notice of it back in March.

Oh, and it's not til June

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You over scheduled.

Huh? We just got notice of the date of younger son's activity but had already reserved a party place for older son. There's a conflict, but not because of too many activities.

Dance recitals are scheduled way in advance. Fess up, OP, you didn't plan ahead and now you have a conflict.

Tell younger DS that one parent will be at the recital and record his section so that the whole family can watch it later together.

This is our first; how much advance notice do you usually get? Also, (off-topic, but since we are asking about what's typical) is it typical to charge $75 for it? LOL, this is turning into a VERY expensive day.

I paid $75 for my kid's recital. But I also got notice of it back in March.

So are you trying to be late to your own child's party because of the fee?

Just go together and one parent leave early with birthday child. This is not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You over scheduled.

Huh? We just got notice of the date of younger son's activity but had already reserved a party place for older son. There's a conflict, but not because of too many activities.

Dance recitals are scheduled way in advance. Fess up, OP, you didn't plan ahead and now you have a conflict.

Tell younger DS that one parent will be at the recital and record his section so that the whole family can watch it later together.

This is our first; how much advance notice do you usually get? Also, (off-topic, but since we are asking about what's typical) is it typical to charge $75 for it? LOL, this is turning into a VERY expensive day.

3-4 advance months notice. You have to register for the recital and pay a fee.

[Anonymous]

The obvious solution is to reschedule the party. Who cares if it is weeks out from the actual birthday. This way OP can be a proper host, the entire family can attend the dance recital, and the birthday gets celebrated.

OP you need to take advice from others because the very fact that you even thought it might be ok to be late to your own party shows your manners gauge is not properly calibrated. You obviously did not receive proper home training growing up. Teach your kids better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your younger son is being knighted, split the parents up.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

I think that one unacknowledged point of disagreement between the OP and some of her critics is over WHO is the host of the party. OP (and some of her supporters) presume that the event place is the host, and OP, her kid, and all of his friends are collectively the guests of the event place. They can all show up whenever they'd like, and the event place will take care of them. Others presume that OP and family are hosting the event, and the event place is the backdrop. Both interpretations are reasonable--though I personally fall squarely in the latter camp. We all know that hosts have to be there before the guests. We just can't agree on who the host is.

But what I really chimed in to say is that I'm not sure OP is thinking seriously enough about the worst case scenario. If everything goes EXACTLY right, whatever contingent of the family is coming from the recital will get to the party a few minutes late. If there are ANY unforseen complications--drama leaving the recital (younger child in tears because it didn't go well, child's costume gets mixed up with another child's costume, teacher wants everyone to stay for a group picture, whatever), OR if there's any traffic, some portion of the family is going to be significantly late to the party.

I could have been won over to the idea that it was okay for birthday boy and parents to arrive at the party start time (even if others get there earlier to sign waivers), but it's just WAY too big of a risk to not ensure that the birthday boy and at least one parent will be there by the start of the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that one unacknowledged point of disagreement between the OP and some of her critics is over WHO is the host of the party. OP (and some of her supporters) presume that the event place is the host, and OP, her kid, and all of his friends are collectively the guests of the event place. They can all show up whenever they'd like, and the event place will take care of them. Others presume that OP and family are hosting the event, and the event place is the backdrop. Both interpretations are reasonable--though I personally fall squarely in the latter camp. We all know that hosts have to be there before the guests. We just can't agree on who the host is.

But what I really chimed in to say is that I'm not sure OP is thinking seriously enough about the worst case scenario. If everything goes EXACTLY right, whatever contingent of the family is coming from the recital will get to the party a few minutes late. If there are ANY unforseen complications--drama leaving the recital (younger child in tears because it didn't go well, child's costume gets mixed up with another child's costume, teacher wants everyone to stay for a group picture, whatever), OR if there's any traffic, some portion of the family is going to be significantly late to the party.

I could have been won over to the idea that it was okay for birthday boy and parents to arrive at the party start time (even if others get there earlier to sign waivers), but it's just WAY too big of a risk to not ensure that the birthday boy and at least one parent will be there by the start of the party.

OP is the host family. The party place is simply the venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, thanks.

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late? No, younger son is not being knighted but it's his very first "thing" and he's got an individual part, so he is excited and wants both parents to be there and we both want to be there too. I think older son wants to see younger son, too, but he'd rather go to his birthday party if he had a choice.

that is fine