Great aticle on how middle class is struggling and not saving enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't quite me and I haven't made as many dumb financial decisions as the writer, but I am unlike most on DCUM, at least.

I am a single parent. I finally hit $90K this year. I could pay the $2000, but I would only have $4000 left in my emergency fund. I have enough saved for two years of state college for my teen. I have more than $4000 credit card debt, left over from a medical emergency. I have retirement savings, but nowhere near enough for someone who is 50.

I disagree that working hard equates to your income going up on a steady trajectory. I'm a writer/editor. Journalism has imploded over the last couple decades. I stay because I love what I do and I don't think I have the temperament or right kind of smarts to be a lobbyist or IT professional to rake in the big bucks.

I'm not exactly close to the edge, but closer than I'd like, and no one in real life knows that.

So the person you procreated with isn't financially supporting your teen? I'm a good writer and may have wanted journalism, but I wanted to be financially secure so I went into law. Where did you decide you had the luxury of going into a disappearing, very middle class profession?

You answered your own question. I'm not a lawyer because I don't want to be a pompous snob like you. Plus, there has never been a father in the picture. And journalism wasn't in a death spiral when I went into it in the late 80s.

Another poster. Wow you are a jealous tool. Life will be hard for you the older you get since apparently you have a huge chip on your shoulders.

Ps another well off attorney here who also writes on the side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

How are you living around the truly rich? surely you can't afford rent/mortgage in an UC neighborhood from what you described about yourself and your spouse. You can do a doctorate in literature as PhD programs offer assistanships and research scholarships for some well qualified doctoral students. With that you could teach or do something else other than non-profit admin.

To be honest, what you describe sounds a bit imaginary. How do you think people mistake you for UC? I can't imagine a conversation amongst a group of educated professionals in DC going something like "Wow, you certainly do seem and sound like you belong to the upper class". "you're an admin assistant, why, I never! I was sure you're from the upper crust, not like the rest of us". It just doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The article was too long for me. We are broke because we are paying down debt aggressively. Can borrow thousands at 3% for 15 months if necessary.
We are broke because we have 3 mortgages. Don't spend a whole lot or send kids to private school. Once the mortgages paid, should get easier.
I didn't plan to have any kids and he didn't plan to have any kids and therefore we didn't save much when we were single.
I think we will catch up, not stressing about it as we have a plan and have been following it closely.

Why do you have 3 mortgages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't think I know anyone personally who couldn't pay $400 or even 2k for an emergency like the writer. And DH and I come from middle class families with blue collar or middle class jobs. Maybe our younger, early 20s sisters couldn't cope with emergencies, but they're just starting out and graduating.

The recipe for success in America isn't that hard. Graduate, get married and don't have kids until you're married with dual incomes.

oh yea, it is that simple. just 1, 2,3. Shit never happens.

Are you young and inexperienced or just a simpleton? Life does not go along a straight line.

I went to college, graduate school, got laid off from a Fortune 500, unemployed for over a year. Found a job and got laid off after less than a year and did contract jobs in the past year for 6 months. I've been living off my savings in between the long-term unemployment, so I cannot move-up from a townhouse to a single family house, because I'm spending my down payment.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't summon up any sympathy at all for this guy. He just wants us to know how smart he and his kids are, and that he and they deserved the best by dint of their class and intelligence. I'd bet he supports politicians who would tax the hell out of those of us who've had more pedestrian lives and lucrative careers, and seize our assets at the first available opportunity. The fact that we live more frugally and build wealth only makes us targets for their picking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

Where do your parent's live?
It's said that one shouldn't wander over to the luxurious side of life or it's hard to go back!!
Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is not me. Because working hard to me means you are doing something that gets you results, so that your situation improves.

His income by his own admission was dwindling steadily over a long time. That's not working hard.

Sounds like he's working hard. Just not working smart. And not smart about managing money.

Yes I agree and it's too bad his wife didn't take an interest in the finances and work, at any job really. Her income could have gone into a retirement account and all would be well (assuming they left it alone!). I feel bad for them, they just didn't "get it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm really not surprised that a seemingly rational and sane person puts himself in a precarious financial state keeping up with the Joneses. This is very similar to my family's story. My dad was a high ranking government official and because of whom we grew up and mingled with the world elite. The government perks made it so we were able to keep up with the Joneses and the prestige his title afforded us more than made up for our lack of actual funds. We wined and dined like the rich and lived like rich even though we had no savings no college funds no home. Ultimately dad retired and his pension isn't enough to keep us afloat. My younger siblings work part time in retail and attend NOVA. I have developed very elite tastes and find it hard to live a "normal" MC life. My parents have no retirement savings and no home. Its awful.

+ 1 I struggle with the same. It's a form of child abuse in my opinion to grow up with pictures that just don't represent the real world in any way.
Good luck to you, don't let the anger eat you up. Jump over your pride. I dug myself out slowly but still feel like a fish out of water.

But what are you all doing as adults? OK, there are reasons to resent parents, but you, yourselves what are you doing to achieve the lifestyle that you want to have?

Well, I do not resent my parents. My parents went broke trying to provide for us the best of everything they had access to-at their own expense. Today they don't even have a home. I am forever grateful to them for introducing me to that world. Even now, people mistake me for an upper class person due to how I naturally carry myself and dress myself. I like to joke about how I am a kind of a white elephant. I relate more to the rich but cannot afford their life. I had to majorly downgrade my lifestyle upon my dad's retirement 5 years ago.

Part of being from that world was...I didn't go to college to earn a living. I studied Literature and am today a very poorly paid admin at a non profit in the area. My parents encouraged me to study what I wanted and to cultivate my mind and tastes and I had no idea that the rug would be pulled out of my feet upon graduation. I have tried to hold on to my old life by attempting to marry rich. HAHA. That did not pan out as my dh, although raised in a similar UC life growing up, also now has to fend for himself because his MC parents went broke financing his very expensive private education and vacations in France. We are both kind of confused, earning a MC living but living among and around the truly rich. I'd go back to school and earn a profitable degree but I have no money and do not want to get into debt. Its really quite a sick joke.

I don't understand how this even happens. Was there NO discussion of money in your home growing up or even when you were going off to college or graduating college? Your parents never clarified -- this gorgeous house and all these perks are bc of your dad's job and dad will retire in 3 yrs, so you'll be on your own and can't depend on us for a $2000 apartment even though your friends will have that bc your friend's father are investment banking and own those homes while we are civil servants (or whatever) and the home goes with the job?! You act like you grew up living the high life and one day your dad retired and you were totally cut off and never saw it coming -- is that how it happened? Or did you "know" that your parents weren't rich and somehow didn't believe it and decided English Lit was your passion, even when you knew you'd need to support yourself?

[Anonymous]

This guy is such a joke, as his income declines he goes from Brooklyn where he was paying for private school to the HAMPTONS, where the top 0.1% of New Yorkers live?? Had he never heard of the Bronx or Queens or Staten Island or NJ? Or were those simply not good enough for the life that he felt he "deserved" to lead bc he was following his passion of writing rather than "selling out" for an "establishment" job. Reminds me of every freaking Bernie supporter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, this made my blood boil:

"But, without getting too metaphysical about it, these are the choices that define who we are. We don’t make them with our financial well-being in mind, though maybe we should. We make them with our lives in mind. The alternative is to be another person."

Uh, fuck you, sir. I'm made literally every important decision in my life with my financial well-being in mind. Whether to marry when I did, how much to ask my parents to spend on the wedding (they chipped in $5K and DH and I paid $2K), what house to buy and where (and whether to compromise on location, size, schools, etc), how many kids to have, which career to follow (passionate about art but do that as a hobby and went into tech).

Making decisions "with our lives in mind" sounds a lot like hedonism if you're not considering your financial future. I'd love to buy a $1.5m house in North Arlington and be a creative and never sit at a desk or work on a schedule and have 4 kids, but realistically, I can't afford any of that. So I do as much as I can while still being careful and planning for rainy days.

The author sounds like an awful, awful person who condemns those who live carefully and thoughtfully as "not being their true selves" or something similar. What an evil, soulless, greedy asshole he is. I'm glad he's floundering and I hope he enjoys being the grasshopper when the winter comes.

Wow, you have a lot of hate and rage about someone who simply sees the world differently than you. Hope you're transmitting your open-minded, empathetic "values" to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This guy is such a joke, as his income declines he goes from Brooklyn where he was paying for private school to the HAMPTONS, where the top 0.1% of New Yorkers live?? Had he never heard of the Bronx or Queens or Staten Island or NJ? Or were those simply not good enough for the life that he felt he "deserved" to lead bc he was following his passion of writing rather than "selling out" for an "establishment" job. Reminds me of every freaking Bernie supporter.

Lol. Completely agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, this made my blood boil:

"But, without getting too metaphysical about it, these are the choices that define who we are. We don’t make them with our financial well-being in mind, though maybe we should. We make them with our lives in mind. The alternative is to be another person."

Uh, fuck you, sir. I'm made literally every important decision in my life with my financial well-being in mind. Whether to marry when I did, how much to ask my parents to spend on the wedding (they chipped in $5K and DH and I paid $2K), what house to buy and where (and whether to compromise on location, size, schools, etc), how many kids to have, which career to follow (passionate about art but do that as a hobby and went into tech).

Making decisions "with our lives in mind" sounds a lot like hedonism if you're not considering your financial future. I'd love to buy a $1.5m house in North Arlington and be a creative and never sit at a desk or work on a schedule and have 4 kids, but realistically, I can't afford any of that. So I do as much as I can while still being careful and planning for rainy days.

The author sounds like an awful, awful person who condemns those who live carefully and thoughtfully as "not being their true selves" or something similar. What an evil, soulless, greedy asshole he is. I'm glad he's floundering and I hope he enjoys being the grasshopper when the winter comes.

Wow, you have a lot of hate and rage about someone who simply sees the world differently than you. Hope you're transmitting your open-minded, empathetic "values" to your kids.

I agree with PP's point. She does sound angry but the writer comes across as someone with a vaguely patronizing, "holier than thou" attitude, but is doing his best to hide it. I would be angry too but it sounds like the asshole is getting his comeuppance, so why bother. At any rate, the fact that millions of Americans work hard as hell, don't spend beyond their means, still struggle to make ends meet, and define the real "struggling middle class" goes over this guy's head.

[Anonymous]

Typical nonsense. I want to refuse to believe that most people who could have been responsible with money--because they made at least some of it--could be this dumb.

I have no gripes with people who live on the edge financially because they make jack shit and are trying to raise kids on 40K a year or whatever. I have a big goddamn problem with people who make plenty of money and can't manage it responsibly. When my law firm imploded circa 2010, I knew highly-paid lawyers who absolutely not cover their expenses for more than a month. Disgusting. You know what? Being financially responsible is fucking boring. It's not fun. But the peace of mind is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't quite me and I haven't made as many dumb financial decisions as the writer, but I am unlike most on DCUM, at least.

I am a single parent. I finally hit $90K this year. I could pay the $2000, but I would only have $4000 left in my emergency fund. I have enough saved for two years of state college for my teen. I have more than $4000 credit card debt, left over from a medical emergency. I have retirement savings, but nowhere near enough for someone who is 50.

I disagree that working hard equates to your income going up on a steady trajectory. I'm a writer/editor. Journalism has imploded over the last couple decades. I stay because I love what I do and I don't think I have the temperament or right kind of smarts to be a lobbyist or IT professional to rake in the big bucks.

I'm not exactly close to the edge, but closer than I'd like, and no one in real life knows that.

So the person you procreated with isn't financially supporting your teen? I'm a good writer and may have wanted journalism, but I wanted to be financially secure so I went into law. Where did you decide you had the luxury of going into a disappearing, very middle class profession?

You answered your own question. I'm not a lawyer because I don't want to be a pompous snob like you. Plus, there has never been a father in the picture. And journalism wasn't in a death spiral when I went into it in the late 80s.

Another poster. Wow you are a jealous tool. Life will be hard for you the older you get since apparently you have a huge chip on your shoulders.

Ps another well off attorney here who also writes on the side.

Wow. It's because, not since. Since references time. And you are a lawyer, but represent someone as their attorney. Ok we are all the baddest now Nite nite.