DC or NYC which is the best city to raise a family in the suburbs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former NYers, who moved from Brooklyn and Manhattan, where did you settle and did you like it, did you try to find something similar to your neighbourhoods, or you wanted something different altogether?

We moved from a coop on the upper west side to a house in AU park. We spent a bit more and have 3-4 times the space. Life here is much easier.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Hands down DC, for all the reasons others have said. We moved here from Brooklyn (Park Slope) because this was a better/easier area to raise our family. We love NYC, but unless I had several million dollars and could afford a decent sized apartment in Manhattan, I would never move back there with kids.

Amen!

-Former Fort Greene resident

I agree. We moved here from Cobble Hill with 2 young children.

Not surprising, you can get rowhouse living in DC for so much cheaper than Brooklyn and you don't even have to move to the burbs to have an SFH.

But you get real urban amenities in Brooklyn. When we lived in a DC row house we still drove most places because the local offerings got old very fast.

Have spent plenty of time in Brooklyn. Mt P has places like Park Slope beaten on the amenities front.

[Anonymous]

In terms of commute, many people in Fairfield County CT don't work in NYC. when I grew up there, very few of my parents friends or my friend's parents worked in "the city." Many worked in Stamford, Danbury or Greenwich. I think that is more true now with all the hedge funds. if I was choosing between living and working in NY burbs vs DC burbs, I'd choose NY burbs every time. However, if I had to commute into NYC or DC, I'd prefer the DC burbs for a shorter commute/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hands down DC, for all the reasons others have said. We moved here from Brooklyn (Park Slope) because this was a better/easier area to raise our family. We love NYC, but unless I had several million dollars and could afford a decent sized apartment in Manhattan, I would never move back there with kids.

Amen!

-Former Fort Greene resident

I agree. We moved here from Cobble Hill with 2 young children.

Not surprising, you can get rowhouse living in DC for so much cheaper than Brooklyn and you don't even have to move to the burbs to have an SFH.

But you get real urban amenities in Brooklyn. When we lived in a DC row house we still drove most places because the local offerings got old very fast.

Have spent plenty of time in Brooklyn. Mt P has places like Park Slope beaten on the amenities front.

Oh God, no. Not even close. What exactly are you smoking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of commute, many people in Fairfield County CT don't work in NYC. when I grew up there, very few of my parents friends or my friend's parents worked in "the city." Many worked in Stamford, Danbury or Greenwich. I think that is more true now with all the hedge funds. if I was choosing between living and working in NY burbs vs DC burbs, I'd choose NY burbs every time. However, if I had to commute into NYC or DC, I'd prefer the DC burbs for a shorter commute/

NYC suburbs have far longer commute and are far more expensive. OP said she can budget 1m for a house easily, however a 1m house in NYC will cost at least 3x-4x more in property tax.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Lots of good perspectives, thanks. I was born and raised in DC . Lived in the south some. The energy of NYC is interesting and the people, neighborhoods, etc seem much more interesting.

DC is still growing a lot, still seems like a sleepy town on the weekends. New Yorkers, from my limited experience, seem to go out more?

[Anonymous]

The OP asked for the best city from a suburb perspective. So my answer is based on that and not taking into account where the breadwinner may be working (city or suburban town).

I prefer the New York suburbs to the DC suburbs for the simple reason that most of the suburbs are organized around an original small town or village (even if it just a train station stop with a block or two of retail). It gives each suburb an identity. I like how most of the suburban towns are a mixture of the old and new and you can pick from the more urban suburbs such as lower Westchester versus the more open, more quasi "rural" (ok rural is stretching it but you know what I mean) suburbs of northern Westchester. Each town tends to have its own school district which helps to reinforce the identity of the town.

The Washington suburbs are not organized like the NYC suburbs. On the whole, they're much newer, much more "suburbanish" and don't have much in the way of local identity. There are exceptions, of course.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks. I am learning a lot. No decision is perfect but we try our best. I am a Cpa btw. Small regional firms. I love dc but am intrigued by the energy of NY. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP asked for the best city from a suburb perspective. So my answer is based on that and not taking into account where the breadwinner may be working (city or suburban town).

I prefer the New York suburbs to the DC suburbs for the simple reason that most of the suburbs are organized around an original small town or village (even if it just a train station stop with a block or two of retail). It gives each suburb an identity. I like how most of the suburban towns are a mixture of the old and new and you can pick from the more urban suburbs such as lower Westchester versus the more open, more quasi "rural" (ok rural is stretching it but you know what I mean) suburbs of northern Westchester. Each town tends to have its own school district which helps to reinforce the identity of the town.

The Washington suburbs are not organized like the NYC suburbs. On the whole, they're much newer, much more "suburbanish" and don't have much in the way of local identity. There are exceptions, of course.

Orginally from Westchester now living in Bethesda. This accurately describes Westchester (as well as the Northern NJ suburbs and Long Island) The way you really see the difference is the schools. MoCo has one school district of 140,000 students. In the NY suburbs you won't have anything like this. This does however impact taxes. If we lived in a similar house, our property taxes would be 2x-3x more depending on the house. Income taxes and car insurance are also extremely high. If you work in NYC, most people take the train into the city to commute. Driving is just a complete waste of time. Commuting costs in Metro North can run $300 - $400 a month plus parking costs. It can alos be hard to meet people as many have loved in these towns all their lives. We found this area more open to newcomers.

We would not move back to NY because our standard of living is better here but we do miss the food!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Lots of good perspectives, thanks. I was born and raised in DC . Lived in the south some. The energy of NYC is interesting and the people, neighborhoods, etc seem much more interesting.

DC is still growing a lot, still seems like a sleepy town on the weekends. New Yorkers, from my limited experience, seem to go out more?

People with kids in general go out less than DINKs, it is true for NYC just as much as it is true for any smaller town, especially while living in the burbs.

We live in Manhattan now, used to live in DC as DINKs and in NYC as DINKs and then as parents of two kids for 7 years. There is more energy in NYC hands down, it's noticeable, there is so much more to do, and just walking around will give you different perspectives. NYC is huge and diverse, you can go and visit different neighbourhoods and feel like you are travelling to different cities. But you have kids, kids have school and activities and friends, they want to see on weekends. We go around quite a bit on Saturdays, but Sundays are usually spent in our local area attending sports activities for our kids, and staying around our local playgrounds, because this is what the kids want. Most families stay local to their neighbourhood on weekends, let's say if you live in UES or UWS, you are likely to go out around there, unless kids bday parties or some other scheduled events, like shows or planned museum trips. Usually people rarely go impromptu across town to another neighbourhood, as theirs has all the necessities. We are the people, who get around more than average, and do more things impromptu than other families and still we definitely don't go out as much as to take advantage of a lot of amenities, like we could as DINKs. Disposable income is also lower and we have to budget how many costly things or restaurant outings we can afford, most people have such limits.

When kids were little and in strollers we just took them around wherever we wanted, taking long walks. On scooters and on foot kids are somehow a lot less "portable", when it comes to walking distances, and we have to rely on PT, which can be a pain. When kids reach K age, they also have minds of their own and refuse to go where you want to go.

This is my perspective on living in the city, I have never lived in NYC burbs and cannot give you this perspective, but from what I know and what I heard from others, you will be going out even less there and will be more prone to do things locally, local restaurants, local playgrounds and local friends, etc. You will be using the car on weekends and perhaps driving to the beach or other nature things more often than we do, living in the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Lots of good perspectives, thanks. I was born and raised in DC . Lived in the south some. The energy of NYC is interesting and the people, neighborhoods, etc seem much more interesting.

DC is still growing a lot, still seems like a sleepy town on the weekends. New Yorkers, from my limited experience, seem to go out more?

People with kids in general go out less than DINKs, it is true for NYC just as much as it is true for any smaller town, especially while living in the burbs.

We live in Manhattan now, used to live in DC as DINKs and in NYC as DINKs and then as parents of two kids for 7 years. There is more energy in NYC hands down, it's noticeable, there is so much more to do, and just walking around will give you different perspectives. NYC is huge and diverse, you can go and visit different neighbourhoods and feel like you are travelling to different cities. But you have kids, kids have school and activities and friends, they want to see on weekends. We go around quite a bit on Saturdays, but Sundays are usually spent in our local area attending sports activities for our kids, and staying around our local playgrounds, because this is what the kids want. Most families stay local to their neighbourhood on weekends, let's say if you live in UES or UWS, you are likely to go out around there, unless kids bday parties or some other scheduled events, like shows or planned museum trips. Usually people rarely go impromptu across town to another neighbourhood, as theirs has all the necessities. We are the people, who get around more than average, and do more things impromptu than other families and still we definitely don't go out as much as to take advantage of a lot of amenities, like we could as DINKs. Disposable income is also lower and we have to budget how many costly things or restaurant outings we can afford, most people have such limits.

When kids were little and in strollers we just took them around wherever we wanted, taking long walks. On scooters and on foot kids are somehow a lot less "portable", when it comes to walking distances, and we have to rely on PT, which can be a pain. When kids reach K age, they also have minds of their own and refuse to go where you want to go.

This is my perspective on living in the city, I have never lived in NYC burbs and cannot give you this perspective, but from what I know and what I heard from others, you will be going out even less there and will be more prone to do things locally, local restaurants, local playgrounds and local friends, etc. You will be using the car on weekends and perhaps driving to the beach or other nature things more often than we do, living in the city.

Do you own your own place? We would have been able to live the lifestyle you describe but would have been spending everything we make (rent and childcare) with the exception of retirement savings. We would have had to live like college students in our 30s to save money for a downpayment. In DC we will have a fully paid off house in 10 years.

I realize some people in NY rent for life and then retire somewhere less expensive but I have no desire to end up in Florida.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks. I am learning a lot. No decision is perfect but we try our best. I am a Cpa btw. Small regional firms. I love dc but am intrigued by the energy of NY. Thanks

If you like the energy of NYC, Los Angeles is an alternative. This South Pasadena house ( https://www.redfin.com/CA/South-Pasadena/2041-Alpha-St-91030/home/7003056) is listed for $999K. South Pas is a neighborhood with lots of character, a great shopping area, a metro stop, and excellent public schools. It is located approximately 15 minutes from Downtown LA (DLA), a straight shot down the 110. That part of LA is a wonderful place to raise kids (none of the west side excess) -- and any sport, arts, enrichment, schools you could possibly want to give your children are to be found no more than 15 minutes drives, with so many alternatives to any give offering. Plus, the great weather means everything is done outdoors all year round. And living in South Pas, your kids will walk or bike most places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you from originally, where can you get employment,,and what are your expectations? I'm from the NYC suburbs originally, and to me, NYC wins hands down. There's just no comparison between NYC and DC as cities.

However, if you grew up in middle America, are wedded to your car, and don't have sharp elbows, you may not like it there. Yes, commuter trains aren't fun, but as a general rule they work and the infrastructure is there to move people to and from them. I don't get people who drive into Manhattan for work - that is masochistic behavior. You will find a wider range of social classes relying on public transportation and their own feet to get around. Property taxes are much, much higher in NY/NJ/CT.

Completely agree. The real key is what brings you to NY vs. DC. If it is a really good job, then go to NYC and enjoy every minute of it. Do agree that in general people are more interpersonally competitive with each other there than here in DC. That said, public schools in middle to upper middle class neighborhoods are quite good, it is less transient that the DC area in general so your kids won't have to make new friends every few years. In general the housing stock in those areas is better maintained. I too have been looking the 800-$1m range around DC and to say I am underwhelmed is to put it politely. As people come and go locally so frequently there isn't a huge incentive to maintain a property, and thus it often isn't. Not so much around the city. If your jobs are in lower Manhattan or midtown west I'd look in Union County, NJ. Morris and Somerset counties are lovely but the commute can be a bit long. Maplewood is charming, older but updated primarily four squares and colonials. Stay on the west side of town; property taxes are very high, which is why you might take a good look at Westfield and/or Summit.

If one or both of you is working in Brooklyn or midtown east on south I'd look at Brooklyn and close in LI. For jobs around GC or up, try Connecticut or the Westchester 'burbs.

For families with less affluence DC can be quite a value proposition as the museums are free and the weather is a smidgin warmer. That even out in the humid summers. That said, I've seen a decline in the number of free events over the the past 10-15 years which may be a product of the having more affluent residents in general. E.g, instead of joining the sailing club to sail on the Chesapeake, people just buy their own boats these days. It is not quite as chummy as earlier.