Help! Need School Advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you PP, but everyone goes through your angst. There are some wonderful schools in DC, but so few spots. Imagine if you were a native born Spanish speaker who wanted to share your native tongue and cultural traditions with your children, but you never got a spot in any Spanish immersion school. Every year your children forget more and more Spanish, while others snagged the handful of spots left. It sucks. I really hope you find a school for your children that you love.

I meant to say OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I just want to be completely honest with you and let you know that the chances of you getting into a Spanish immersion school are very, very slim. You may have better luck in the 2017-18 lottery when your other child enters the lottery and you'll have more chances of them pulling each other up. However, your boy will be in 1st grade. You are in a pretty good location for many schools (many that are also harder to get into), but if you cast a wider net and lower expectations (Spanish and walkable to metro), you may have some luck next month.

My advise to you is (feel free to reverse order):
DCB (great Spanish charter)
Stokes Spanish (great Spanish charter)
MV (great Spanish charter)
Sela (Hebrew, if language is very important otherwise, I'd move this down a little)
ITS (great non language charter with strong teachers and Spanish as "special")
CMI (great non language charter with small classes and Spanish/Chinese as "specials")
Bridges (solid charter next door to DBC and even closer to metro)
Bancroft (reverse commute, may sub Shining Stars)
Cleveland (solid DCPS with solid scores, reverse commute for you)
Tyler Spanish (solid DCPS in Cap Hill)
Lee (new but super-loved Montessori next door it ITS for two years with promise to stay in same area)
Capital City (solid charter with solid history, feeds to middle/high and few blocks up N Capitol)

There is a catholic private in mt pleasant area that is Spanish and very affordable ($6k +$1800 aftercare) and could buy you another year in the lottery http://sacredheartschooldc.org/tuition We have a friend there that is pretty happy. If this is out of your price range, I would probably add bigger safety (Breakthrough maybe?, Burroughs) in the list somewhere or give it a college try at your IB (LaSalle?). Maybe add Stokes French as an option (not as popular as Spanish).

Another Catholic private option is St. Anthony in Brookland--tuition is about the same ($6K + $1800 aftercare).
And I have heard current parents raving about SELA--they love it, as do their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Something else that may or may not be important: At this time my son identifies as a boy, but expresses as a girl (i.e. has long hair that he likes to wear in braids with pretty hair clips, wears dresses most days, loves his Elsa shoes). This may change, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. It came on gradually, but has been going on for a couple of years. At his preschool, the kids and parents were very accepting, though I think some of the kids actually thought he was a girl. Obviously, I want him to go to school in an equally accepting environment. I realize there will always be challenges with gender nonconforming, but the more we can minimize that, the better. I will of course speak to the management of whatever school we end up at, but are there schools that we should particularly avoid or seek out based on this?

Strange that I (who don't generally bother with girly stuff) ended up with 2 girly girls (even if one of them is a boy).

Given this, I would look into CMI. It is a very accepting, warm environment with lots of kids who don't necessarily fit into a mold. It's also pretty tiny and everyone knows everyone else. It may be the place you're looking for, if it's not too inconvenient. They're also expanding enrollment for next year, so your son may have a better shot than in other years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I just want to be completely honest with you and let you know that the chances of you getting into a Spanish immersion school are very, very slim. You may have better luck in the 2017-18 lottery when your other child enters the lottery and you'll have more chances of them pulling each other up. However, your boy will be in 1st grade. You are in a pretty good location for many schools (many that are also harder to get into), but if you cast a wider net and lower expectations (Spanish and walkable to metro), you may have some luck next month.

My advise to you is (feel free to reverse order):
DCB (great Spanish charter)
Stokes Spanish (great Spanish charter)
MV (great Spanish charter)
Sela (Hebrew, if language is very important otherwise, I'd move this down a little)
ITS (great non language charter with strong teachers and Spanish as "special")
CMI (great non language charter with small classes and Spanish/Chinese as "specials")
Bridges (solid charter next door to DBC and even closer to metro)
Bancroft (reverse commute, may sub Shining Stars)
Cleveland (solid DCPS with solid scores, reverse commute for you)
Tyler Spanish (solid DCPS in Cap Hill)
Lee (new but super-loved Montessori next door it ITS for two years with promise to stay in same area)
Capital City (solid charter with solid history, feeds to middle/high and few blocks up N Capitol)

There is a catholic private in mt pleasant area that is Spanish and very affordable ($6k +$1800 aftercare) and could buy you another year in the lottery http://sacredheartschooldc.org/tuition We have a friend there that is pretty happy. If this is out of your price range, I would probably add bigger safety (Breakthrough maybe?, Burroughs) in the list somewhere or give it a college try at your IB (LaSalle?). Maybe add Stokes French as an option (not as popular as Spanish).

Another Catholic private option is St. Anthony in Brookland--tuition is about the same ($6K + $1800 aftercare).
And I have heard current parents raving about SELA--they love it, as do their children.

If you have a Jewish, girly boy the last place in the world is a Catholic school. Homosexual behavior is still considered to be a sin. http://www.catholic.com/tracts/homosexuality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Went to CMI Open House tonight. Kids were ready to melt down by the time we got home, but my son is no longer convinced that kindergarten is a bad idea. The school sounds great, but they have exactly zero openings for kindergarten. The lady I spoke to was very reassuring, seemed pretty sure we'd find a good fit. We shall see.

This is no longer true. CMI is going to add spaces for K for this year.

[Anonymous]

Smooglie wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post could have been mine a little over a decade ago (DCUM didn't exist yet, just playground chatter). Bought a house, then had a child, and, well, okay, let's see, I think that baby needs to go to school some place. People looked at us in horror that we hadn't considered that way ahead of buying a house and, God forbid, conceiving a child. The school nearby, we were told, short of tortured children and was absolutely abysmal. And didn't we know that, how BAD the schools are?! (Are you stupid or what?) Well, we went on to having two children, thinking it really can't be THAT bad. And, you know what, it wasn't at all. OUR kids did really well in that "abysmal" school, where by the way they were never tortured, not even yelled at ever. They grew up to be excellent students, cheerful, driven, playful, and really very smart and well educated. They've passed several reputed tests all around; we aren't just hoping, we know. And, because we both work and don't really spend that much time hovering over homework - no tutors and all - we know that school deserves credit.

All this to say, take a deep breath and proceed with confidence!

Thank you!!

My main concern with our local school is teasing. The school is 0% white (we are about as white as it gets - and Jewish, to boot) and my sweet, sensitive boy looks like a beautiful girl. Can you say DIFFERENT?! I'm a big fan of diversity, but 0% white is hardly diverse. If he was more like my daughter - very outgoing, confident, gregarious - I wouldn't worry so much, but he's shy and gets his feelings hurt very easily.

Here's hoping we get in *somewhere*.

Here's the thing. My son is THE white kid at school. It's less than 0.5% white. There was a mixed race child last year (at least one year younger) who always had a princess tiara painted on his face at after school parties/events. No one ever said anything (despite our school being the antithesis of what DCUM finds acceptable - 95%+ AA, 75% or more FARMS) except to comment on how adorable he was. He did have short hair, and the kids all wear uniforms, but no one was concerned about it.

If you're concerned about teasing, take your child to an open house. Visit, introduce him to the tour guide, and then ask how the school handles teasing. They should have some good answers. My son's father (who lives in another state), has worried about my son getting teased since PK3. It has never happened. My ex has constantly worried about my son getting bullied - it has never been an issue. Not once. The only thing that ever happened was some kids wanted to touch his hair when he first started because they didn't know what blond hair felt like. It was observed by the teachers, who said that it didn't bother my son and the other children were being gentle but curious. They did say that if it had bothered my son they would have stopped it.

The more you post the more it sounds like you are looking for an environment that will treat your child like a special snowflake who needs coddling. I think you are unlikely to find that (unless you go reggio or radical unschooling or small exclusive private), and should instead look for a school that will be accepting and that will challenge him academically. I wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Smooglie wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post could have been mine a little over a decade ago (DCUM didn't exist yet, just playground chatter). Bought a house, then had a child, and, well, okay, let's see, I think that baby needs to go to school some place. People looked at us in horror that we hadn't considered that way ahead of buying a house and, God forbid, conceiving a child. The school nearby, we were told, short of tortured children and was absolutely abysmal. And didn't we know that, how BAD the schools are?! (Are you stupid or what?) Well, we went on to having two children, thinking it really can't be THAT bad. And, you know what, it wasn't at all. OUR kids did really well in that "abysmal" school, where by the way they were never tortured, not even yelled at ever. They grew up to be excellent students, cheerful, driven, playful, and really very smart and well educated. They've passed several reputed tests all around; we aren't just hoping, we know. And, because we both work and don't really spend that much time hovering over homework - no tutors and all - we know that school deserves credit.

All this to say, take a deep breath and proceed with confidence!

Thank you!!

My main concern with our local school is teasing. The school is 0% white (we are about as white as it gets - and Jewish, to boot) and my sweet, sensitive boy looks like a beautiful girl. Can you say DIFFERENT?! I'm a big fan of diversity, but 0% white is hardly diverse. If he was more like my daughter - very outgoing, confident, gregarious - I wouldn't worry so much, but he's shy and gets his feelings hurt very easily.

Here's hoping we get in *somewhere*.

Here's the thing. My son is THE white kid at school. It's less than 0.5% white. There was a mixed race child last year (at least one year younger) who always had a princess tiara painted on his face at after school parties/events. No one ever said anything (despite our school being the antithesis of what DCUM finds acceptable - 95%+ AA, 75% or more FARMS) except to comment on how adorable he was. He did have short hair, and the kids all wear uniforms, but no one was concerned about it.

If you're concerned about teasing, take your child to an open house. Visit, introduce him to the tour guide, and then ask how the school handles teasing. They should have some good answers. My son's father (who lives in another state), has worried about my son getting teased since PK3. It has never happened. My ex has constantly worried about my son getting bullied - it has never been an issue. Not once. The only thing that ever happened was some kids wanted to touch his hair when he first started because they didn't know what blond hair felt like. It was observed by the teachers, who said that it didn't bother my son and the other children were being gentle but curious. They did say that if it had bothered my son they would have stopped it.

The more you post the more it sounds like you are looking for an environment that will treat your child like a special snowflake who needs coddling. I think you are unlikely to find that (unless you go reggio or radical unschooling or small exclusive private), and should instead look for a school that will be accepting and that will challenge him academically. I wish you luck.

How do you know the school's farm rate is 75%? Don't they list as 99% once they hit the 40% mark?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Smooglie wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post could have been mine a little over a decade ago (DCUM didn't exist yet, just playground chatter). Bought a house, then had a child, and, well, okay, let's see, I think that baby needs to go to school some place. People looked at us in horror that we hadn't considered that way ahead of buying a house and, God forbid, conceiving a child. The school nearby, we were told, short of tortured children and was absolutely abysmal. And didn't we know that, how BAD the schools are?! (Are you stupid or what?) Well, we went on to having two children, thinking it really can't be THAT bad. And, you know what, it wasn't at all. OUR kids did really well in that "abysmal" school, where by the way they were never tortured, not even yelled at ever. They grew up to be excellent students, cheerful, driven, playful, and really very smart and well educated. They've passed several reputed tests all around; we aren't just hoping, we know. And, because we both work and don't really spend that much time hovering over homework - no tutors and all - we know that school deserves credit.

All this to say, take a deep breath and proceed with confidence!

Thank you!!

My main concern with our local school is teasing. The school is 0% white (we are about as white as it gets - and Jewish, to boot) and my sweet, sensitive boy looks like a beautiful girl. Can you say DIFFERENT?! I'm a big fan of diversity, but 0% white is hardly diverse. If he was more like my daughter - very outgoing, confident, gregarious - I wouldn't worry so much, but he's shy and gets his feelings hurt very easily.

Here's hoping we get in *somewhere*.

Here's the thing. My son is THE white kid at school. It's less than 0.5% white. There was a mixed race child last year (at least one year younger) who always had a princess tiara painted on his face at after school parties/events. No one ever said anything (despite our school being the antithesis of what DCUM finds acceptable - 95%+ AA, 75% or more FARMS) except to comment on how adorable he was. He did have short hair, and the kids all wear uniforms, but no one was concerned about it.

If you're concerned about teasing, take your child to an open house. Visit, introduce him to the tour guide, and then ask how the school handles teasing. They should have some good answers. My son's father (who lives in another state), has worried about my son getting teased since PK3. It has never happened. My ex has constantly worried about my son getting bullied - it has never been an issue. Not once. The only thing that ever happened was some kids wanted to touch his hair when he first started because they didn't know what blond hair felt like. It was observed by the teachers, who said that it didn't bother my son and the other children were being gentle but curious. They did say that if it had bothered my son they would have stopped it.

The more you post the more it sounds like you are looking for an environment that will treat your child like a special snowflake who needs coddling. I think you are unlikely to find that (unless you go reggio or radical unschooling or small exclusive private), and should instead look for a school that will be accepting and that will challenge him academically. I wish you luck.

How do you know the school's farm rate is 75%? Don't they list as 99% once they hit the 40% mark?

Because its a charter, and charters publish their actual FARMS rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Smooglie wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post could have been mine a little over a decade ago (DCUM didn't exist yet, just playground chatter). Bought a house, then had a child, and, well, okay, let's see, I think that baby needs to go to school some place. People looked at us in horror that we hadn't considered that way ahead of buying a house and, God forbid, conceiving a child. The school nearby, we were told, short of tortured children and was absolutely abysmal. And didn't we know that, how BAD the schools are?! (Are you stupid or what?) Well, we went on to having two children, thinking it really can't be THAT bad. And, you know what, it wasn't at all. OUR kids did really well in that "abysmal" school, where by the way they were never tortured, not even yelled at ever. They grew up to be excellent students, cheerful, driven, playful, and really very smart and well educated. They've passed several reputed tests all around; we aren't just hoping, we know. And, because we both work and don't really spend that much time hovering over homework - no tutors and all - we know that school deserves credit.

All this to say, take a deep breath and proceed with confidence!

Thank you!!

My main concern with our local school is teasing. The school is 0% white (we are about as white as it gets - and Jewish, to boot) and my sweet, sensitive boy looks like a beautiful girl. Can you say DIFFERENT?! I'm a big fan of diversity, but 0% white is hardly diverse. If he was more like my daughter - very outgoing, confident, gregarious - I wouldn't worry so much, but he's shy and gets his feelings hurt very easily.

Here's hoping we get in *somewhere*.

Here's the thing. My son is THE white kid at school. It's less than 0.5% white. There was a mixed race child last year (at least one year younger) who always had a princess tiara painted on his face at after school parties/events. No one ever said anything (despite our school being the antithesis of what DCUM finds acceptable - 95%+ AA, 75% or more FARMS) except to comment on how adorable he was. He did have short hair, and the kids all wear uniforms, but no one was concerned about it.

If you're concerned about teasing, take your child to an open house. Visit, introduce him to the tour guide, and then ask how the school handles teasing. They should have some good answers. My son's father (who lives in another state), has worried about my son getting teased since PK3. It has never happened. My ex has constantly worried about my son getting bullied - it has never been an issue. Not once. The only thing that ever happened was some kids wanted to touch his hair when he first started because they didn't know what blond hair felt like. It was observed by the teachers, who said that it didn't bother my son and the other children were being gentle but curious. They did say that if it had bothered my son they would have stopped it.

The more you post the more it sounds like you are looking for an environment that will treat your child like a special snowflake who needs coddling. I think you are unlikely to find that (unless you go reggio or radical unschooling or small exclusive private), and should instead look for a school that will be accepting and that will challenge him academically. I wish you luck.

You know, I was with you until the last paragraph. Your true colors are shining through, and it appears that you Have a chip on your shoulder.

[Anonymous]

What is FARMS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is FARMS?

Free and reduced meals. AKA, the poors that many DCUM parents are scared of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Smooglie wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post could have been mine a little over a decade ago (DCUM didn't exist yet, just playground chatter). Bought a house, then had a child, and, well, okay, let's see, I think that baby needs to go to school some place. People looked at us in horror that we hadn't considered that way ahead of buying a house and, God forbid, conceiving a child. The school nearby, we were told, short of tortured children and was absolutely abysmal. And didn't we know that, how BAD the schools are?! (Are you stupid or what?) Well, we went on to having two children, thinking it really can't be THAT bad. And, you know what, it wasn't at all. OUR kids did really well in that "abysmal" school, where by the way they were never tortured, not even yelled at ever. They grew up to be excellent students, cheerful, driven, playful, and really very smart and well educated. They've passed several reputed tests all around; we aren't just hoping, we know. And, because we both work and don't really spend that much time hovering over homework - no tutors and all - we know that school deserves credit.

All this to say, take a deep breath and proceed with confidence!

Thank you!!

My main concern with our local school is teasing. The school is 0% white (we are about as white as it gets - and Jewish, to boot) and my sweet, sensitive boy looks like a beautiful girl. Can you say DIFFERENT?! I'm a big fan of diversity, but 0% white is hardly diverse. If he was more like my daughter - very outgoing, confident, gregarious - I wouldn't worry so much, but he's shy and gets his feelings hurt very easily.

Here's hoping we get in *somewhere*.

Here's the thing. My son is THE white kid at school. It's less than 0.5% white. There was a mixed race child last year (at least one year younger) who always had a princess tiara painted on his face at after school parties/events. No one ever said anything (despite our school being the antithesis of what DCUM finds acceptable - 95%+ AA, 75% or more FARMS) except to comment on how adorable he was. He did have short hair, and the kids all wear uniforms, but no one was concerned about it.

If you're concerned about teasing, take your child to an open house. Visit, introduce him to the tour guide, and then ask how the school handles teasing. They should have some good answers. My son's father (who lives in another state), has worried about my son getting teased since PK3. It has never happened. My ex has constantly worried about my son getting bullied - it has never been an issue. Not once. The only thing that ever happened was some kids wanted to touch his hair when he first started because they didn't know what blond hair felt like. It was observed by the teachers, who said that it didn't bother my son and the other children were being gentle but curious. They did say that if it had bothered my son they would have stopped it.

The more you post the more it sounds like you are looking for an environment that will treat your child like a special snowflake who needs coddling. I think you are unlikely to find that (unless you go reggio or radical unschooling or small exclusive private), and should instead look for a school that will be accepting and that will challenge him academically. I wish you luck.

You know, I was with you until the last paragraph. Your true colors are shining through, and it appears that you Have a chip on your shoulder.

No chip. However, the OP has posted many reasons why her neighborhood or other easy to get into schools couldn't possibly work for her child. He's as white as they come, which is different, is Jewish, and he looks like a girl (also different), and the school is 0% white, which means...what? It means nothing, except that OP hasn't asked the school about her concerns. She can spell them out if she wants, and a good principal or teacher should be able to address them. Most likely, the school would be able ro handle it fine, mostly because it just requires that the teachers accept the child as he is and teach the other students to do the same.

The OP assuming that a school being 0% white means that her white, Jewish, looks like a girl child would not be accepted - sounds like she doesn't want her child to be "different" (there might be plenty of kids who are different - aside from being non-white) and thinks he is a special snowflake that needs coddling. The OP may find the environment much more accepting than she expects, and much more friendly too (as I have found at my sons school). OP may also not like the school, which is fine because no one can like every school after visiting. But that's not what OP is saying - she's saying that her child is so different that if he were the only white kid he would be too different. My child has not had that experience, and is thriving socially and academically. Despite being the only white kid.

[Anonymous]

OP my advice to you is to get some "safety schools" like Sela on your list for sure.
You can daydream about the ideal school but that is not how the lottery system works. Some people get lucky. Most do not. There are schools I would love to send my kid to that I have lotteried now for three years in a row and not gotten in. The most popular schools fill up in PK3, and have siblings who get preference, and it is just darn hard to get in. The best chance is when you are applying to PK3 and even then it is not easy.
If you cannot afford private and do not want to do your in-boundary school you must make sure to have schools on your list that are realistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP my advice to you is to get some "safety schools" like Sela on your list for sure.
You can daydream about the ideal school but that is not how the lottery system works. Some people get lucky. Most do not. There are schools I would love to send my kid to that I have lotteried now for three years in a row and not gotten in. The most popular schools fill up in PK3, and have siblings who get preference, and it is just darn hard to get in. The best chance is when you are applying to PK3 and even then it is not easy.
If you cannot afford private and do not want to do your in-boundary school you must make sure to have schools on your list that are realistic.

PP that gave a solid list has Sela as well as Shining Stars, Burroughs, Breakthrough. Shining Stars may have more openings with their move. Same with Bridges. My guess with list above, she will get at least two offers (depending on how she lists them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Smooglie wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post could have been mine a little over a decade ago (DCUM didn't exist yet, just playground chatter). Bought a house, then had a child, and, well, okay, let's see, I think that baby needs to go to school some place. People looked at us in horror that we hadn't considered that way ahead of buying a house and, God forbid, conceiving a child. The school nearby, we were told, short of tortured children and was absolutely abysmal. And didn't we know that, how BAD the schools are?! (Are you stupid or what?) Well, we went on to having two children, thinking it really can't be THAT bad. And, you know what, it wasn't at all. OUR kids did really well in that "abysmal" school, where by the way they were never tortured, not even yelled at ever. They grew up to be excellent students, cheerful, driven, playful, and really very smart and well educated. They've passed several reputed tests all around; we aren't just hoping, we know. And, because we both work and don't really spend that much time hovering over homework - no tutors and all - we know that school deserves credit.

All this to say, take a deep breath and proceed with confidence!

Thank you!!

My main concern with our local school is teasing. The school is 0% white (we are about as white as it gets - and Jewish, to boot) and my sweet, sensitive boy looks like a beautiful girl. Can you say DIFFERENT?! I'm a big fan of diversity, but 0% white is hardly diverse. If he was more like my daughter - very outgoing, confident, gregarious - I wouldn't worry so much, but he's shy and gets his feelings hurt very easily.

Here's hoping we get in *somewhere*.

Here's the thing. My son is THE white kid at school. It's less than 0.5% white. There was a mixed race child last year (at least one year younger) who always had a princess tiara painted on his face at after school parties/events. No one ever said anything (despite our school being the antithesis of what DCUM finds acceptable - 95%+ AA, 75% or more FARMS) except to comment on how adorable he was. He did have short hair, and the kids all wear uniforms, but no one was concerned about it.

If you're concerned about teasing, take your child to an open house. Visit, introduce him to the tour guide, and then ask how the school handles teasing. They should have some good answers. My son's father (who lives in another state), has worried about my son getting teased since PK3. It has never happened. My ex has constantly worried about my son getting bullied - it has never been an issue. Not once. The only thing that ever happened was some kids wanted to touch his hair when he first started because they didn't know what blond hair felt like. It was observed by the teachers, who said that it didn't bother my son and the other children were being gentle but curious. They did say that if it had bothered my son they would have stopped it.

The more you post the more it sounds like you are looking for an environment that will treat your child like a special snowflake who needs coddling. I think you are unlikely to find that (unless you go reggio or radical unschooling or small exclusive private), and should instead look for a school that will be accepting and that will challenge him academically. I wish you luck.

You know, I was with you until the last paragraph. Your true colors are shining through, and it appears that you Have a chip on your shoulder.

No chip. However, the OP has posted many reasons why her neighborhood or other easy to get into schools couldn't possibly work for her child. He's as white as they come, which is different, is Jewish, and he looks like a girl (also different), and the school is 0% white, which means...what? It means nothing, except that OP hasn't asked the school about her concerns. She can spell them out if she wants, and a good principal or teacher should be able to address them. Most likely, the school would be able ro handle it fine, mostly because it just requires that the teachers accept the child as he is and teach the other students to do the same.

The OP assuming that a school being 0% white means that her white, Jewish, looks like a girl child would not be accepted - sounds like she doesn't want her child to be "different" (there might be plenty of kids who are different - aside from being non-white) and thinks he is a special snowflake that needs coddling. The OP may find the environment much more accepting than she expects, and much more friendly too (as I have found at my sons school). OP may also not like the school, which is fine because no one can like every school after visiting. But that's not what OP is saying - she's saying that her child is so different that if he were the only white kid he would be too different. My child has not had that experience, and is thriving socially and academically. Despite being the only white kid.

this is what makes me think you have a chip on your shoulder. you are absolutely extrapolating and assigning her query for help in identifying schools to defcom 1. i can get on board with everything you say EXCEPT THIS.