Lady yelled at me because of my child....
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Anonymous
Um, do you even HAVE kids? What I meant was, the actions of a 17mo are not intentional - even if there was shrieking, if it was from happiness, that is an age where they don't have as much control. During the two's, they have SOME control, but they tend to act up even worse since they are...2. My point to OP was, at least with a 17mo most rational humans will agree that at that age, they are still to young to control their volume and reactions. At 2, they understand what you WANT them to do and are capable of doing it for the most part, but the self-regulation thing is still developing, so they are unpredictable. I wouldn't call this 'spirited', I'd call this 'normal'. |
Anonymous
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OP, first let me say that I would have had the same reaction in your shoes. I'd like to think I would have gone off, but I really would have been so stunned that I wouldn't have been able to say much of anything. That woman was a bitch and a half. At 17 months old, there is no such thing as controlling your young toddler. There is distracting, and there is removing. That's about it. I think most adults do not know anything about normal child development and what you can reasonably expect at different ages. Personally, I tried to avoid restaurants when I knew my child would not always act appropriately during a meal, but sometimes it cannot be avoided. You were in a casual place at a reasonable hour to have a meal with children. Babies are going to shriek occasionally. You did nothing wrong. My DC1 would never have sat in the seat for an entire meal at that age!
Second thing I wanted to tell you is, please do not listen to all of these people saying that "spirited" is another word for bratty and out of control. That's really not what it's about at all. Spirited means more sensitive, more intense, more difficult, not easygoing, not go along to get along. It is a constellation of personality traits, and an adjective that can apply to both children and adults -- e.g. if you are spirited you are not going to grow out of your nature, but you will hopefully learn how to manage your emotions and reactions over time. I cannot tell from your post whether you actually have a spirited child or not, but I just wanted to correct the view of what the concept means offered by some of the PPs. Here is a quick explanation with references to longer works: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-spirited-child.htm. |
Anonymous
| Yes pp, I have 2 kids, but understand that other patrons might not want to hear them shriek. I remove them from Starbucks so they can use outside voices outside. |
Anonymous
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NP here. I would never, ever, ever tell anyone to "walk away before I end you." That is a threat and is asking for nothing but trouble. You could get thrown out. Is that what you want? In front of your friends/family/kids? OP, if this is legit, I'm sorry. But ITA sometimes moms feign oblivion to get sympathy. As if to say "well, the one who picks on the childs family MUST be to blame". My SIL was notorious for this. She would bring her screamer everywhere and wonder why people were not so absolutely irrationally head over heels like her own mom is; and why they didn't comply with her every wish so she could have what she wanted. She had a very distorted reality and it became very sad when people started figuring it out. It can snowball into something not in your child's favor. Her mom set her up for disaster in many other ways too. Don't set your kid up, its not fair. You asked. |
Anonymous
| Many elderly people are very intolerant and impatient with very young children. It's her issue, not yours! I would have ripped into her and told her to mind her own business. |
Anonymous
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Wow. Someone ran out of their meds...
<slowly backing out>
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Anonymous
OK, that just made me LOL considering it's usually YOU who people accuse of missing their meds.... 
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Anonymous
Sounds like you two know each other! 
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Anonymous
It's her business also, if she's being subjected to shrieking in coffee shops. Im mot old and I still get it |
Anonymous
| I meant I'm not old. |
Anonymous
I truly hope not. I'm the one who sings along with grocery store musing to entertain my baby. I'm not the one who screams at random people. |
Anonymous
| Wait, I'm confused if this is the same drama queen OP from the other threads, I thought she didn't take her kids out of the house. Where was the howling 4 month old during this time? Didn't he lose his voice from screeching non-stop yesterday? |
Anonymous
Unless they question your use of a parking pass... 
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Anonymous
Actually, only if they wrongly call me out when I'm trying to enjoy a pain free day. 8) |
Anonymous
You're just too slow for DCUM... |