Do you agree or disagree with this: Parents should pay for undergrad tuition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who don't plan to pay for your kids college education, let me assure you that they will be pushed out of jobs by immigrants whose parents lived in shacks so their kids could get the best possible education. Indian, Korean, Chinese families sacrifice EVERYTHING so their kids can get the best possible education. Later those same kids help the elderly parents because they are able. This discussion, right here, on this thread is why the U.S. is going to become second world very soon.

I am one of those immigrants (though I live quite comfortably). I said previously that I would only pay for a top school tuition and only on my own terms (i.e. children get to choose their major only from a pro-approved list created by me and DH). It is hard for me to imagine immigrant parents giving their children free reigns in terms of exploring various college majors etc. Also, more than many here (and this despite both me and DH being PhDs) we are willing to accept that our children might not be good enough for college and that there other honorable ways to make a living. We are certainly not going to pay $$$ so that children can have a "college experience".

You completely missed the point.

[Anonymous]

Also, more than many here (and this despite both me and DH being PhDs) we are willing to accept that our children might not be good enough for college and that there other honorable ways to make a living.

What do you mean by "good enough?" Do you feel that someone who does a CNA program or becomes a fireman or mechanic is not as "good" of a person as someone who gets a college degree? I am hoping you mean "academically focused?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who don't plan to pay for your kids college education, let me assure you that they will be pushed out of jobs by immigrants whose parents lived in shacks so their kids could get the best possible education. Indian, Korean, Chinese families sacrifice EVERYTHING so their kids can get the best possible education. Later those same kids help the elderly parents because they are able. This discussion, right here, on this thread is why the U.S. is going to become second world very soon.

I am one of those immigrants (though I live quite comfortably). I said previously that I would only pay for a top school tuition and only on my own terms (i.e. children get to choose their major only from a pro-approved list created by me and DH). It is hard for me to imagine immigrant parents giving their children free reigns in terms of exploring various college majors etc. Also, more than many here (and this despite both me and DH being PhDs) we are willing to accept that our children might not be good enough for college and that there other honorable ways to make a living. We are certainly not going to pay $$$ so that children can have a "college experience".

I am also from one of those immigrant groups - my parents immigrated, and my husband immigrated. Dad's family was dirt-poor; he's an engineer.

My parents came here for opportunity. The last thing my parents would want me to do is waste an education on something that didn't interest me at all. Can you imagine not wanting to be an engineer, and then spending 9 hours a day being an engineer? Soul sucking.

I don't know a single immigrant parent that made the kinds of ultimatums you suggest - it's the exception, rather than the norm in our community, actually. We find out about it from the rumor mill. "Oh, he left school - he really wanted to be an English major, but his mom made him go to the business school."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should? As in the kids are entitled to a college education paid for by their parents?
No way.

I think that the kid should have to work and save for it throughout the years. I also believe that the kid should work hard and try to get scholarships.

If the parents can and have the will to pay, more power to them. But, I think that parents mortgaging their house to pay for a kid's college is insane.

Insane why? Are you of the opinion that you should bring them into this world, feed and clothe them for 18 years and then they are on their own? If the kid is willing to work hard for a scholarship, why shouldn't that "scholarship" come from parents who brought the poor beggar into this world? Or is your kids education someone else's responsibility then? Who do you think pays for those scholarships and financial aid.

I have nothing against scholarships and financial aid for the children whose parents are clearly not able to pay. But there is no reason that any child whole parents are able to afford tuition should even get a scholarship. Pay up assholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who don't plan to pay for your kids college education, let me assure you that they will be pushed out of jobs by immigrants whose parents lived in shacks so their kids could get the best possible education. Indian, Korean, Chinese families sacrifice EVERYTHING so their kids can get the best possible education. Later those same kids help the elderly parents because they are able. This discussion, right here, on this thread is why the U.S. is going to become second world very soon.

I am one of those immigrants (though I live quite comfortably). I said previously that I would only pay for a top school tuition and only on my own terms (i.e. children get to choose their major only from a pro-approved list created by me and DH). It is hard for me to imagine immigrant parents giving their children free reigns in terms of exploring various college majors etc. Also, more than many here (and this despite both me and DH being PhDs) we are willing to accept that our children might not be good enough for college and that there other honorable ways to make a living. We are certainly not going to pay $$$ so that children can have a "college experience".

I am also from one of those immigrant groups - my parents immigrated, and my husband immigrated. Dad's family was dirt-poor; he's an engineer.

My parents came here for opportunity. The last thing my parents would want me to do is waste an education on something that didn't interest me at all. Can you imagine not wanting to be an engineer, and then spending 9 hours a day being an engineer? Soul sucking.

I don't know a single immigrant parent that made the kinds of ultimatums you suggest - it's the exception, rather than the norm in our community, actually. We find out about it from the rumor mill. "Oh, he left school - he really wanted to be an English major, but his mom made him go to the business school."

Thank you pp. You said everything I wanted to say, but much more nicely.

[Anonymous]

We have kids in college and some still at home. We can't afford to pay for a full-ride. The college kids take out subsidized loans, get need and merit-based aid and we pay the balance, which is doable. College and high school kids work summers and part-time during the school year to cover additional expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who don't plan to pay for your kids college education, let me assure you that they will be pushed out of jobs by immigrants whose parents lived in shacks so their kids could get the best possible education. Indian, Korean, Chinese families sacrifice EVERYTHING so their kids can get the best possible education. Later those same kids help the elderly parents because they are able. This discussion, right here, on this thread is why the U.S. is going to become second world very soon.

I am one of those immigrants (though I live quite comfortably). I said previously that I would only pay for a top school tuition and only on my own terms (i.e. children get to choose their major only from a pro-approved list created by me and DH). It is hard for me to imagine immigrant parents giving their children free reigns in terms of exploring various college majors etc. Also, more than many here (and this despite both me and DH being PhDs) we are willing to accept that our children might not be good enough for college and that there other honorable ways to make a living. We are certainly not going to pay $$$ so that children can have a "college experience".

I am also from one of those immigrant groups - my parents immigrated, and my husband immigrated. Dad's family was dirt-poor; he's an engineer.

My parents came here for opportunity. The last thing my parents would want me to do is waste an education on something that didn't interest me at all. Can you imagine not wanting to be an engineer, and then spending 9 hours a day being an engineer? Soul sucking.

I don't know a single immigrant parent that made the kinds of ultimatums you suggest - it's the exception, rather than the norm in our community, actually. We find out about it from the rumor mill. "Oh, he left school - he really wanted to be an English major, but his mom made him go to the business school."

This is why I would never limit choices just to engineers. Doctors and lawyers are also acceptable (in fact, medicine is preferable). There is so much variety in careers in medicine (clinical work, lab work, managerial work, teaching work...) alone that there is something for everyone.

Maybe in your community the rule is to have children decide what they want to study on their parents' dime. If so, this is merely a reflection of a generational family cycle where movers and shakers are eventually replaced by "artists" or just plain bums.

[Anonymous]

I am underfunding my DDs' college funds, not by choice really, but I also dont believe in giving them a free ride. They should have ownership of their education and their ducational choices.

This is a question so typical of this area. Not a lot of Americans even ask this because they simply cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of cheap universities abroad and in 15 years things are only going to get better. The current pace of tuition inflation is unsustainable.

Meaning what? Don't try to save? I'm one of those posters willing and able to save $200,000 per child for college. If they don't need it, we'll find other uses for it. My kids don't need a swimming pool in their backyard, or annual trips to Disney, but they may well need a lot of financial assistance from us for college.

So you all you are basically saying is that you are a big saver. You are not truly saving for anything in particular.

private is more than 200,000 now...just paid almost 29000 pre-books for 1 first semester bill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of cheap universities abroad and in 15 years things are only going to get better. The current pace of tuition inflation is unsustainable.

Meaning what? Don't try to save? I'm one of those posters willing and able to save $200,000 per child for college. If they don't need it, we'll find other uses for it. My kids don't need a swimming pool in their backyard, or annual trips to Disney, but they may well need a lot of financial assistance from us for college.

So you all you are basically saying is that you are a big saver. You are not truly saving for anything in particular.

Completely and utterly wrong. We have $120,000 total in the kids' 529 plans, continue to contribute to those and also have taxable investments that could be used for college expenses.

[Anonymous]

"Are u serious...u have basically valued t2 kids college education above the lives and existence of the othe 2.
Oow dumb is that? "

Why is that dumb? We also stopped at two children, so we could give more to those children.

[Anonymous]

"I run poetry workshops. "

No, seriously, what do you do to make a living?

[Anonymous]

"We paid private school tuition for 14 years so certainly wouldn't have suddenly cut it off for college. I really can't imagine people with means suddenly saying - hey you can go to swanky private schools so we can put the sticker on the car, but if you don't get into a college of a certain rank so we can add that sticker then sorry, you are on your own."

Crazy, isn't it? My next door neighbors paid for Holton Arms, but then told their dd she could apply only to VA state schools. WTF?

[Anonymous]

"Nope, I'm not. I'm trying to feed, clothe and care for the child NOW, with the limited funds that I have. The rest goes towards savings for family emergencies and my own retirement. College tuition will come when there is disposable income, as of right now? I'm not going to bust my balls for that."

To each their own. I "bust my balls" at a job solely to save money for my kids' education. It's worth it to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

I'm buying a car! Better a boring but safe Honda Accord than some 20 year old death trap my kid might be able to purchase.