Up to what grade is it 'OK' to take kids out of school for a vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever. Life is more important than school. They will make it up.

Most of what our kids learn in school is useless nonsense anyway.

I'm a teacher. My personal belief, and that of many of my colleagues, is that during your child's formative years from the ages of 4-21, life is school. Your child's life and your family's life revolves around the school year. It may be inconvenient for you, but going to school is not simply about homework and lessons. It's about commitment to priorities, and school should be a priority. The only priorities that should be above school and learning are family and health. Disney is not a good excuse to miss school. Traveling to Orlando because grandma is in hospice care, OTOH, is a valid excuse to miss school. There have been some notable exceptions for travel, but these don't really apply to 99% of families. One example that comes to mind: a parent who is a chemist who works on clean water technology is taking her family to Bangladesh for field work, and the children are missing a week of school. That exposure, IMO, is priceless and cannot be beat by what's learned in the classroom. Disney? Do you see what you're up against?

While I understand your point, and agree with you to a certain extent, I also will admit straight up that my child is my first priority, and that many of these decisions are a balancing act. Personally my kids are young - oldest is 4.5 - but we already know that we will most likely pull them from school over the next few years in order to go on a family ski vacation.

Why? Because logistically the ability to go that vacation will happen during the academic session, and for my particular kid I think that a week of skiing will benefit her more than a week of school. My kid doesn't struggle academically, but she DOES struggle some with (a) physical skills, (b) conquering her fears, (c) perfectionist tendencies and (d) being worse at something than her peers. Skiing challenges her in ways that school doesn't, and I look at it as an opportunity to foster some really important life skills, like grit.

So...you are taking your children out of school to go on a ski vacation to teach your child "grit"?

Please tell me that you see the irony in this....

[Anonymous]

I think if parents want to take their kids out of school for vacations, fine, but don't expect the teacher to prepare lessons for you, or accept late hw or allow a test to be made up or any other accommodations related to an absence for a vacation.

It is very disruptive for a kid to be out of school for a week, so it is selfish to expect a teacher to be inconvenienced further to catch your kid up. You choose to pull your kids out, deal with the academic consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh I have to say I'm really surprised by this thread.

I have taken my kids (K and 1st grader) out of school for 2-3 vacations this year that involved missing school for 2-3 days each. (frequently extending a long weekend).

I agree that I try to teach my kids that school is important, and that it is their "job". But I also think family time is SUPER important. We are lucky enough that both sets of grandparents are in good health, and WANT to vacation with us. Due to large families, we can't always work everything around the kids schedules or school vacations. I acknowledge that pretty soon -- 3rd? 4th grade? -- they will start missing actual learning when we pull them out of school, and it will get harder and we won't do it as often. But right now? Its an issue of priorities.

My kids go to a very well regarded elementary school in Ffx County... but let's get real -- there is NOTHING that they are missing currently for 2-3 days that they can't figure out. For me, its a matter of priorities. While school is important, I also think connecting with family and knowing your grandparents is also important. I took both kids out of school for 3 days in January to go on a cruise with the grandparents. By educational standards, it was complete crap (like Disney). They didn't "learn" anything -- other than the important life skill of how to be flexible travellers and the excitement of visiting Mexico (even if all they saw was a beach in Cozumel for 5 hours) But I would do it again in a heartbeat. When they're 20, they will not be damaged by having missed 3 days of school... but they will always remember the excitement of going on their first cruise ship with Nana and Granddad. That is worth something in my view. Even if it is just purely fun.

I am the poster above. I am not the poster who responded to the question about why I can't just schedule it around vacation... but I would like to respond. And yes, sure, price is part of it.

But really it boils down to a weighing of priorities. If I were to schedule vacations entirely around school, it would limit where we could afford to go, what we could do, and who we could go with. If you've ever scheduled a vacation with extended family (which is important to me), you would know that it is hard to find something that fits everyone's needs. For me, the question is simply this: Yes, I COULD go on a shorter/different/more expensive vacation that would allow me to keep my child in school without missing a day... but WHY? There is something to be said for teaching your child that school is a priority. And certainly that is inconsistent with taking off to Disney World without regard for the school schedule. But, IMO, there is plenty of time to teach that lesson, and I don't feel it needs to start in 1st grade. So why else should I pay more/do less on my vacation to avoid missing a day of school? Is it because it is disruptive to the class? Disrespectful of the teacher? Will my child be woefully behind if he misses 2 days?

From where I sit, those are small issues for my 1st grader, and well worth the relative value of having a nice affordable vacation with extended family.

That's just my opinion. You don't have to agree, but neither do I think it makes me a self-centered parent who just wants poopsie to have fun all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh I have to say I'm really surprised by this thread.

I have taken my kids (K and 1st grader) out of school for 2-3 vacations this year that involved missing school for 2-3 days each. (frequently extending a long weekend).

I agree that I try to teach my kids that school is important, and that it is their "job". But I also think family time is SUPER important. We are lucky enough that both sets of grandparents are in good health, and WANT to vacation with us. Due to large families, we can't always work everything around the kids schedules or school vacations. I acknowledge that pretty soon -- 3rd? 4th grade? -- they will start missing actual learning when we pull them out of school, and it will get harder and we won't do it as often. But right now? Its an issue of priorities.

My kids go to a very well regarded elementary school in Ffx County... but let's get real -- there is NOTHING that they are missing currently for 2-3 days that they can't figure out. For me, its a matter of priorities. While school is important, I also think connecting with family and knowing your grandparents is also important. I took both kids out of school for 3 days in January to go on a cruise with the grandparents. By educational standards, it was complete crap (like Disney). They didn't "learn" anything -- other than the important life skill of how to be flexible travellers and the excitement of visiting Mexico (even if all they saw was a beach in Cozumel for 5 hours) But I would do it again in a heartbeat. When they're 20, they will not be damaged by having missed 3 days of school... but they will always remember the excitement of going on their first cruise ship with Nana and Granddad. That is worth something in my view. Even if it is just purely fun.

I am the poster above. I am not the poster who responded to the question about why I can't just schedule it around vacation... but I would like to respond. And yes, sure, price is part of it.

But really it boils down to a weighing of priorities. If I were to schedule vacations entirely around school, it would limit where we could afford to go, what we could do, and who we could go with. If you've ever scheduled a vacation with extended family (which is important to me), you would know that it is hard to find something that fits everyone's needs. For me, the question is simply this: Yes, I COULD go on a shorter/different/more expensive vacation that would allow me to keep my child in school without missing a day... but WHY? There is something to be said for teaching your child that school is a priority. And certainly that is inconsistent with taking off to Disney World without regard for the school schedule. But, IMO, there is plenty of time to teach that lesson, and I don't feel it needs to start in 1st grade. So why else should I pay more/do less on my vacation to avoid missing a day of school? Is it because it is disruptive to the class? Disrespectful of the teacher? Will my child be woefully behind if he misses 2 days?

... .

none of the above. You are teaching them it is o.k. to follow some rules but ignore others if they are inconvenient. This can become quite a slippery slope if you are not careful.

[Anonymous]

As a former Kindergarten teacher, my colleagues and I thought a family trip was an important experience. We would talk about the upcoming trip and encourage them to share about the experience when they returned. I agree with the K teacher who spoke about the beginning of the year and getting the routines down can be tricky, but February- no problem!

I am over 30 now and I too missed school for a family trip to Disney, I can still remember it fondly and the time with my family, but I have no idea what it was I missed or had to make up- in the end the family memories are far more important. Most teachers get that and the fact that not everyone can schedule their vacations around school schedules, especially when their DC's go to different schools.

[Anonymous]

I have a technical question on this: when you call the school to say your DC will be absent that day, do you say they're sick or just say we have better things to do or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh I have to say I'm really surprised by this thread.

I have taken my kids (K and 1st grader) out of school for 2-3 vacations this year that involved missing school for 2-3 days each. (frequently extending a long weekend).

I agree that I try to teach my kids that school is important, and that it is their "job". But I also think family time is SUPER important. We are lucky enough that both sets of grandparents are in good health, and WANT to vacation with us. Due to large families, we can't always work everything around the kids schedules or school vacations. I acknowledge that pretty soon -- 3rd? 4th grade? -- they will start missing actual learning when we pull them out of school, and it will get harder and we won't do it as often. But right now? Its an issue of priorities.

My kids go to a very well regarded elementary school in Ffx County... but let's get real -- there is NOTHING that they are missing currently for 2-3 days that they can't figure out. For me, its a matter of priorities. While school is important, I also think connecting with family and knowing your grandparents is also important. I took both kids out of school for 3 days in January to go on a cruise with the grandparents. By educational standards, it was complete crap (like Disney). They didn't "learn" anything -- other than the important life skill of how to be flexible travellers and the excitement of visiting Mexico (even if all they saw was a beach in Cozumel for 5 hours) But I would do it again in a heartbeat. When they're 20, they will not be damaged by having missed 3 days of school... but they will always remember the excitement of going on their first cruise ship with Nana and Granddad. That is worth something in my view. Even if it is just purely fun.

I am the poster above. I am not the poster who responded to the question about why I can't just schedule it around vacation... but I would like to respond. And yes, sure, price is part of it.

But really it boils down to a weighing of priorities. If I were to schedule vacations entirely around school, it would limit where we could afford to go, what we could do, and who we could go with. If you've ever scheduled a vacation with extended family (which is important to me), you would know that it is hard to find something that fits everyone's needs. For me, the question is simply this: Yes, I COULD go on a shorter/different/more expensive vacation that would allow me to keep my child in school without missing a day... but WHY? There is something to be said for teaching your child that school is a priority. And certainly that is inconsistent with taking off to Disney World without regard for the school schedule. But, IMO, there is plenty of time to teach that lesson, and I don't feel it needs to start in 1st grade. So why else should I pay more/do less on my vacation to avoid missing a day of school? Is it because it is disruptive to the class? Disrespectful of the teacher? Will my child be woefully behind if he misses 2 days?

... .

none of the above. You are teaching them it is o.k. to follow some rules but ignore others if they are inconvenient. This can become quite a slippery slope if you are not careful.

Suffice to say, you've made your priorities clear.

[Anonymous]

If you think you are saving money by taking your kids out of school to go somewhere relatively off season, i would remind you that you need to have something for your kids to do during their real spring vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a technical question on this: when you call the school to say your DC will be absent that day, do you say they're sick or just say we have better things to do or what?

DC will be absent next week for a family vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think by 5th grade it gets to be a challenge. A week is also a lot to make up, maybe try for a long weekend instead. By middle school and high school my kids would absolutely not miss even a day of school because it was/is hard to make up the work. AP classes move fast and if you are taking more than one it would be a real challenge to try to make it up. Plus at the schools my kids attend/ed you would more than likely miss tests and quizzes in at least one or two classes on any given day.

So what do kids do if they are sick?

My kid missed two weeks (not in a row thankfully), and a bunch of single days because of a chronic illness.

My kid's teachers bent over backwards to accommodate his absences due to illness. They met with him at lunch and afterschool to catch him up, and to administer tests and quizzes, emailed him things, gave him extensions on assignments, etc . . . I was very grateful that they were willing to do so, but would never expect the same thing for a Disney trip.

I have taken my kid out for vacations in the past, not saying I wouldn't. But I wouldn't do a whole week past elementary school. I'd probably limit it to 1 to 2 days in middle or high school.

[Anonymous]

Our kindergarten teacher was off for several scheduled days this year once I remember during the 100th day of kindergarten celebration which is a pretty big day for that age. Why should she or any teacher be upset that my DC misses a day or two for one of our own family events? Especially close to Christmas and New Years. Luckily it was no big deal for us or her. How many non teaching staff took vacation during the school year? Shouldn't they feel guilty too and stop taking off then? The school shouldn't be overly responsible for getting the children up to speed, but parents shouldn't feel horrible about pulling their young children out for a couple of days a year either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take my kid out for a week at any grade. As long as they're doing well enough in school, and not missing something like an important test, family is more important than school. I don't believe that school is the end-all and be-all of educating your child; a vacation can also be part of the mix.

+1

[Anonymous]

And I'm sure that none of those bonding vacation times could be scheduled for the months between June and August when school is out and you're trying to find camps for your kid, right? It isn't about "bonding" or finding enough time to travel. At least be honest about it. Some people care about teaching their kids to follow the rules, even when they aren't fun, and others don't. Life lessons aren't always fun.

[Anonymous]

You sound like the fun police..fwiw..Disney was the trip my kid still talks about and it will be a wonderful memory forever..going there in summer is hell. No regrets taking off school to go there. Teachers were fine as I made all work was handled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like the fun police..fwiw..Disney was the trip my kid still talks about and it will be a wonderful memory forever..going there in summer is hell. No regrets taking off school to go there. Teachers were fine as I made all work was handled.

if we were going to cut school for a week (a terrible lesson to be teaching youngsters BTW) you can be sure we would do something more worthwhile and memorable than going to Disneyworld. I don't know which is worse, cutting school while it is in session, or going to an amusement park during the low season to save money.