Smart or rude: people who do what they want

[Anonymous]

People do this all the time at our school. Just like people idle their cars by the cross walk in school, or Target, or a busy restaurant, so they can pick someone up. I've even seen people leave their cars running at the driveway entrance/exit to walk inside and get takeout. It's entitlement and it's rude. It's the same people who unload their shopping carts and then leave the empties in parking spots instead of walking an extra 10-30 feet to put the cart back.

[Anonymous]

School parking lots are some weird black hole of entitled lawlessness. I - along with all the other parents - get to school 10-15 minutes before dismissal so we can park in the lot instead of across the street. Invariably, I pick up my kid and then can't get out of the parking lot because a person decided to drive into the lot at pickup time and just block the aisle between parking spaces so 4 cars can't get out of their spots and nobody in that aisle can get out. They just sit their in their car until their kid walks across the school lot and gets in the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Bringing drinks and snacks into the theater doesn't hurt other patrons, and it's not problematic the way blocking a fire lane is.
Same with the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.

What do you think of all the fare evaders? Are they breaking the social contract? That behavior is far more inconsiderate than someone parking for a few minutes at a time buses would be be at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Bringing drinks and snacks into the theater doesn't hurt other patrons, and it's not problematic the way blocking a fire lane is.
Same with the bathroom.

A paying customer may need the bathroom more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.

What do you think of all the fare evaders? Are they breaking the social contract? That behavior is far more inconsiderate than someone parking for a few minutes at a time buses would be be at the school.

They can both be wrong. That's why we can't have nice things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.

What do you think of all the fare evaders? Are they breaking the social contract? That behavior is far more inconsiderate than someone parking for a few minutes at a time buses would be be at the school.

They can both be wrong. That's why we can't have nice things.

Guaranteed the fare evaders are repeat offenders. The quick parking to pick up meds one time year in the middle of the day with no buses around makes sense. The school isn't going to post a complicated rule that it's ok to park there in certain time periods but we can all understand it's meant to restrict parking at normal drop off and pickup times. It's like when I park in reserved parking on Sunday when I know the business is closed. The sign says no parking but for the dr patients but I know the office is closed therefore it's ok to park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.

What do you think of all the fare evaders? Are they breaking the social contract? That behavior is far more inconsiderate than someone parking for a few minutes at a time buses would be be at the school.

They can both be wrong. That's why we can't have nice things.

Guaranteed the fare evaders are repeat offenders. The quick parking to pick up meds one time year in the middle of the day with no buses around makes sense. The school isn't going to post a complicated rule that it's ok to park there in certain time periods but we can all understand it's meant to restrict parking at normal drop off and pickup times. It's like when I park in reserved parking on Sunday when I know the business is closed. The sign says no parking but for the dr patients but I know the office is closed therefore it's ok to park.

Nope. None of those things are OK. The doctor's office is closed for patients, but not closed for owner. Quick parking in fire lanes is never OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me of the Shopping Cart Theory - a concept suggesting that returning a grocery cart to a designated corral evaluates moral character. Because returning the cart yields no reward and skipping it carries no punishment, this voluntary act measures a person's civic duty, empathy, and personal discipline.

Here's the AI overview:
Unsupervised Integrity: It tests whether an individual will do the right thing simply because it is correct, rather than to avoid penalties

Empathy: It shows consideration for store employees and fellow shoppers who rely on clear parking spots and orderly cart returns

Ownership vs. Entitlement: Leaving a cart in a parking space demonstrates entitlement (the expectation that someone else will handle it), while returning it demonstrates ownership of responsibilities

This drives me NUTS! Our vacation house is in one of the most expensive beach areas on the east coast and going to the grocery store here drives me insane because 9/10 people just leave their cart strewn about wherever. The entitlement of the people who do this drive me nuts. I don’t see it in less ritzy areas and I’m appalled by it. The people who do this take up extra parking spots in a crowded area by not putting their carts back and they create way more work for the poor employees who get tasked to go around and collect them from all over. I’ve started teaching my kids that this is an easy lesson in how to tell if someone is a good person or not, and now we all watch as we are leaving who puts them back. It’s absolutely antisocial behavior to think civility doesn’t apply to you.

Rant aside, OP I think you were fine to do the right thing, and I also think that dad wasn’t a jerk either given the circumstances. Unlike the grocery carts, I don’t think this one is so black and white!

Agree. I also use the shopping cart point to teach my kids about laziness/entitlement/inconsideration.

I have no problem with the dad's parking though, if his task only took a few minutes. The odds of anyone needing the fire lane in that window are vanishingly small. Parking in a handicapped spot is a different story.

Bizarre because I would say Dad was lazy, entitled and inconsiderate.

DP. There's just no plausible reality, at any of the schools where I've ever had kids, that being parked in the bus lane at 1pm, for the time it takes to pick up a kid, is going to matter. We've had kids at two elementary schools and neither even had any parking for visitors. People parking the bus lane during the school day was so little of a concern that they didn't even design the schools with another option.

This obviously is going to vary by school. At my kids' elementary, they block off the bus lanes and entire bus loop during much of the day to use as a lunch and play area. And they heavily discourage parents from using it during the hours it is not blocked off. The principal sends emails home about following the proper traffic pattern. As a result, I would never ever park there even if it were open. But people do, hence the periodic angry email reminders. But if you know at your school it isn't an issue, then fine.

Parking in a fire lane is different; that's a safety hazard if there should be an emergency. People should absolutely get fined and towed for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am like you and my husband often takes the shortcut. He’s very friendly about it and I think because he’s tall, white and friendly he is almost never called out for these things. On the rare occasion he is, he smiles and says sorry and moves on with his life. He’ll also play the “clueless dad” card whether he is actually clueless about X or not. He’s the happier for it but it drives me nuts.

While I appreciate PP's honesty regarding her husband, but while he may overall be an ok guy, his actions and attitude show that he is an entitled jerk who only cares about himself. The biggest problem is that his children are watching him and taking that message in.

The truth is that what people do when no one is watching says EVERYTHING about who they really are.

[Anonymous]

Depends all on luck.

Take my example - - at my bank’s ATM 🏧, directly in front of it, there is a large space where I could easily park, but it is marked all in red as it is designated for emergency vehicles.

If the ATM was free, I know I could technically park there, jump out of my car, grab some ca$h then jump right in - - in less than five min.

But knowing my dumb luck >> a cop could drive up + give me a ticket so to avoid having my entire day ruined, I opt to park on the side of the building.

Better to be safe -> than to be sorry later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a special education teacher, I can tell you that students use buses midday all the time for community outings or to get to work sites. In my experience the people like the man in the OP are the same people who park their cars so they are blocking the curb cuts making things much harder for people who use mobility devices.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.

Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.

What do you think of all the fare evaders? Are they breaking the social contract? That behavior is far more inconsiderate than someone parking for a few minutes at a time buses would be be at the school.

Fare evaders are thieves. It’s totally different than parking your car for two minutes to pick up your sick kid.

[Anonymous]

I did this once--my kids' HS used to have an outdoor kid checkout procedure, you weren't supposed to enter the building--and got yelled at even though I was still outside, within 40-50 feet of my vehicle. And I do mean yelled at. Because (as the yeller said) what would happen if a fire truck had to get through?!?! I was just like - well, I'd move my car when I saw the fire truck or heard the sirens. Being yelled at for literally nothing was one of the strangest experiences. I am 100 percent sure it wouldn't have happened to a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I had to pick up my daughter’s medication from school. I had to park in a side lot at a designated visitor’s space, which was a little walk from the main door, and in the hot sunshine. What I *wanted* to do, knowing I would be there less than five minutes, was park right in front of the school, in the bus lane, in a shady spot. It was 1 p.m., so no chance of buses being there at that time.

As I was walking up, I saw a dad do exactly that; he reached the school door just ahead of me. He tried to hold the door open for me, but I know procedure is for me to be buzzed in separately. Once in and cleared, I met up with him in the health room. We were there to do the exact same thing. Then, upon exiting, he breezed to his shaded car and sped off, and I hoofed it a bit to my hot car.

Did he impede buses or emergency vehicles? No. He did his errand quickly and was out of there. He did what I wanted to do, but was too chicken to do. He didn’t get caught, he didn’t get in trouble. He was treated as politely as I was.

Question: Is being a rule follower for cowards and dorks? Should I just use that guy as my Spirit Guide, and do what I want, within reason? Like no assaulting annoying people or parking in handicap parking spots, but…should I just stop being such a follower?

At my kid's ES there is a half day preschool program, so, there are buses in the bus lane at 1p. It is a dick move to park in the bus lane at a school. There may be field trips, an emergency, half day programs, etc.