Did you ever restrict your teen from applying to certain colleges? Did you have rules or boundaries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No NYU, Northeastern, Drexel or BU.

Why? What were your concerns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Max budget is $65k so they are price/merit sensitive.

There is a small subset of schools that are not values aligned with our family and I am not willing to give those schools my money. Specifically we won’t pay for schools that teach Christian nationalism.

What schools are you referring to?

[Anonymous]

Not that my kids would consider them, but I’d veto any schools in shithole/red states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Within 1 day’s drive.
Any direction.
Health considerations/emergency wouldn’t require plane trip.

Why can't your adult kid deal with health emergencies on their own? Do you expect them to live within a day's drive their whole life?

DP, but my parents consider me eternally obligated to live even closer than that to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put my foot down at Notre Dame and Holy Cross.

lol ok loser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Or - did you allow your student to apply to anywhere they had an interest?

Whether it be due to the cost of attendance or poor reputation, did you restrict your student in any way from applying to certain colleges?

Yes, if I had an objection to a school for any reason, I voiced it. I did not want my kid to go to a predominantly Catholic school as we are non-Catholic (and not white also) or a women's college and I did not want them to go to Texas, a state where women have no rights over their bodies.

Sure, weirdo. I'll bet your kid was begging to go to Notre Dame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not restrict our kids for any place. Mainly because we have ingrained in them the morals and values that we have.

They were not going to any school because it was a party school or because of Greek life. Even though they are very social. They were concentrating on their major, what the school could provide for them (mainly access to internships and opportunities), and how close to home it was. They also looked at merit scholarship money and how much of their college fund they could save and convert to Roth.

My kid is like the gen-Z, suburban dad type, responsible person - that is the topic of a DCUM thread.

Ha! My kid is the same (very responsible, has always seemed older than he is, not a partier, chose his college based on major but also ended up choosing the one that was the least expensive due to merit). Curious where your kid ended up. Mine is headed to UMBC.

UMD.
Congrats on your kid going to UMBC. My firstborn went to UMBC. Fell in love with the peaceful, cosy and non-chaotic vibe of the campus and amazing close-knit student body. UMBC is academics-focussed and rigorous school with awesome professors who actually know you and become lifelong mentors. Student body is mainly studious, creative, quirky, passionate, close-knit, supportive, inclusive and diverse. Yes, it has a ton of events and concerts and games etc, also...but at heart it is a serious academics-focussed school. Class-size for most parts is small. UMD is also great and has been wonderful for my child but some of the UMD classes are huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Or - did you allow your student to apply to anywhere they had an interest?

Whether it be due to the cost of attendance or poor reputation, did you restrict your student in any way from applying to certain colleges?

Yes, if I had an objection to a school for any reason, I voiced it. I did not want my kid to go to a predominantly Catholic school as we are non-Catholic (and not white also) or a women's college and I did not want them to go to Texas, a state where women have no rights over their bodies.

Sure, weirdo. I'll bet your kid was begging to go to Notre Dame.

Weirdo? Not at all. I feel the same way as previous poster. Everyone has his/her opinion! Agree or disagree. It doesn't matter how you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have friends who wouldn’t let their kids apply to colleges on the west coast. Wanted them to be a weekend trip away and they considered west coast too far. One of their kids ended up moving to Seattle post-grad so not sure if it ended up how they wanted.

You do know that there is a difference between kids going to college far away after graduating HS vs moving far away for a job after graduating college.

There is a lot of growth and adulting that happens during college days that makes moving far easier. Let's put it this way - having the support and guidance of parents during college years actually made the kid able to find a job and be employable in west coast after college.

[Anonymous]

I didn't "forbid" my kids to apply to any school they wanted, but I made clear there were some I wouldn't pay for.

One of our kids was a liberal arts type. We're in state VA. We figured she'd get into William & Mary, which she did. She also applied to a number of private liberal arts colleges: Carleton, Grinnell, Wesleyan, etc. She wanted to apply to Macalester, but we made clear that we wouldn't pull full freight for it over William & Mary so she scratched it. In the end she went to Grinnell, choosing it over Carleton after getting a lot of merit aid. We might have paid full price at Carleton if she were desperate to go there, but she wasn't at all.

When you live in VA and can get into either UVA or W&M you really have to get into top 10 universities or LACs before it makes any sense to pay full price to go private. It's just nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Max budget is $65k so they are price/merit sensitive.

There is a small subset of schools that are not values aligned with our family and I am not willing to give those schools my money. Specifically we won’t pay for schools that teach Christian nationalism.

What schools are you referring to?

There are a LOT of small Christian colleges out there that definitely lean this way. Many of them are NCAA D2 or NAIA so they recruit student athletes who really want to continue their sport at in college but aren't at the D1 level or able to pay for selective D3 schools.

I don't see why anyone would prohibit Notre Dame but Ave Maria, where the tour guide bragged that JD Vance spoke at orientation, no way.

[Anonymous]

We limited the number of colleges she could apply to which was 10. We told her to do your research and identify the schools you are really interested in. The shotgun approach is a waste of money and we knew it would drive her crazy. It worked out well for her. She went 9 for 10 on her applications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friends who wouldn’t let their kids apply to colleges on the west coast. Wanted them to be a weekend trip away and they considered west coast too far. One of their kids ended up moving to Seattle post-grad so not sure if it ended up how they wanted.

You do know that there is a difference between kids going to college far away after graduating HS vs moving far away for a job after graduating college.

There is a lot of growth and adulting that happens during college days that makes moving far easier. Let's put it this way - having the support and guidance of parents during college years actually made the kid able to find a job and be employable in west coast after college.

You have no idea if this is true from a cause and effect standpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course. I said no to expensive private colleges that offer no merit.

But I said yes to expensive private colleges that do offer merit, and that’s where they’re going.

+1

[Anonymous]

We strongly discouraged states like Hawaii, Florida, Utah, Alabama, Mississippi, etc…