Reflections from 2025 HYPSM admit(s)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP - When parents do this, they tell their kids during their most formative years that

1) I don't think you're that special if people find out who you really are

2) I'm preemptively taking away your chance to experience what it's like to earn your own way because I already knew you wouldn't succeed

3) I care about flexing HYPMS to strangers more than I care about giving you an authentic education that develops your real interests and talents

I worry for OP's DD. When life gets hard (and it will for everyone, even if you "went to school in the Boston area"), the poor kid will always have a nagging voice in her head that her own mother doesn't have confidence in her.

+1. No wonder college students aren't dating. Who would find these fake people attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestions for activities and how to make a ‘barb’ for a student at MCPS magnet that is interested in STEM with focus on environmental science /environmental engineering/ marine biology/conservation/environmental policy ? Still trying to focus but open to any suggestions. Student is in 10 th grade now. Thanks!

Start a new thread. Provide details about your kid. There was one last year discussing environmental major, full of excellent suggestions.

I remember that thread. Insanely good advice.

[Anonymous]

Look at your kids activities in 11th grade…promise you there’s a story.
Do independent research summer after 11th or during 11th if at private (and 12th).
Add one internship….

Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This strategy is not hard to map out. I was able to come up with 3-4 very niche ideas for how to expand/scale my DC’s interests over the 4 years of high school into something with measurable community impact and a big spike for college applications. DC refused to play along. Not all kids are as compliant as PP says. It isn’t hard to find or create really unique, interesting ECs in the DC area, but you really need a certain type of kid that is willing to play this game. Mine was not one of them.

\

This 1000%. I have 3 kids and two of them refused to play this game. They were fantastic students but categorically refused to spend 4 yrs of high school focused on a rare type of plant or the needs of a people group in Kazakhstan. One ended up at an Ivy despite this and one is at different top20.

My third kid is super compliant. If I told her, "you need to spend 5 hours a week focused on crafting with mixed metals and studying astrophysics" she would do it. She wouldn't initiate it but she would do it if I prodded her along.

Not to criticize your daughter as she sounds like a good kid, but don't you think an education system that moves this type of obedient, rule followers to the front of the line at the expense of original thinkers is the reason why we still haven't solved a lot of everyday issues like recycling plastics or feeding our poor?

Uh, not pp, but no. We have corporate interests and genuine greed to thank for not fixing those problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP - When parents do this, they tell their kids during their most formative years that

1) I don't think you're that special if people find out who you really are

2) I'm preemptively taking away your chance to experience what it's like to earn your own way because I already knew you wouldn't succeed

3) I care about flexing HYPMS to strangers more than I care about giving you an authentic education that develops your real interests and talents

I worry for OP's DD. When life gets hard (and it will for everyone, even if you "went to school in the Boston area"), the poor kid will always have a nagging voice in her head that her own mother doesn't have confidence in her.

+1

After seeing so many people game the system just for the sake of prestige, I’ve grown deeply disappointed and despise in how things work in college admission. I have no desire to raise my kid to be a hollow person—a person who carries a college brand name but has little else to show for it and live a "in-genuine life"

The 18 years I have with my kid are the most precious parts of my life. I would never trade my kid's formative years for a narrow focus on external validation or status.
This is simply how I feel. I choose to stand by what I believe is right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP - When parents do this, they tell their kids during their most formative years that

1) I don't think you're that special if people find out who you really are

2) I'm preemptively taking away your chance to experience what it's like to earn your own way because I already knew you wouldn't succeed

3) I care about flexing HYPMS to strangers more than I care about giving you an authentic education that develops your real interests and talents

I worry for OP's DD. When life gets hard (and it will for everyone, even if you "went to school in the Boston area"), the poor kid will always have a nagging voice in her head that her own mother doesn't have confidence in her.

Just curious. Are you worried about hooked kids? They didn't get in on their own. Do you worried that they will have a nagging voice in their head? Academically or ability-wise, the hooked kids are inferior to other non-hooked admits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP - When parents do this, they tell their kids during their most formative years that

1) I don't think you're that special if people find out who you really are

2) I'm preemptively taking away your chance to experience what it's like to earn your own way because I already knew you wouldn't succeed

3) I care about flexing HYPMS to strangers more than I care about giving you an authentic education that develops your real interests and talents

I worry for OP's DD. When life gets hard (and it will for everyone, even if you "went to school in the Boston area"), the poor kid will always have a nagging voice in her head that her own mother doesn't have confidence in her.

Just curious. Are you worried about hooked kids? They didn't get in on their own. Do you worried that they will have a nagging voice in their head? Academically or ability-wise, the hooked kids are inferior to other non-hooked admits.

If elite colleges don’t seem to care, why should other parents be so concerned about how everyone else is raising their children or where they choose to place their focus?

[Anonymous]

While there are exceptions to the rule, overall it’s a game and you’re either playing or you’re not. It’s ok not to play… more than ok if it’s what the kids wants (or isn’t inclined). For kids who are going for one of these schools for whatever reason, it’s what you have to do. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP - When parents do this, they tell their kids during their most formative years that

1) I don't think you're that special if people find out who you really are

2) I'm preemptively taking away your chance to experience what it's like to earn your own way because I already knew you wouldn't succeed

3) I care about flexing HYPMS to strangers more than I care about giving you an authentic education that develops your real interests and talents

I worry for OP's DD. When life gets hard (and it will for everyone, even if you "went to school in the Boston area"), the poor kid will always have a nagging voice in her head that her own mother doesn't have confidence in her.

+1

After seeing so many people game the system just for the sake of prestige, I’ve grown deeply disappointed and despise in how things work in college admission. I have no desire to raise my kid to be a hollow person—a person who carries a college brand name but has little else to show for it and live a "in-genuine life"

The 18 years I have with my kid are the most precious parts of my life. I would never trade my kid's formative years for a narrow focus on external validation or status.
This is simply how I feel. I choose to stand by what I believe is right.

++1

Especially when kids who are genuinely smart and not practicing these scams are still getting into great colleges. They may be ranked #30 vs. #3, but the kids enter without baggage of knowing they're a fake. Also, don't assume parents like OP will just pipe down once their overly-packaged kids get into college. Of course they continue to meddle and hire tutors for their DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at your kids activities in 11th grade…promise you there’s a story.
Do independent research summer after 11th or during 11th if at private (and 12th).
Add one internship….

Done.

False. My kid did all that, perfect grades and SAT too.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to acknowledge that if a reader is going to remember you, you have to be memorable.

standard strong is not memorable in T20 pools. sorry. tell a story. make it easier on the reader to remember you, like you, want to admit you.

if you think that's a game, then just submit your 1540 and your AP scores and your essays about the big loss as a team that taught you more than the big win as an individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I mean, Harvard has bills to pay too. So they’ll gladly take money from insecure and obviously wealthy parents who can pay to involve their dc in activities that boost their application prospects. It’s all so gross but you do you. And then they can say they are ‘need blind’ too.

^I'm the PP you're replying to. You're making a big assumption that we're a full-pay family and we're just paying out the nose for application-boosting activities. You're wrong. And the ECs that my youngest participated in were things like research with a local professor & volunteering at a nonprofit for kids with disabilities. We paid $0 for either EC, but yes- we did help her by driving her to volunteering, helping her fill out the research assistant paperwork, and encouraging her interest in this area.

You may not be full pay, but if you think that admission officers don’t know the signals for money, you are being purposely naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP - When parents do this, they tell their kids during their most formative years that

1) I don't think you're that special if people find out who you really are

2) I'm preemptively taking away your chance to experience what it's like to earn your own way because I already knew you wouldn't succeed

3) I care about flexing HYPMS to strangers more than I care about giving you an authentic education that develops your real interests and talents

I worry for OP's DD. When life gets hard (and it will for everyone, even if you "went to school in the Boston area"), the poor kid will always have a nagging voice in her head that her own mother doesn't have confidence in her.

Hope OP enjoys their Ivy bumper sticker and sweatshirt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to acknowledge that if a reader is going to remember you, you have to be memorable.

standard strong is not memorable in T20 pools. sorry. tell a story. make it easier on the reader to remember you, like you, want to admit you.

if you think that's a game, then just submit your 1540 and your AP scores and your essays about the big loss as a team that taught you more than the big win as an individual.

You have a point about being memorable but it may apply more to large publics than privates. Many feeder privates have a whopping 60-120 kids per class, among them only 20-30 kids max are considered top 10% and encouraged by CC to apply to T10 unhooked. When you do the math, that means on average T10 will only get 2-4 apps max from that high school. It won't be that hard for the regional rep assigned to the HS to remember the physics girl vs. the history boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at your kids activities in 11th grade…promise you there’s a story.
Do independent research summer after 11th or during 11th if at private (and 12th).
Add one internship….

Done.

False. My kid did all that, perfect grades and SAT too.

Both mine did it.
Ivy and T10