Child broke leg on sidewalk—should I talk to the neighbor or teach my 12-year-old to pay more attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I literally would've never thought of blaming my neighbor, let alone writing this post. A 12 yr old should avoid what's in his path. The end.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Op, teach your child to put his feet down to stop!

[Anonymous]

You have no case. That being said, I've always said sidewalks create a false sense of safety and actually advise against buying in a neighborhood with them. From people backing into pedestrians to bicycles on the sidewalk mowing people down, sidewalks need to make walkers more vigilant not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I’m not suing anyone. It’s not worth it over a few small copays. What I really wanted was input on two teaching moments:

Riding safely on the sidewalk. How do you teach your child to scan ahead, slow down around obstacles, and respect raised curb edges when biking?

Keeping the sidewalk clear. What’s the best way to reinforce that once they’re done riding (or when it’s trash day), they need to move their bike—and any trash cans—fully off the walk?

Also, I’d love everyone’s thoughts on approaching our neighbor. Should I send a friendly note explaining that their trash can blocked the path, caused my son to swerve and break his leg, and remind them it’s legally required to pull the cart in by the end of pickup day? How have you handled similar conversations?

OK, i'm going to actually tell you how I did this. And we live in DC and let our kids ride in the streets, so they need to learn to be EXTREMELY careful otherwise they will literally be run over by a red light runner or something.

I biked alongside them for like a year, telling them exactly what I'm thinking about while biking -- looking out for pedestrians, for cars opening doors, for cars pulling out of the lane for a stupid reason, etc. I have my inner monologue about what hazards to look out for, and I teach them how to think that way.

They are super safe bikers now.

This is the most helpful thing I learned about parenting, and I read it in a book so I will assume the best and share it.

Here is how you teach your kid a new skill.

Step 1: Show them how to do it
Step 2: Do it with them
Step 3: Watch them while they do it
Step 4: They can do it on their own

Each step might take a while.

I count biking and bike safety in this category of skill teaching.

[Anonymous]

Im with op can't stand neighbors who leave their cans out

[Anonymous]

OP, you need a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I’m not suing anyone. It’s not worth it over a few small copays. What I really wanted was input on two teaching moments:

Riding safely on the sidewalk. How do you teach your child to scan ahead, slow down around obstacles, and respect raised curb edges when biking?

Keeping the sidewalk clear. What’s the best way to reinforce that once they’re done riding (or when it’s trash day), they need to move their bike—and any trash cans—fully off the walk?

Also, I’d love everyone’s thoughts on approaching our neighbor. Should I send a friendly note explaining that their trash can blocked the path, caused my son to swerve and break his leg, and remind them it’s legally required to pull the cart in by the end of pickup day? How have you handled similar conversations?

Do not approach the neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im with op can't stand neighbors who leave their cans out

I can't stand kids who are reckless and use no common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that my child should have seen the trashcan, but under Virginia law the real liability lies with the neighbor who left it blocking the sidewalk for over three days. Property owners must remove their carts promptly, and leaving one in the middle of a public walkway creates a clear hazard.

Furthermore, Virginia’s contributory-negligence rules protect children under 14: those under seven cannot be held negligent at all, and children aged seven to fourteen are presumed incapable of contributory negligence unless it can be proven they knew of and disregarded a risk.

My point is, shouldn’t the neighbor also learn a lesson about keeping the sidewalk clear?

If you have a photo of the trash can, presumably it was visible, which would go a long way toward proving that your kid knew of and disregarded the danger. Trash cans aren't small.

But more importantly, you are looking for self-described "small" copays and something for pain and suffering? If I were the neighbor, I'd tell you to eff off, and sue me. You'd likely lose, but even if you won, you won't get anything substantial in pain and suffering, as long as anyone rational is on your jury. And you'll become a pariah in your neighborhood. You'll be a laughingstock if you even ask, but if you go so far as to sue, people will avoid you like the plague, and ridicule you behind your back. I know your and your family wouldn't be welcome on my property - ever. Don't do that to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that the real problem here is everyone knows the kid was wrong but no one's reading the law. Apparently the law states that if you are under a certain age, you cannot be negligent because it's assumed that you do not have negligence from the law. So please read the law and then also does this this guy's wonderful neighbor left a trash can out for 3 days in the middle of the sidewalk. So let's put some blame on the neighbor as well. At the very least the neighbor should put away the trash can at least at the end of the day. Not wait 3 days. Are any of you abreast to the laws of Virginia? Because apparently it's very clear based upon this research from this post I was confused as well and totally thought this person's kid is at fault but apparently the laws in Virginia say otherwise

Could you repeat this in English, please?

[Anonymous]

Talk to your kid. The trash can is usually visible, and sometimes the garbage trucks place the can on the sidewalk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something about this story doesn’t add up.

Your son was legally allowed to bicycle on the sidewalk? Check.
Neighbors left their can on the sidewalk? Check.
WHY didn’t your son avoid the trash can? He needs glasses or he was riding too fast to stop? Or something else entirely?

The fact is, your kid will be driving a car in a few years. Avoiding obstacles that could cause an accident should be an obvious responsibility.

I have a 12 year old. He either wasn't paying attention or going too fast that when he tried to swerve at the last minute, he lost control of the bike. My bet is going too fast. Its been a common complaint on our town's Facebook page about kids going so fast on their bikes that they can't safely avoid anything that gets in their path.

I'm confused because I was an idiot kid who rode too fast on the sidewalk. You just... go on the grass? Does this kid not know how to ride his bike?

That's probably the problem. He goes too fast for his ability. If you can go fast and maneuver your bike around a trash can, you're fine. If you end up breaking your leg because you can't avoid a trash can, you need to ride much slower. I'd be more sympathetic if it was a hose or a rake or something low to the ground. But come on OP. Don't be THAT parent.

This is interesting. These are a lot of maybes maybe this. Maybe that maybe whatever I think that would op is noting is that the evidence shows trash can and sidewalk trial and that's the you know requirement of actual proof. There's no way to prove someone was going too quickly or not without having some type of odometer which I doubt op's child had. And even then I believe the law in Virginia states you have to be under 20 mph. Or maybe it's some subjective based upon what is safe. But I believe 20 mph and I doubt that op's child was going 20 mph on the sidewalk as a 12-year-old

I'm sorry, I don't speak gibberish.

[Anonymous]

Idiot kid by idiot mom

[Anonymous]

If you sue your neighbor, the health insurance company will have to be reimbursed for all medical expenses they paid for the accident so while you might get your copays covered, that’s about it. And it will take a long time and effort to see any results. Seems so pointless. Glad we are not neighbors!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, teach your child to put his feet down to stop!

If he broke his leg that actually may have caused it. Braking usually works fine,